Been in NC since October.

I’m not sure who remembers my sorry, but I’ve been in Nc for three months. It’s not to do the five steps. It’s for my own health and well-being. I needed to separate myself from my ex. There’s still so much anger for what she did to me; I thought it was safer if we stayed away from each other.

I stumbled upon a picture of her at New Years. Someone else had shared it on my timeline on a social networking site. At first, I felt the old familiar feelings of numbness in my arms, the cold sensation in my chest, and the heartbreaking sadness. She seems to have moved on with the person she cheated on me with (the second time).

Before I went NC, my ex tried to keep in contact. She wanted me in her life and even hinted at both of us getting our shit together and seeing what might happen later in life. I shit that shit down. She lied too much and cheated twice within six months. I have enough respect for myself to say no to the train wreck she is. However, I can’t help but miss her sometimes. I have blocked her phone number, I do not have her on any social networking account, and I have told her to not reach out to my siblings. (She did that before to try and check up on me.)

The last message I had from her was, “I will not contact you again. I’m really sorry for everything and I promise I haven’t said anything about you to people.”

She’s lying about that last part though. The last day we were together she asked if she could be on my life. I told her only if she can be trusted and that I don’t trust her. That she needs to start being honest about everything that has transpired. She said she was willing to do whatever it takes… And then proceeded to lie to me twice.

I know she doesn’t respect me, and I question if she even considers me a human being… Or a thing that she would keep around for company because she didn’t think she could get anything else etc.

I don’t plan on breaking NC. It really is best not to reach out. The love of my life died the moment this bitch came to the surface. A decade of my life misspent on someone who never really appreciated me, someone that never communicated with me, someone that never stood up for me, someone that called me names in front of people and even hit me, someone that cheated on me twice and laughed in my face when I cried about it, someone that assaulted me and then called the cops and told them (and her new significant other) that I attacked her.

I spent a great deal of time understanding where she was coming from. I checked out and didn’t show a lot of attentiveness due to her jealousy and forcing my isolation.

But there’s no real excuse for how she lied to me, about me, and how she treated me like I didn’t sacrifice almost everything over a span of a decade.

Sorry. Decided to vent. I’m making a therapy appointment today. I don’t think it’s normal to be this angry and sad at this point. It’s just so bizarre how someone can be like she is now. As if I meant nothing all along…

Story*

It’s good to vent. Get it all out. When you spend so much time with one person, you will forever be linked. Reminders will be present. I had 9 years and some days still hit me with an en easy feeling. I have yet to find someone I can see myself with permanently since, but I have been getting out and dating and have a girl I spend a lot of time with. Just have to continue to be strong, move on, and find personal happiness.

Agree. I tried dating, but everyone is about shallow connections. Hookups. Talking to multiple people at once. I don’t feel like I’ll ever find a compatible person.

I can’t believe my ex. She turned into something so awful. I’m still here having love for a person that treated me horribly.

I’m a putz.

I wouldn’t say your a putz, it’s just the person you want and remember the good times is no longer that person. People unfortunately change, some for the better and some for the worst. She appears have changed for the worse.

The hardest part after after a break up with a person your spent along time with is the fear of change. I know personally every girl I meet involves starting something completely different than I once knew. I know compromises need to be made and I get a feeling of an unusual feeling. Completely moving on is not easy as I have always felt since the break up that I lost a very good girl. I at times feel while being with a new girl that it will not be as good and thst is my demise in my post relationships. I have nice times with my dates and we usually hit it off for a month or so but they say I become distant to them and it doesn’t progress from that. I just continue to work on myself and hopefully find the right person for me.

It’s not easy, but overall we will be ok.

Memories of good times don’t ever need to be forgotten, but new memories can always be made with new people.