@mema I guesa your reading my old posts but thanks for tour reaponse. 
@aamls… yeah I am finally happy too. Do you think I should still have that talk? When he told me about that girl I just reacted normally.
thats so good. im so happy for you. what is it exactly what you wanna say to him? I still think that anything like this is still to early and you should give it more time to be on the safe side.
Well I just wanted to say that I wont mind if he talks to anyone in a friendly way. I would tell him that if he talks to someone, nobody can take my place ( it would show as if I am not insecure). And would tell him that I was thinking that I wouldn’t ask him too much about anything and will give him his freedom so that we wont fight on these topic again and again.
I just wanted to say so that he would open up to me and feels comfortable to tell me anything without fearing of getting into another fight.
But tonighy he told me about this girl and I am seeing its already working without that talk.
so if you want give it time and see if the talk is really needed. if you think you can handle it then more power to you, meaning you are working on your issues. I think your doing great and everything seems to be going really well for you. your both doing great.
Hey aamls. I am feeling very low today. 
he didn’t come to meet me. Its almost 9 pm now and I called him at 6:30pm to tell him to meet early as I have to go out for dinner with my family. He was also out with his mom in market. We both live nearby. I feel like he is not that interested in spending time with me. I am afraid he might be with thay girl again. Idk if he also gives ride to her on his bike. Its really hard to picture that he has a sports bike and I used to hug him whenever he gave me a ride. Idk im feeling very low
Today is sunday and still he didnt even talked to me for more than 5 mins and that too only on text.
You know that girl gives him kisses on text. She asked him to marry her (just a joke). She called him baby on text. She does that to all her friends. She also says ily to him. I know ne doesn’t consider more than his friend but still she even asks for hug when they meet. My bf smokes cigarettes. She is like 15 years old kid and my bf is 19 years. She also smokes. I am not feeling good about this
Yesterday they were smoking cigarette together only.
Last night I talked about our marriage. He said that he doesn’t want to get married idk if it was just a joke or he was serious. I really dont know but he said that he doesn’t want to get married I am just about to cry 
He has changed alot. So he came back around 11 pm. He didn’t say anything about the meet up that we had decided. I thought shouldn’t talk about that too.
Then he just said that he needs 10 hour sleep daily and which means he will sleep at 12am. He knows that we only talk properly at night still. He told me to sleep on time as well.
Then he had money problem this month so we were discussing that. I told him to quit smoking. Its harmful for his health. He told me that he wants to die at the age of 25-30. I asked him if he didn’t like to be with me? He said I want to be with you but I dont want to get old. And said he genuinely wants to die. I started crying. We were talking on that app only. I behaved like nothing happened but I was broken from inside. I told him to wait for 10 minutes. He asked me why I am asking him to wait but I just replied that I ll be back in 10 mins. He got angry and texted me goodnight.
I saw it after 10 minutes. Then I texted him that I was sorry and called him up to come online again. He came but he scolded me for calling him that late. He was with his brother and his brother was sleeping. I again said sorry for calling him. He said why did I go and what i was doing. I didn’t want to lie to him so I told him that I was crying. He asked me why. I said that he genuinely wanted to die and all. He said I am not dead right now so why I was crying.
I asked him should I wait for him to die first and then cry? I told him everyone says that they want to be there for eachother always and wants to grow old together.
He said in a kidding manner “then be with them why are you with me? I have made my decision”
I just said okay
He said good night I love you and went offline again.
I then texted him
I said " I love you more and I want to be with you forever. I’ll be with you no matter what. I won’t bother you I promise. If you don’t want to get married , we’ll never marry but don’t die. I am sorry but I love you so much."
He came onkine after 10 mins and all he said was
“You cry so much. I know me that I get angry when you do this emotional talk”
Then he cracked a joke and said to study a bit till he’s searching some stuff online(related to gym). We talked for 2 minutes and he went offline.
Its 1 am he didn’t sleep. The thing he said about having a sleep of 10 hours was like that he didn’t want to talk to me.
I feel like total crap
He doesn’t want to meet me, talk to me, marry me. And most importantly he wants to die
Hey! Stay strong you’ve been doing really well!
That talk about wanting to die is really quite worrisome… He may want to go see a doctor or something about that…
Sorry this took me a really long time to read 
It seems like you two have definately made ALOT of progress since the beginning of this thread, however his mood seems to change very rapidly… One minute everythings fine and the next he seems angry for no apparent reason… and the other girl you’re telling us about… Don’t outright confront him about it because as you said, that will just lead to you two fighting again, but next time you guys are having a nice conversation maybe just ask him about it. It’s quite obvious that he loves you! He just seems to have alot of stuff going on which is quite confusing :s
Hang in there! You’re on the right track! Now you’ve just got to travel the distance !
You’re right. But he doesn’t like to have any serious or emotional talks. It was not like this before our break up.
He genuinely wanted to marry me and live his whole life with me. Now, all he wants to die in young age because he doesn’t want to be old. This is stupid and unlike him.
Last night was great. Never had a serious conversation but he told he loved me and wished me night properly but not tonight!
Should I treat him the same way he’s treating me or should I keep being normal and keep showering my love on him? I am confused 
hey, for now give him space and dont talk about marriage anymore till way later on. this may just push him away father as its probably to strong of a talk for just coming back together. I also think that he may be going through some emotional problems if hes talking this way and hanging out with that girl. its good hes being honest with you. if I were you I’d let him look for you. try to read his behavior so you know how to act and when. your doing good, just save the strong talks for later. it sounds like hes going through to much emotional stuff for him to be talking about wanting to die young. is there any way that he would go to talk to someone? getting professional help? stay strong and take it day by day. your doing really well keep it up.
