I’m sorry if my storyline is messy, because I’m still a mess right now.
We had been together for 5 months, just broke up 9 days ago. My ex boyfriend broke up with me because he doesn’t like the person I am: we fought so regularly; we have different mindset in dealing the problem, so we seem to never agree on anything only when we fight. When he broke up with me, he said: “I don’t love you anymore.” “I want a long-term relationship, but it is you who make me rethink my decision.” “Don’t ever text or call me again, I won’t reply.” “Don’t contact me again, just forget about me.”
He said a lot of hurtful things, some of them hurt my tolerance too. One minute he was all so caring and a lovey-dovey boyfriend, the next day he turned into a cold-hearted monster who hurt my feeling deeply 
I didn’t talk to him for a week, then returning to offer being friends with him because I didn’t want any bad feelings between us, which he agreed to. Yet things got messy. We had one bad fight again, with me hurting his pride and he hurting my feelings again. Then at night, he finally sit to end this. I asked for his real thoughts & feelings, answering the questions obsessing my mind for the past week.
I asked, “Did you really love me?”
“Yes.” he said.
“Much?” I asked.
“Not much.”
That’s it. He broke up with me because he doesn’t love me enough to overcome our struggles. People say when a person wants to breakup, they will find a reason The problem is that he doesn’t love me as much as I love him, and that broke me. However, I’m a stubborn girl. Just yesterday, I settled our breakup from a messy breakup into an acceptable one.
Yesterday, he really said his mind: “The days ignored your text. I just wanted to disappear. I made a mistake of loving you while I didn’t love you as much. You are the one took all the burden to my mistakes and because of that, I can’t face you. I can’t look at you and see what I have done to you. I think I wasted your precious time. I think without me in my life, you won’t have to cry and sad and wait for my messages every day.”
Despite of the fact that men’s words are unbelievable, I ask again, when he’s ready, can we be friends again. And he said OK. We are now just facebook friends, but never talk. But I still tend to get him back, so I guess this is the No Contact phrase for me. I still love him, no doubt, even though he is a lady-killer, he didn’t cheat on me. He are my everything: joy, sadness, rainy days, thoughts,… I thought he was ‘the one’ who needs to learn a bit more about how to love since we’re still young.
The problem which makes me worry is that: my ex is quite tough to change his mind. I want to get him back, but I’m terrified of the thought that he thinks breaking up with me would find me a better man who loves me more than he did, that he did me a favor, so he won’t be back ruining my life again. But life without him aren’t the same again Why is it that instead of feeling unworthy of my love, why don’t he try his best to deserve it? He made a clean-cut, telling me not to text him again. That he doesn’t love me anymore, he hates me, he doesn’t want a future with me. Moreover, I’m afraid that, since he had loved his ex more than he loved me, and he probably regret breaking up with her. He could try to get back to her during my No Contact phrase.
So what are your says on my case? I want him back for sure since I really think we can sort everything out in the new relationship, but I don’t know with a man like him, will these tactics work? Anything could help! Thank you!
It’s strange that during the NC, reading posts about getting ex back keep my mind off of his FB and active time (I had a habit of checking on him to see whether he’s asleep or still awake overdoing stuff and harm his health, yup that’s how much I cared, and still after break up) I have seen him got over his ex’s, he even befriended his first love - they have been friends for 6 years. I don’t know if this will affect any of my chances. Anyway, thank you so much for your insight! It helps ^^