Hi Guys thanks for reading and i appreciate any advice, kind of feel like i’m losing my mind a little bit.
So a brief overview of the back history and then ill go in to recent.
I finally met someone after a few awful relationships last feb, she was a close friend who there had always been a spark with. we ended up falling passionately in love where it became quite intense actually. to the point i struggled to cope with how deep i fell for her and started reacting bad when drinking alcohol. I felt like she would reject me and i would lash out drunk and say she didn’t love me etc. so October arrives, i tell her i am madly in love with her and i want to make it work. we try and she breaks it off in January after she went on a ate behind my back, during the times between feb and October i would go to house drunk, im not proud of this and acted a bit crazy. never physically.
so fast forward the past few months, i have been dealing with the death of my mother and wanted to try and make things work with her, she was there the day i received the news and was their through it all. we continued to see each other all be it never official, recently she has been very distant and lashing out at me but constantly telling me she loves and adores me but not sure she can get over the past, i had stopped drinking and this week she told me she started talking to a new guy, yet sleeps with me and tells me she loves me on Wednesday. we attend a mutual friends drinks and flaunts in front of me with the new guy. so i drink again and turn up at her house and she is now completely shutting me out.
Its obvious i need to work on dealing with my emotions drunk, but how can she say she loves me then goes home with another guy.
sorry its so long and thanks
@Jburg32 - Sorry to say, but you both sound immature and young. Apparently neither of you are able to handle a relationship or even be a good partner!! Excessive drinking has something to do with it, but underlying character issues on her side are problematic. While she’s involved with another guy, stay away from her and don’t communicate with her at all. Her words don’t match her actions and only serve to confuse you. This is NOT a good match. You seem to have no self control of your emotions and behaviors.
If you have a drinking problem, attend AA. If you have no control over your impulses, get therapy.
Sorry, but as long as you both have serious problems, this relationship will crash and burn repeatedly. It just WON’T work in the long run. You both have to be able to talk about the issues and resolve them, in order to make each other happy, be good partners, and thereby have a stable relationship. But that doesn’t seem realistic at this time the way things are.
Time and whatever you each do to improve yourselves will determine what happens.
Good luck…
I do love a brutally honest assessment. thats not sarcastic either.
I am 35 and agree a lot of it seems to be very childish and sad in some respects that i have never felt this way about someone.
She messaged me last night and said she was scared and could not sleep, to which i called to reassure her, as we all have a plan when we talk to an ex, that plane went out the window.
I told her i cared about here and did things our of love and frustration, she said why say care you know you love me.
I agree i need to work a bit on my demons and see where we end up after that.
Thanks
@Jburg32 - It seems you both have some “demons” to work on.
Wishing you the best that you resolve them…
So developments of the weekend. She has called both nights Wednesday and Thursday night asking to seee me because she misses me.
She was drunk.
@Jburg32 - Maybe you both have a drinking problem. Don’t agree to see her. I don’t see anything changing for the better as long as you both have your own personal issues…