5 years down the drain?

Hi Kevin!

My boyfriend of 5 years and I just recently took a break. But I was the one that initiated it. I got upset over an issue that’s been occurring since December and I told him “We’re done.” I regret saying that and letting my emotions getting the best of me. He’s still hurt that I tried to break up with him, and instead he insisted we take a “break”.

It’s been about a week since we started our break. I’m trying to establish the no contact rule. Although, he texted me on Sunday & I replied. Big no no. On Sunday I told him that we should just talk this Wednesday 4/13 for an hour. However, he got me really upset last night and I called him up to talk to him about what he wants to do. Breaks are confusing to me. I asked if he wants to try to fix things in our relationship, or breakup? He didn’t have an answer. I asked what he thought about our break. He said “It’s confusing, but he honestly felt free.” However, he said that he still wants to be with me?? The last thing he said was “I just need time away from you.” I shouldn’t have called him last night and that insisted to me we follow the no contact rule.

If he even does text me tomorrow asking if we’re still going to talk, should I still reply? If he just texted me saying “Hi” or “I miss you” I wouldn’t reply. But we had a plan on Sunday and then I really ruined it by calling him last night. Would it be rude to ignore his text and not let him plan his day out? If I do reply, I want say no, but how do I politely do that? I think he still needs time to figure things out and I need to be emotionally stable. If we’re on a break, how long should the no-contact rule last? For a breakup you recommend 30, but how about for a “break?”

In our 5 years of dating, he’s always been more of the chaser. This time, I’ve come to the conclusion to get him back and fix our relationship. How do I get him to want me back? Should I just tell him I’m doing good and follow all of the listed rules you gave? But I don’t want to lose him at the same time… A lot of the reasons why he was upset in our relationship was because I hardly saw him. I worked two jobs and had school, I warned him though that times might be a little tough for a bit. I asked last night when I made that regretful phone call if he’s been happy before in our relationship, and he said yes. However, does he honestly still have hope for us? If he does, I’m willing to do everything in my power to fix the problems together and make it work.

Hello,
So here’s the thing from a guys perspective, you work to jobs, I want to see the person I am madly in love with, I miss her and want to be near her but I can’t, so when you do set things up together do you break them or change your mind? Also the other thing is to if you really really want to go NC at minimum it should be 2 weeks, but if you are still in contact let him know you both should take one for yourselves, but if you want to repair things it would be good to know what happened or has been lingering?
Girls are different in the sense they can feel the emotional connection over a phone call or text, men are protectors and want to be around the one they love to make her feel safe and wanted, it’s natural and who we are.
So question remains what has been the issue since December?