I understand what NC is really for, but I want to talk about NC regarding getting your ex back.
Following a break up, if it takes weeks to finally establish NC didn’t you already ruin your chances after weeks of begging, crying, and looking weak?
Is +30 days of space really going to help your chances of saving a relationship that left your ex with an everlasting impression of your weaknesses?
What you all think?
Bump
Nc is not a tool used to get your ex back. It is purely for you - to get in control of your emotions and take some time to process the break up. It won’t “get her back”. All that matters is how you improve yourself and behave while you’re not speaking to her. It just prevents showing her any other negative things.
@atea1234 my thing is if your ex remembers you as a desperate, needy, little kid. Then what are the chances they want to meet with you when you eventually contact them again? You see what I mean? Let’s be honest, alot of us are here because we want our ex back, we’re not really here for us (unfortunately). I just feel like some of us (including me) have already buried ourselves 6 feet deep and have no chance of rising back to the surface, in regards to rekindling a relationship with our ex again. Some of that begging, pleading, and crying you did when you broke up probably already sealed your fate. Idk that’s just how I feel…
The thing is that there is really no way to predict how anyone’s ex will respond after months of Nc. Begging and pleading isn’t good but most people do it at least a little after the break up. What matters the most is how you conduct yourself during Nc. No one (not even your ex) can predict how she will be feeling or what she will be thinking some months down the line. truthfully the only way anyone can get their ex back is to put themselves first and work on getting over the break up and becoming a better person. Once that’s happened you can start to consider a possible reconciliation.
Also dwelling on what you’ve already done in the past will just bring you down. You’ve already done the begging and pleading and can’t take it back so it really doesn’t matter. What matters is how hou move forward.
Think of it like this: Since you’ve already done the begging and pleading, the only way you can make her think that you’re not that needy person anymore is by doing NC. Why? Because if you were to assume contact again, after only days, or weeks after coming across as desperate and needy, it won’t be believable! She’ll think you are faking it (which you would be). The only way to convince her you are over her is to do a LONG period of NC, after which, if you get in contact with her and show her a new and improved version of yourself, she might actually buy it. Coincidentally, you need NC for yourself, to actually become that person that she might be attracted to again. Because, guess what, desperation reeks. It’s painfully obvious every damn time, no matter how hard you try to hide it. And it’s never attractive. So although NC is no guarantee for getting an ex back, it’s definitely your best shot. Good luck!