14 Days No Contact-ish

So I’m at 14 days of no contact, but yesterday my ex (we were together 14 months) texted me. He’d seen that there was a shooting in downtown Austin & asked if my family was all ok. I told him yes, thank you, and that was the end of the convo. Friday he liked a post of mine on Facebook.

I started no contact 4 days after our breakup. The only contact we had before then was this stupidly long e-mail I sent him apologizing for my behavior (I was jealous of a friend of his’) and trying to explain to him some things he brought up that I thought he’d misinterpreted. And frankly, trying to convince him that we should stay together. He wrote back a few days later saying he wasn’t ready to respond to my e-mail, sorry, but he didn’t want me to think he never got it. I wrote back that there was no need to respond, that I needed time to move past this, but maybe we could talk later in the summer. He responded a couple of hours later saying that he just didn’t want me to think that HE thought I needed to be apologizing for all the stuff I did in that e-mail, and that talking later this summer sounded good. The next I heard from him was the text yesterday.

I don’t want to keep up hope if there is none: does this behavior sound promising or not? I still have a bunch of his stuff, we still have each others’ keys (when he broke up with me I asked if he wanted me to mail him his stuff & he said no), but maybe he’s just too busy? He has his son in town for another week & I know has been busy. Just asking the board if they think:

  1. Have I handled my communications with him appropriately?
  2. What is your take on his contact with me?

Thanks! This has been brutally hard on me.

Oh i’m in your same boat! Although i think i handled the break up more poorly… I begged and pleaded, got angry, got sad, got horny, go sad, got angry etc…we were living together too and so he moved out…he still has a few things that he’s slowly getting out…He kept wanting to see me when he was getting his things and i kept getting upset when i would see him. so i had to tell him that i needed time and space and that i couldn’t see him. So I believe i’m at 15 days NC and he’s still messaging here and there. I had to speak to him on the phone the other day and he told me that he was happy to hear from me etc.

I think from what you’ve said that you’ve handled it well…I would revisit that letter maybe too though and think about ‘was it all really your fault’? I know that i took on so much guilt after the break up and apologised profusely…but since i’ve realised we both made mistakes along the way, and thats what lead us to our undoing.

I am pretty clueless about him contacting…because i’m in the same boat. My girlfriends refer to it as mind f**kery…Because it really screws with your head. I think just respond politely out of necessity…As in, if its irrelevant you don’t really need to respond. He may have been wanting to text you, and figured that was a good reason to?

Stick with it…I feel like we’re at about the same stage of NC :slight_smile: