Hey I read your articles and they are fantastic. I really enjoyed them and they are good motivation. This is my story. I’m sorry if it’s long but I want to make sure you get everything. I’ll start from the very start…
So me and my girlfriend started a relationship in December 2016. We are both 17 years old. She was my first girlfriend. We clicked instantly and we really enjoyed our time together. Everything was great. She lives about 20-30 mins away from me in town as she lives just outside. With this obstacle and school we still seen each other at least 1 time a week on the weekend. Not very often I know but we made the most of it and it honestly never bothered us… Limited time meant we missed each other a lot but never let it stand in the way. As we got closer we got deeper. After 3 months she said she loved me, and I was thinking this way for a while too so I also said I loved her and we were really happy. We had our first fight all be it a small one around 3/4 months, this night she asked me specifically not to break up with her as she got worried and I told her I’d never do this ever. Evem though she worried way over the top here it brought me and her closer together. As time went on we started to talk about the future. First came living together, then marriage+kids and being together forever. We also agreed not to let anything stand In the way of us, we agreed to always fix our problems. She shared all these desires, in fact she brought them up first. Then came our summer holidays from school. We had 3 months to spend more regular time together and with out mutual friends (how we met). Around 6 month mark we started fighting more regularly, we had fights mostly small and the odd big one but we always resolved them, like we promised. A lot of our fights were because of times, as we have limited time I really tried to cram in as much as very possible which put her under unnecessary pressure which was stupid by me and I regret. I admit I suffocated her. I was always around her whilst out with our friends because I wanted to be with her the most. To be fair I admitted this was bad and I did improve it before the break up. I admit that I made a lot of mistakes. It was my first relationship and I for 1 had nothing to compare it too and for 2 it was very precious to me so it affected me in a bad way. I will tell you no lies that I attention seeked, was very insecure, was needy and clingy and tried to control her too much in the summer. I used to never be like that but something came over me and I lost my way. I told her how very wrong I was upon reflection and how I’d change. Anyway as I said I attnwtion seeked off of her. The day we broke up this is how it happened. After a silly fight on the phone I asked her in not a very serious way the morning of that day are you thinking of ending it to which she replied “no of course I’m not, I love you”. I was full on expecting her to say this. Then later on a hour or so later we was still kinda fighting but not very seriously. I then said to her “listen if you want to break up with me for your own happiness then I will accept that once you are happy, I don’t want to hold you back”. Of course I was expecting a reply like “don’t be silly of course that isn’t what I want I love you and never want to break up” etc. I only said this looming for attention to be 100% honest. But she said maybe we should then. I explained I was only looking for attention and I said sorry lots of times but she wouldn’t change her mind and said stuff like “I’m sorry, I still love you but I can’t” so after begging and pleading for a long hour or two I accepted it. Keep in mind all this happened on the phone. We didn’t talk fr 1 day and she contacted me asking how I was. She said “baby I honestly think it’s better for both of us not to be together right now, maybe in the future. I hope you still come out with our friends and I still love you”. So I gave her more space. 2 days passed and she was out with her friends and seemed to be having a great time. Then she agreed to meet up with me. I met her and things were emotional. We both cried nearly straight away and hugged each other. You can obviously see I mean something to her but anyway. I wrote her a list of thing I had time to reflect on and said I’ll change. I also told her some heartfelt things and reminder her of our good times… I told her don’t let 1 bad month ruin 6 good ones. Even in our bad month we still had lots of fun on our dates even tho we fought sometimes. And she still said “I’m sorry I’m not ready for a relationship right now, I need to be alone for now” (keep in mind she has very important exams this year and a very stressful hard working job at 17 so even tho this is a common excuse I do see logic in it to be fair) I asked when she is ready will my door be open and she said yes. She said she doesn’t prefer anyone else she just needs time alone without a relationship. She also said its nothing to do with me but I know I obviously acted in a really bad way and in my opinion I think o turned her off relationship. Anyway We hugged and left on really good terms and promised to be great friends.
So this is the story. My opinion is that yes I acknowledge my mistakes and yes I will promise to fix them but I think she is very confused. She can’t go saying I love you and calling me hubby (nicknames of mine) to breaking up with me in a hour. I think she made a rash decision. She said the day we met up and officially ended it she still loves me too. It was definitely not a honeymoon realtionship" as we went through bad times ad stuck it out and still loved each other ad had fun enjoyable times.
Anyway as I write this long message I was casually messaging her on snapcaht as friends the last 3 days since the breakup. All though to keep in touch it was always me who had to initiate the convo even tho she agreed to be very good friends. She also seemed kind of up and down between interested and disinterested in talking to me so I stopped talking to her and I have now started my first day of no contact. It’s been 24 hours since we talked. I have many questions I would like to ask you such as…
- Is there hope for the future? Obviously seems there is.
- Will she want me when she is ready again?
- Is there anything else I should do?
I have many more question but I’ll wait for a reply so I’ll hope you see this and reply! I also like to point out that I know things will be different this time and this is a relationship worth keeping! Thanks in advance.