3 Months and I still miss him- Please Help!

reconciliation
1

Okay I am going to apologise now because this is a long story but I will keep it as brief as possible.

Me and my ex were together for a year, We were in the middle of booking a trip at the end of this year to Mexico (his decision- he was pushing me to do it) I had also received concert tickets for us to go to in 8 months time for my xmas gift, we were also away on a long weekend together in Feb when I noticed things had gotten a tad rocky were I asked if he was still interested cause i didn’t like the way he was acting with me, shouting and snapping at me.

He told me that he was sorry and that he really loves me and that he was just frustrated with his job and that he was sorry he was taking it out on me. He then started to cry a little and say that he wants to be better that he doesn’t want to break up with me we left it at that and had an amazing couple of days…5 days later just before valentines day he says he’s not sure about us anymore that he needed to focus on himself, then turns up at my house with my stuff after I said he can’t call it quits over the phone.

Since the break up I have done everything I can to try figure things out; to this day I still don’t know why we ended, we were good together we hardly ever fought and if we did we were over it within minutes. He told me he missed me but still didn’t know then he spoke to his friends- who i never met and then he decided he knew we should be broken up.

He would call me just to have a chat with me acting as if nothing had ever happened- then i decided i needed to get away for a few days so i went to visit friends but he asked if i could meet him when i was back so we could talk. While i was away i never texted him i did however send a Snapchat accidentally to him saying i was looking forward to my trip to Oz, the next day he decided that he didn’t want to see me anymore and thought it would be stupid to talk anymore because he was never going to change his mind. He then kept making up excuses for the break up and when I called him up on it he would say okay maybe not then, I felt as if he was trying to push me away and said he didn’t love me- I was broken after that couldn’t bare to say another word to him.

I felt as if he was lying about our whole relationship or that he was lying now to hurt me.

A few weeks went by and I was hurting so bad so a changed my flights and left for oz- He found out so we were talking again- Stupidly we also met up and then slept together a few times before i left. Eventually i started to notice again he was acting like we weren’t broken up and asking for my advice and joking about my family- they are intense people. It felt great but i knew there was something wrong he seemed sad so i asked- I wish i never, he just turned around and goes nothing is wrong with me I’m just not going to talk to you like my girlfriend you are not my girlfriend. Again when i started the NC rule he got annoyed and deleted my on every social media site and had a go at me as i was boarding my flight to Oz for the month. While i was there he never spoke to me for the month.

Within a week of me being back we were talking again- He was looking for my supported and i gave it to him. He told me he was so thankful that i was there for him and that he was sorry for what happened. It looked like we getting back to being friends again then we were supposed to meet one day and he just blew me off and has ignored me ever since. This was 3/4 weeks ago, i tried just saying random things to initiate a convo but nothing. SO once again I haven’t spoken to him for 2 weeks, It hurts me everyday.

The thing is he is ignoring my texts but he is still keeping informed on my life, he readded me on Snapchat and checks all my stories. Now for someone who won’t reply to my texts out of choice why does he check to see what i am doing.

When we broke up everyone said this isn’t him even his parents, they told me to give him space and make him realise he’s made a mistake- its been 3 months and i’ve cried everyday and everyday i wish he would just talk to me and be there for me again- i want to be in his life, i love him.

Can someone please help me

NC rule just doesn’t help he doesn’t respond to it. I know he got scared because we were getting serious but i was happy with where we were i didn’t want any more or any less from him. We were so happy and so chilled out as a couple, he was always there to fight my corner and so was I. We joked about kids we would have and the silly names he would call them. He even bickered over what breed of dog we wanted first. 3 days before he ended it he told me he loved me and would have gotten me the dog i wanted in the end as long as i came on a ski holiday with him…

It doesn’t make sense to me all i feel is that he got scared that i was starting to pull away at his snapping so he ended it so i couldn’t

I really hope i can get some advice to help me get him back i’ve tried everything and i love him and i am not an emotional person he was and now i feel so weak because after 3 months surely i should have moved on.

Please please help

Thank you

2

I really can’t explain but I want you to search up in Google. Put “understanding men by a new mode” the site should be anewmode dot com. It helped me understand more of why my boyfriend grew apart from me. I’m sorry I didn’t get to finish reading your story for me to fully understand, but what I read is what I been through. My boyfriend was really lost. He had been stressing out over double jobbing, fixing his car, and other things.

When you go to that site, I want you to not only read that article but at the end of that article you’ll find PINK colored links that will relate to your situations. Read them. They helped me a lot. It’s actually very calming to me for me to understand.

Reading articles from that site and others helped me stay calm and made NC bearable and of course keeping myself busy by going out with friends and going gym.

3

This isn’t just a guy thing. My girlfriend of four years did pretty much the same thing. Her family loved me, and contacted me saying they felt she made a mistake, etc. We failed at NC at first, both of us almost trying like nothing happened, then went NC, and then teetered along the friendship line, but eventually it all ends up being NC anyway, not because you’re trying, but because you’re living separate lives and no longer want to concern the other with the inanities that are your every day life (Just as you wouldn’t with most other friends). Sure, they’ll check in from time to time (and you’re welcome to do the same, occasionally), but you’re going to be sorely mistaken when you immediately think “Reconciliation!” every time you get a notification from him (believe me, I’ve been there).

Some people need a dynamic life. They may be happy and comfortable in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want change. This is why these sorts of breakups always involve a degree of uncertainty/confusion on the part of the breakup-er, and a shattered world on the part of the breakup-ee.

Do you for a while, and let him do him for a while. He might realize that you were actually really good together, and seek you out for a second chance. However, continuing to bother him about this breakup is just going to drive him further away. Just step back and let life take it’s course.

I’m not pushing fate or fortune here, but since you’ve already had a relationship with him, I wouldn’t hesitate to say “It will happen, if it’s meant to be.” Basically, there will probably be a time in your life when you reconnect, and if neither of you have found any worthwhile SO’s by that time, you’ll have a good shot at another relationship. Patience is key; “Good things come to those who wait.”

4

Thank you!

Yes I have been on that site and loads of others just getting a tad hopeless but thank you i’ll give it another go see whats on there.

I completely get giving us space thats what the last 3 months have mainly been but when i contact him for something important e.g. i need the concert tickets so i can make plans to get there he ignores me.

I Just can’t help but feel he is hurting me on purpose as if i did something to hurt him.

He starts his new job next week and it involves training in another city, i just want to be on good terms cause i want nothing more to be with him even though he has broken my heart over and over again.