After 30 days NC, text sent and got a reply...but still need help and advice!

So done no contact for more than 30 days and it wasn’t easy at all, so i feel im ready to contact my ex now, it took me ages to think of the first text to send, i made sure i didn’t want to rush it as i wanted it to be right first text to send. i made sure it was short but to the point of something i was doing that reminded me of him and something we used to do (a good memory) but added a question in there so i could get an answer back with also hope your doing well at the end. He didn’t reply straight away and i thought that’s it, he doesn’t care and want to speak to me and my text means nothing to him, the worse thing was it was my birthday couple days before i sent my text and i got no happy birthday greeting from him so made me think he wouldn’t bother to reply to this text.But then out of no where he replied took him 5 days but he did, it was a positive reply but im just stuck! now i didn’t want to seem keen so i haven’t replied back yet but also i don’t know what to reply back to keep the conversation going if it is going to that is. i need some help on how to proceed next and some advice if im doing it all right, would really appreciate the help!

Well congratulations! You got a reply. So the next response you send should be one of a warm friendly nature. No rush at this stage to lock anything down.

Just reply back after this weekend saying, something like “Lovely to hear from you the other day, I’d like to meet up at some point with you and (mutual friends here) for a drink”.

Note that you don’t say when or where at this stage. And it’s not a “date”, as you’re including mutual friends. So he should feel un-threatened by this. Just send it and wait for a reply. He’ll either take the bait and say yes, or be non committal or not reply at all! So wait a week if you don’t get the reply you want and then text him again, reminding him that you’d like to get together, and when would be good? Maybe one night after work as Christmas is coming up?

The idea is to be cool and seemingly laid back about the whole idea.

Good luck!

I will have to disagree with @killerheels you haven’t spoken to him since NC aND he responded positively jst respond friendly also, DO NOT ask to meet up. It’s too soon. he could read that wrong. and say no with an excuse or say yes then cancel later. you don’t know where his mindset it so don’t set yourself up for a possible rejection yet. just text bak things like how have you been how was thanksgiving black Friday just talk about neutral general topics nothing personal yet.

you guys have been together for about 7 years you said right so you know wat usually happens around this time… like one thing I did was “oh does your mom still take you guys for early black Friday shopping and you spend the whole day shopping ? lol” and we talked about that for quite sometime cause he could complain. about that to mii and we made jokes so things like that.

Starlight, read my post again. The key here is … “at some point”.

OP is testing the water to see if he’s going to respond favorably to meeting her in a group setting with friends.

OP is also not asking for anything definite. It’s up to him to respond favorably or not. Making small talk via text chat is akin to “gnatting” at this stage. It’s too obvious and might just piss him off… Remember, most boys don’t over analyse anyway.

Thank you for the reply and advice back @killerheels i did think that asking to meet up was abit soon i want to slowly get back to talking to him first before asking that, but when that time comes i will consider what you have said.
Thank you @starlight for your reply back and advice i did think this but nice to be told some stuff to know im doing the right thing.
I did go ahead and message him back but did wait a day and so we have been talking everyday so far which is really good im just making sure my texts are just right before sending which i didnt used to but as i dont want send anything to emotional, im being confident and just being me as i know him very well but im making sure not to ask to much and hoping he asked me more stuff ( he did ask me about my recent trip away which i didnt think he knew about but probably saw it on facebook but i thought it hid my timeline away but seems he hasnt, a good sign right but then again its only facebook) and it seems to be going well but its hard to read signs over texts to really know what hes thinking and does he really want to keep messaging me or is he being polite for now i guess its probably to soon to tell.

@killerheels sry if I misunderstood. I was just saying it’s better not to even take about hanging out right now. they just started talking again. you don’t want to come off as desperate and that that’s all you want. if he brings it up then that’s fine cause that’s a good sign cause he broke it up but as the one who wanted to Stay she shouldn’t. he should come to her… it’s too soon… @heartbroken Np! I’m glad it’s going good! yes it’s too soon to judge if he is being polite or make any predications so just keep up what you are doing! sounds like he kept tabs;) this is good. cause he asked you about it. I think that’s a really good sign!

Hi, @starlight thanks for the positivity, I hope it was a good sign but i feel thats the only little sign Ive had from him we have been speaking for the last 5 days no constant texting like we used to do but i know that wouldn’t happen, he hasn’t really asked as much as I have been but then he still has asked somethings to keep the conversation flowing but I dont know if its me over thinking things but he replies back like hours later after ive messaged him so ive been doing the same waiting to reply back and not straight away from getting the text should i be doing that? But now Ive been waiting a day for his reply back what does that mean? because even if he was busy and if you wanted to talk to someone you would find the time to message them quickly so to me thats a sign he doesn’t want to, maybe i freaked him out with the texting already and hes probably thinking why am i texting all of a sudden, i know its wrong to over look things and think to much into but don’t i need be looking at the signs to know what to do with them. any ideas on what i should do?

I decided to re send the text I wrote, he replied saying I got your text twice did you not get my reply to it? So he replied in the end, I was wrong. My phone sometimes doesn’t always get messages through but mostly sometimes my texts don’t send but so annoying as I don’t need these things to happen with him as I don’t wanna keep asking if he got my text look to needy even though it’s my phone fault.