14 Days No Contact-ish

no-contact-rule
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So I’m at 14 days of no contact, but yesterday my ex (we were together 14 months) texted me. He’d seen that there was a shooting in downtown Austin & asked if my family was all ok. I told him yes, thank you, and that was the end of the convo. Friday he liked a post of mine on Facebook.

I started no contact 4 days after our breakup. The only contact we had before then was this stupidly long e-mail I sent him apologizing for my behavior (I was jealous of a friend of his’) and trying to explain to him some things he brought up that I thought he’d misinterpreted. And frankly, trying to convince him that we should stay together. He wrote back a few days later saying he wasn’t ready to respond to my e-mail, sorry, but he didn’t want me to think he never got it. I wrote back that there was no need to respond, that I needed time to move past this, but maybe we could talk later in the summer. He responded a couple of hours later saying that he just didn’t want me to think that HE thought I needed to be apologizing for all the stuff I did in that e-mail, and that talking later this summer sounded good. The next I heard from him was the text yesterday.

I don’t want to keep up hope if there is none: does this behavior sound promising or not? I still have a bunch of his stuff, we still have each others’ keys (when he broke up with me I asked if he wanted me to mail him his stuff & he said no), but maybe he’s just too busy? He has his son in town for another week & I know has been busy. Just asking the board if they think:

  1. Have I handled my communications with him appropriately?
  2. What is your take on his contact with me?

Thanks! This has been brutally hard on me.

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Oh i’m in your same boat! Although i think i handled the break up more poorly… I begged and pleaded, got angry, got sad, got horny, go sad, got angry etc…we were living together too and so he moved out…he still has a few things that he’s slowly getting out…He kept wanting to see me when he was getting his things and i kept getting upset when i would see him. so i had to tell him that i needed time and space and that i couldn’t see him. So I believe i’m at 15 days NC and he’s still messaging here and there. I had to speak to him on the phone the other day and he told me that he was happy to hear from me etc.

I think from what you’ve said that you’ve handled it well…I would revisit that letter maybe too though and think about ‘was it all really your fault’? I know that i took on so much guilt after the break up and apologised profusely…but since i’ve realised we both made mistakes along the way, and thats what lead us to our undoing.

I am pretty clueless about him contacting…because i’m in the same boat. My girlfriends refer to it as mind f**kery…Because it really screws with your head. I think just respond politely out of necessity…As in, if its irrelevant you don’t really need to respond. He may have been wanting to text you, and figured that was a good reason to?

Stick with it…I feel like we’re at about the same stage of NC :slight_smile: