I’ve been doing NC for a week now and the wound of the break up is still hurting. I’m scared that she’s going to realize that she is better and less stressed without me in her life. This Anybody ever had this issue and it turned out to be true??
NC is for your own healing. If your ex has even a slightest idea of reconciliation, she will reach you out. Otherwise, you really have no control over her decision making.
The breakup will of course hurt, the pain of rejection associated with breakup mirrors of a physical pain. Only time and your effort will make you move forward, that is why you need to stick with NC. Be pro-active in your life, don’t just sit around and think about what your ex may be doing all day long (no stalking either).
Ghost that’s my problem…
When I get home and go on my laptop all I do is look at her twitter seeing what she’s posting. All she ever posts up are retweets/tweets about walking away, my memory left with the wind, to hell with valentines day etc. Normally it’s about me, and it kills me on the inside seeing that.
You already know what you gotta do. Gather your courage and just do it. Block her on twitter and any other social media accounts that you know she’s on. Whatever you may see there will only mess with your head. It is no good for you.
Believe me. If your ex wants you back, she will contact you with that purpose. So there is no point in keeping tabs on her. It will only set your progress back. Counting those NC days will be meaningless as NC isn’t about your ex, it’s about your mental health and metaphorically your independence war against your ex.
I already know what I should be doing and what changes I need to make. I already checked myself into a cognitive behavior group at school to help me with my anger and insecurity issues. It’s what led up to our break up in the 1st place.
But she’s probably so peaceful without me, without having to deal with all that baggage. I feel like I’ll never get a chance to show her i’m changing.
I just feel like i’m in a bad place at the moment. I have this knot on my throat as I write this post, this whole process hurts.
I agree with ghost about NC being for you but when I went through a really rough break up a few years ago and was having a hard time with NC, I printed out a calendar and every day that I managed to go without contacting him I marked of with a big ‘X’. That may not exactly be counting down NC but I remember it gave me a sense of satisfaction each time I could cross off another day. Then you can look back and see how strong you were for not contacting them as the 'x’s build up 
Unfortunately I carried on that trend of marking off days just in general so its lost the ability to make me feel a little more empowered with this current break up but I suggest you try it and who knows, maybe after you’ve got a steady pattern of days marked off, you won’t even feel the need to reach the end of NC and just work on yourself instead.