My bf of sadly only 3 months broke up with me a week ago. The reason was that it went too quickly for him & he isn‘t ready for a relationship. He’s also not the relationship type.
After his past relation (which was very bad) he apparently said he didn‘t want a gf anymore, but then met me and fell in love and thought it would work out. That’s why he rushed it, because he was worried I wouldn’t be interested if he didn’t and would lose me, but then realized he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He fought so hard to win me over, because he thought he finally found a good girl. He always said it’s hard to find a girl like me and he’s so lucky to have me. He was clearly in love which he also says.
But he is a very cold, unromantic person. Which is fine for me, since he showed me love anyways. I never felt unloved.
A week ago everything still seemed fine to me so I didn‘t expect this at all. He said it‘s not my fault, I did nothing wrong, I was a great girlfriend etc. He also said his feelings are not as strong as they were in the beginning. I’m not sure how someones feelings can disappear so fast unless they weren’t real, but he insists they were. He also doesn’t understand why he feels this way since he finally found a good girl, but he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He almost seemed mad at himself for not wanting it. He said: „Ugh finally I have a great girlfriend and still don‘t want it“
He said I’ll always give more love to the relationship than he would and said there’s no point and it will only hurt me more if we continue. I’m happy he was honest and open and I’m not mad at him. But for me it‘s hard to comprehend and I wonder why he suddenly feels this way if I did nothing wrong and was such a „dream girl“ to him?
Trust me, I tried finding millions of reasons for his choice. Like I was too clingy didn‘t give him space or if he‘d rather sleep around. Nothing, every reason I had, he said NO! It‘s really not my fault, I should never think that. It‘s just what he feels and what his HEAD is telling him. I asked him what his heart is telling him? He paused, was thinking and then quietly, unsurely said „the same“. Maybe I‘m reaching and just want to believe we have a chance. I don‘t know.
He also doesn‘t like to talk about his feelings and has his guard up I think. But he did always say that I was a person he trusted the most. The problem is he doesn‘t know what he wants, I feel like he‘s scared of his emotions and what he feels and pushes me away by saying these things.
I feel like we could’ve worked it out as a couple, but he said he thought about it well and he doesn‘t want me to suffer.
I just don‘t think it‘s fair. Because we never had the chance to really have a proper relationship. He was in the military and we only saw each other on the weekend. Since he was so tired we just stayed at home. We never got to have amazing dates and experiences which breaks my heart. A week before the break up we still talked about going places / doing things. One week after being in the military he broke up.
It‘s hard for me to let go of it, because I feel like sooner or later he will deeply regret his decision, since he always said it’s hard to find someone like me and he’ll realize what he lost. Something inside of me believes there is still hope.
We ended on good terms and we said we could remain friends. He still snapchats me and we saw each other at the gym too. He came up and talked to me. I try to apply no contact and only reply if he sends me something. I don’t know if no contact is the right approach? It‘s also hard since we also have mutuals friends.
I just miss him and love him a lot, he’s was my first love , I just want him back ? The relationship was so short and I believe it could’ve lasted longer.
Do any of you see a chance of us getting together again?