A unique situation

no-contact-rule
1

So this is different and I will try to keep it short.

We started dating in January, she and her child moved in with me in Febuary as she relocating back here from another city and couldn’t afford a place on her own. So I bit the bullit and allowed them to move in, I had a really good feeling about this one. Keep in mind I am really used to all the private time I need since I don’t date to much. This will come into play later.

We lasted all the way up till mid August, overall it went well no arguments although there probably should have been as we are both passive aggressive.
She told me she had fallin in love with me back in June maybe early July. I have difficulty expressing my feelings so I told her I wasn’t quite there yet. I know from that point on our relationship was on a slight decline.

We did less stuff together and I found myself craving some alone time, because like I said earlier I had all of the time I needed and none now.

So the strange thing is I really bonded with her 2 year old boy, he is so precious and special it really became a big part of my life. This will be the hardest thing when we break up.

We break up in mid August, it was a more or less mutual decision but more mine since I said it first. Unfortunately this happens over text as she was out of town visiting family 900 miles away. We didn’t really discuss this afterwards and we really should have. Passive aggressive remember!!!

So I ask if I can still watch her boy when she works and what nots because we really bonded and she was glad I wanted to because I was his favorite person as she says and a good father for him, real dad not involved at all.

So I watch him most every weekend and it melted her heart when she dropped him off because he was so happy to be with me. So obviously no contact rule did not apply so nice we arranged for supervision times.

Now initially I was totally fine with the break up, I was preoccupied with fixing up my house and other various projects I had going on. I was glad I was still the primary male influence in her boys life and it seemed right. I was beginning to come around and was thinking about my ex and was about to see if we should rekindle the relationship. Basically that day I discovered she was seeing someone else. I was devastated after knowing this. Based off of what I see on Facebook she seems to really be into this guy… How she has time to date a guy between school and work and parenting is beyond me. They started dating less then 2 weeks after we broke up.

2 1/2 months later they are still dating. My babysitting time is dwindling as well.

So does she like me still at all I wonder or she putting all her eggs in one basket with this guy?

Anyone with any thoughts on this would be much appreciated.

Some info:
I am 35
She is almost 30 now
New guy is barely 25 and in the Air Force
I feel like starting a family now and would love to be a father for her child and even have one myself now.

My feelings for her grew stronger for her after the break up. She is all I think about now.

Do any of you think this rebound relationship has a chance?

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@Giggitygoo , Sorry to hear of your sad situation. I’m assuming she has her own place. It might be a rebound, but only time will tell. She’s been dating the Air Force guy for 2 1/2 months and as they get more emotionally involved, she might move in with him. Is it at all possible that she used you for support or that she’s using him? I understand getting attached to a small child, but don’t let that influence your feelings or lack of honest feelings for her. People seem to want what they can’t have and I hope that’s not your unconscious motivation. This might sound hard, but imagine yourself living together again and getting upset that you don’t have freedom and the peace and quiet you’re accustomed to… If you feel strongly about rekindling the relationship, you could have a heart to heart talk with her next time you see her. Another alternative instead of waiting for her, is to think about dating some nice ladies and perhaps falling deeply in love and then getting married and having a child of your own.
Wishing you the best whatever you decide to do…

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Thank you @patricia12 for your thoughts, like I said kind of a unique situation huh?? I have been back and forth with this whole deal. I never once thought she was just using me for a place to live while she was with me. But recently I have thought about that scenario. I do feel my feelings are genuine, I miss her boy more and more and have visions of being his dad. Other then her political views and abundance of tv watching she was really good. I didn’t know what I had till it was gone. Took it for granted I guess you could say. I more or less should opted for a break/ timeout kind of deal and maybe living separately. I don’t know. Any thoughts on me still watching her boy… And the possibility of being with Air Force guy who is almost 5 years younger? Air Force guys as I know them are only in it for one thing.

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@Giggitygoo, What a funny name, lol.If you continue watching her son, she might or might not come to think of you as only “the babysitter”. Yeah, 2 year olds are darling! I know you care deeply for her boy, but the longer you babysit, the more attached you will become to him and the harder it will be to let go if your ex moves on. A guy 5 years younger is no big deal at all. And as an Air Force guy, he’s probably more mature than other guys his age. Also a man in the Air Force would have a stable comfortable life style to offer a woman. Normally I would say don’t interfere with a woman that’s in a relationship, but since your feelings are sincere, you want to marry her and have a family together, maybe you should have a talk with her. The other guy might get very upset if she leaves him, but maybe not if they’re not so serious yet. So what are you going to do?

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Idk, it appears like it might be nearing a serious phase. It just surprises me that a 5 year younger guy would want anything to do with a single mom. You don’t hear of that very often. Hell if only dads would stick around for their own kids. Anyways I did tell her my thoughts n feelings on Friday, she was appreciative of what I said but really didn’t say anything about her thoughts n feelings. So that in its own is probably enough evidence of where she’s at. I swear Air Force guys are going to be the death of me, this is like the 4th time. As much as I can’t stand to think of it I will probably have face the facts that Leo (her sons name) is not going to be in my life. It’s weird, kind of like choosing a puppy at the pound, I chose him and there isn’t anything I can do about it. But I had to hold true to myself and I couldn’t tell her I loved her until it was 100% sure. It’s an emotion you just can’t fake.