Hi all,
Rather complicated story (as often) so first I will lay out the situation.
I’ve been best friends with a girl for 7-8 years, and at a party about 1.5 years ago we suddenly hooked up. We had some amazing time, huge physical attraction, everything felt perfect. Then I left overseas for work on a 10 month project. We saw eachother twice (she took the effort to fly over & visit me!). Those short holidays were also just perfect honeymoons! During these 10 months we’ve had daily contact (mail/app/phone).
I got back home Dec 1st from this project and looked forward to build the relation to the next level & settle with her. However, she had doubts and after just 3 dates she broke up because ‘she wasnt in love with me’.
Needless to say i’m pretty devastated and confused! Breakup was around christmas and I’m on full NC for 9 days now.
Any thoughts on this best friends –> madly in love couple –> long distance relation –> sudden end ?
It might be that a physical attraction wasn’t enough for her. And of the 17 months you were in a relationship, 10 of those months were long distant. Maybe she didn’t miss you or love you as deeply as she thought she should in order to maintain the relationship, it happens.
Continue no contact for 1-3 months and then contact her to ask how she’s doing and take it from there…
Since you started as friends, maybe your ex felt more of a compassionate love than a passionate love, while you felt both. You were madly in love and maybe she didn’t love in quite the same way. It is hard to tell what her feelings really are when you are on the side that is all in.
The good news, I think, is that I think your chances of reconciliation are good. Most likely she will not feel any bad feelings toward you at all and will begin to miss her best friend, and when you are back around she might again feel the closeness and comfort she felt before and may want to be with you again, provided you can be there for her and aren’t going to exit her life again.