To be honest, I dont think he has any emotional problem( but sometimes you never know). In past also, he used to say about dying in young age but I never thought he was serious about it.
The day we got back together, he saved my number with “wifey”.
But yes, whenever we used to fight and I was not talking to him, he always used to tell his mom that he won’t get married. I think this time we were separated for almost 1.5 months, his thoughts might be strong this time.
But this morning, he called me to wake me up. Wished me good morning like before. Told me to have my breakfast. And talked to me for 2 hours before going to his college.
Should I talk to him or let it be? He doesn’t like to have serious and emotional talk these days. Idk what to do:(
Hey divjun,
Wow, there’s a lot going on. First of all that talk about dying: Believe it or not 19 years olds DO NOT want to die at a young age. No. This is not suicide-talk, this is wanna-be-Kurt-Cobain-ruthless-cowboy talk - and - also a test. You cried (which is perfectly normal) but - he made you cry. For him that’s a sign of power - it’s a simple power game: “I am so important to this person, I can stir her up emotionally, I can make her cry.” - Just look at his reaction afterwards: he cracked a joke and said he get’s angry if you become so emotional. What!?
People who think a lot about dying and life’s perishability would never talk about death so airily. It’s the six year old boy who wears his little leather hat and pretends he’s a cowboy. And that’s okay. Just nothing you should get overly emotional about. Because it’s just talk. If he starts something like that again, respect it - in a neutral way. Tell him that you think that’s a pitty but you yourself do want to get old and lead a happy and long life. Do not get fooled into playing this game.
Concerning all else, ypu have to decide whether his behaviour and all that pulling and pushing is cracking you up too much, if so, I think you’d need to talk to him, tell him that you assume that the getting back together came too early, that this is not a healthy relationship, that you want to give him time and space to sort things out for him and then start NC in a diminished form again.
If you think you can endure all of this a little longer, wait and see, but chances are you might wait quite long.
Still keep your head high. You’re a warm and emotionally intelligent person and you have made it thus far. That’s an achievement.
Benz
@benz thanks a lot:)
Yes, he has the power in our relationship. He dominates me but he doesn’t take advantage of it (he did take sometimes).
Moreover, he looks really okay emotionally but everything is not same between us.
And trust me, he is not ready for any talk.
I am having my exams in less than a month and I really don’t want any distractions. So I was thinking to take a step after my exams are over. What do you think? And it will also give him enough time to get back to our previous routine.
P.s. he was not that unemotional before our break up. If I had said something like that before, he would have simply hugged me and kissed me and would have said that he loves me too.
Hey all,
I have decided to do something. As I am having my exams in less than a month so I dont want any distractions.
I have decided to mix two strategies.
- Treat him the same way he treats me.
- Keep showering my love on him in hope everything will get better and he’ll become normal again.
I won’t completely ignore him and not completely shower my love on him.
So this is what happened till now:
In the morning we talked like 2 hours. Then he came back from college and texted me -“I am home. Lets hit the gym at 6:30pm”
I just said okay
At 6:15 I asked him if he was coming to pick me up.
He said to come by my own as someone he knows saw us together.
I was thinking why is he so afraid if someone sees us together. I didn’t say anything. He asked me if I want he can still come to pick me up. I said no, I can come by my own. But due to some reason I couldn’t so I called him.
He picked me up. Today we didn’t work out together.
I was just waiting for him to come or for him to call me to join him.
He came to me and we did worked out together.
Then we left. He dropped me off at my place.
He drops me away from my place as my family doesn’t know that I even have a bf lol.
I used to text him always that I have reached safely. But after we got back together, he never responded to my that text. So I just decided not to text him this time.
To mu surprise, he called me after 10 mins to ask me if I have reached safely or not. I said I am at home only. He said then why didn’t I text him. I said I was just tired and I forgot texting him.
Then he cracked a joke and we said bye and I said love you. He didn’t say love you too but again cracked a joke. We laughed and then hung up.
Thats it.
Lets see what happens at night.
Am I doing the right thing?
Can time fix this problem or do I have to take some steps?
Don’t tell me to have a talk with him because he is not ready for any serious or emotional talks.
@divjun @benz seems to have good advise for you. I think that since you know your situation better you should know if you should reply or not. I think you should focus on your exams for now and then when time calms down you can talk more about the issues your having. but if you choose to do what @Benz said are you ready to do that after getting him back? you have a lot to think about here. I would have answer him back and been really nice to him when he sent that text message, then I would have waited for him to text me back, but again im not sure about your situation. keep us posted on what you decided to do and how everything is going. your doing great keep it up.
@aamls thanks but I am really confused. Which text you’re talking about? I have replies to his every texts
sounds like you have a plan and are doing great. since hes not saying I love you back I think you shouldnt say it as often or stop (whatever you think is best) to see how he acts or to see if he notices it(to see his reaction) this way you can have a better idea of how he feels ect. I wanna know why he doesnt say it back. :-/ maybe hes taking his time,idk, but I notice he cracks a lot of jokes. anyways remain strong and follow your plan. your doing great.
no problem. I meant the one you said if you should reply to or not.
I think the best you can do is to give him some space. It seems as though he might be a little bit confused and the last thing he needs is a serious talk. For your own sake, back off for the next month, focus on your exams. It will confuse him and he’ll most likely start being much nicer to you.