Sorry if this gets long! I want to make sure I add necessary details. My ex and I have been together for about 2 years and were living together for the last year. He ended it about 7 weeks ago. Of course, strict no contact was impossible since we were living together, but I have done just awfully at trying to modify the no contact rule. Going to fully disclose, even though I’m embarrassed.
We’ve talked about the relationship and getting back together nearly everyday for 7 weeks. At first, he was very patient with it, but of course is now totally annoyed and fed up with talking. It become almost an obsessive-compulsive behavior for me to text, call, and talk about the break up/getting back together. I have also done plenty of begging. I also have done poorly at appearing happy and he sees me cry a lot. So, now I just appear desperate and needy! I’m very aware that I’m pushing him away and need to just give space, but like I said, it’s like an obsessive-compulsive behavior pattern I’m in. I’m really ashamed. I always talk myself into texting or calling. That I have to say that, or this time he’ll change his mind. Deep down, I know this isn’t correct or rational thinking.
He has said if I let it breathe and give him space, he’s willing to work on things after we don’t live together. This last week hasn’t gone great. I’m out of town and tried to stay in contact with him. He responds sometimes, but ignores me sometimes too. When I ask about working on us, he still says maybe but appears less interested. So I’m now in panic mode that I pushed him away to the point that he’s no longer interested in getting back together like he was before.
We finally move out of the apartment we share this weekend. Have I totally messed up or do I still have a shot at reconciling if I initiate the no contact rule now? Can the no contact rule still be effective after 7 weeks of constant communication?
Thanks in advance for any encouragement or words of wisdom. No contact is so necessary, but so hard!