I frequently check to see if my boyfriend has tweeted or if he’s changed his profile picture on Facebook again. Sadly I have gone as far as refreshing my Instagram feed to see if he’s liked a girl’s photo or followed someone new as well. I’ve realized that when I come across something I was hoping I wouldn’t see I can’t help feeling confused and more upset.
Should I stop the social media stalking or is it good for me to see this? I can’t help feeling it could all be an act and he knows I’m creeping his feed and wants me to see that he’s living it up. I believe he is still thinking about me and he isn’t completely over me. But seeing this stuff is hard, and I feel like I’m losing my path to feeling happy and confident. I know that if I don’t succeed soon at changing myself I’m only hurting my chances at winning him back. I would really like to know what other people’s opinions are on this. Is social media lurking good or bad? If it’s bad, how can your prevent yourself? Also I don’t thinking deleting or blocking them is the right move. Help!
Lurking is not good. It will cause you to imagine things that may not be factual. It takes will power and determination to resist and stop looking. If you aren’t able to do that, think about deleting or blocking. Maybe concentrate more on family and friends. If you want to make changes in yourself, do that too.
Best wishes…
Social media is such a terrible addition (and addiction) to make us feel even more insecure about ourselves.
My advice to you: don’t delete or block if you aim is to have him in your life again. He’ll know something is up and believe you have hatred on him.
I can’t exactly tell if he’s a committed boyfriend or someone you just call boyfriend because you said, “I believe he is still thinking about me and he isn’t completely over me” and “I’m only hurting my chances at winning him back.” As for now, you have to give him the impression you two are friends. Remember, he believes he isn’t attached to you, and that’s because he feels he has control, he can come and go as he pleases.
You have to turn the table around and take control. If you ever feel the need to lurk, try you best to dive in unphased. Pray before lurking if you need.
Regardless of whether you catch something that disturbs you or not, I say let it soak for 10 seconds, then quickly log out and do something different like watch a movie or play guitar or cook for an hour.
Understand that you have to take care of yourself first. Remember social media only counts for a small percentage of who he truly is, and who you truly are.
I’m only saying what I say out of self experience.
Self restoration is key.