Hello to all. My girlfriend recently broke up with me. We raced into a relationship and I moved across the country to be with her. We both had a mutual friend so this was not an online meeting. We hit it off and things were great.
Unfortunately when I moved from Kansas to California to be with her I think the stress got to me. On top of that I work a 14 hr/day job and commute 3.5 hrs round trip. I thought I was able to handle it but as I look back my mental health was rapidly deteriorating. On top of that I am bipolar so the ramifications of stress and lack of sleep are magnified 10 fold.
Well over the course of nine months she would nitpick stuff and I took it as her believing I wasn’t good enough for her. Once in a while I would blow up. When I blow up I have to leave immediately to cool off otherwise I lose control of my anger and say hurtful things I don’t mean.
Most of the time things were great but just that loss of control hurt her emotionally. Eventually she broke up with me and I think it was a good idea because I needed different medication and she needed some space. Afterwards we had some pretty spiteful exchanges but now we are on good terms now that I have got the right medication to control my mood swings.
My stuff is still at her place and I’m living with a coworker. I had to go over there to get some stuff and we had a good conversation. I was upbeat and playful but also regretful about how I behaved. She said she noticed a huge difference and was crying because our relationship could have been different had I gotten help sooner. Although she said she doesn’t know if she can ever trust me not to go off again but if she did she would need a long time like a year or more. She wasn’t against slowly trying to talk more and see how things go. (This was before I came across this website).
I guess I’m looking for advice. Is my hope doomed? I will have to see her again because I will have to move out. Should I just not talk to her before and after that? She has texted me but seems distant.