Me and my ex had been together for a year (apart from a 3 month break in November and back together in Jan). Our initial breakup occured because of an ex pushing the boundaries and I was not comfortable with it. Once we got back together I told him I would not tolerate the same happening again - our new relationship was fab as far as I was concerned, we didn’t see each other much as he was busy with his new job. Then he dumped me because he was busy with his job and “didn’t like me enough”. We have been broken up for over a month now.
I accidentally broke NC on Day 18 and he told me that he missed me/liked me but didn’t want to get back together as “we have tried twice and therefore just don’t work”. I struggle to understand because he’s very hot/cold, and has broke up with me twice for no specific reason and out of the blue. Nothing drastic happened. I’ve not messaged since this day as I believe he’s seeing other people and I would rather focus my energy on building a better life for myself right now.
I do really like this guy, do you think there could be hope for us in the future or am I better off cutting my losses entirely and move on? I’m torn because I have always believed that three chances is too many, but I genuinely did see this guy as someone I could spend my life with. If anyone has any advice for me or thinks I’m going about it the right way, I’d appreciate the thoughts.
Thanks!
Short answer is don’t try again. This guy will break your heart all over again. It’s not worth the suffering. During the break ups you guys did not change enough. That means this time will be the same. There is a chance on getting back together but that possibility brings the next break up. If you are willing to go through this again, just get back with him.
That is not a relationship anymore. That is called a game. I suggest you keep up your no contact until you don’t feel the need of him to be happy. After that do what makes you feel better. You can even give it another try but at least you will be sure that there is live after the next break up.
leidy1000 has made some good points, but where I disagree is that you can’t try if he doesn’t want to… I also answered in your other post on the No Contact Rule. Jealousy and arguments will push a guy away. Also 2 breakups within a year isn’t good at all and like leidy1000 said, even if he decided to get back with you, the chance of another breakup is very high! And I think it’s immature to say this was a guy you could see this guy as someone you could spend your life with if he didn’t see it too. He made a firm comment as “it won’t work”. Take him at his word. So don’t contact him and focus your energy on building a better life for yourself, like you said. I’m sorry this happened, but you will get through it. Grieve and then get back up and live your life:) Best wishes.