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Hi AZ, Glad to have you back here. I remember those days when you were my most supportive cheerleader during my darkest moments. I’m sorry that I aint good at expressing about your situation now, however I just want you to know that I’m cheering and praying for you in everything you’re going to undertake.
Yeah Whena, I enjoy reading this post now, kinda liften up my mood a little too. More upbeat and positivity.
Hi guys, sorry for the late reply. Had a week of hectic work and crazy partying.
Dara
Well, I guess you’ve got some good looks going on too. Haha. Yeah man, I’ve got some good partying moments and had some ego boost this weekend too. I do get what you mean, even after getting their numbers, you didn’t even wanna call them the next day. Haha… It sure is some good technique to elevate my ego and confidence. Only thing weird was that out of a sudden, I had dream about my ex came back to me after realizing that I’m still the best for her after all these while. Hahaha… Still half hearted about such a situation if it ever comes true.RAED
Yup, thats right, its me the one who got shitfaced. Hahaha… Its the first time ever I could “harm’ myself bodily and damn, she didn’t give any concern about it. Yeah man, I totally agree with you and it only took me less than a week to realize that my rebound aint even close to my ideal/acceptable type of girl. She’s good wifey type material, but has no other goals in life except me, saying she wanna marry me after a week of dating. Oh man, this definitely made me run fast and far. I’m beginning to feel the high level of clinginess and neediness and its not something I could hold on to for long. Guess when I was needy after the break up, I ‘attracted’ someone of the same short too. Just got to know that she broke up with her ex two months ago.Well, sometimes some guys are good looking or they just got the luck. Remember me saying about my rebound? It felt good to have someone liking me after my break up, kinda ego boost, yet after one week of being together, I’m beginning to feel that its a bad idea as she is very needy, feels like she is in the same ‘vibration’ as I am after my break up. Guess people of the same vibration will attract one another? I’m beginning to feel that I got into a relationship too soon and for the wrong reasons. Hence its back to full pledge single hood. Hahaha… Till now, its been 5 months since my ex broke up with me, 3 months since my last contact, 2 months since she ignored me while I got shitfaced at the club she was at and even reached out to her for some help, and all I got was only a text from her a few days ago that she was asking for some of her stuff back. I was at least hoping like a “how are you” message first before asking for her stuff. Was I wrong to even expect a greeting message first instead of anything else?? Some times I just wanna forget her, yet its been hard to do so man… Although I’m still in NC, it feels like I’m back to square one missing her and thinking of how life would be now if we had still been together. Has anyone had similar situations before and what did you do about it? Any thoughts/comments would be great. Thanks guys.
Yeah Daniel, I totally agree with you. Best part is my ex removed herself emotionally before I even started and still continued to hang out with me while slowing pushing away whereas I was trying to pull myself towards her. End of the day, she made it seem like I was at fault for not making the effort, when its all because you didnt want the relationship, yet how do you expect me to treat you specially like how I would as to a gf? Sometimes these girls dont even understand themselves.
Yeah RAED and Whena, I believe thats more of the hatred mechanism in me right now. Not much of the love as I dont wanna be hurt this way ever again, yet I hated how she could break up with me when she said I was the type of man she want to marry. Damn lies. And yeah, I’m pretty much bitter just like how RAED is feeling and still it will be gone some day. Just annoyed how things that she said before which I held on seriously didnt mean to matter at the end of the day.
Thanks Dara.
Yeah Dara, shit happens all the time and glad to know we are in the same shit. LOL. Lets work hard and get our ex to regret mane… Hahaha…
Yeah, she felt like I neglected her because I couldnt spend more time with her. But I’m just making sure I would be in good shape to provide for her in future, damn cost of living is raising like crazy during the past few years. Yeah, during the end I was kinda cold towards her as we were still hanging together and doing what a couple would but without the status. I continued to give her the gf privileges till I couldn’t do it anymore as she slowly distanced herself emotionally, felt like a riding aid till she found someone new and damn she did.
Yeah, it feels kinda unfair to the new girl at the moment as I’m still thinking of my ex occasionally, yet I’m just going with the flow. I tried and did all things to win her back, but her wall was high as the sky and cold as Pluto. I was treated like I’ve never existed anymore.
And the best part was when I got shitfaced outside a club where she happened to be at on her birthday, she didnt even care jackshit about me when I called her saying I needed some help. That was like the first time ever in my life that I reach out for help mane. To think about it, when two strangers would even come over to ask me if I’m alright and helped me up a cab, WTF did I do that my ex couldn’t even show the slightest humane sympathy when the night before, I even baked a cake and bought her a gift. Is that even normal??
HI Guys, I’ve been seeing your conversations for the past few days and Dara, I’ve got to say we’ve got the same situation. Shes 22 and I’m 33 and I’ve got nothing now either and damn that bitch couldn’t wait. Yeah Dara, I’ve also kinda used my hatred to motivate myself to work even harder. Even now there is someone whom likes me and I kinda got into a relationship with her, it feels like a rebound occasionally and yet she is really a wonderful girl that I know she is one who would stay with me during both the good and bad. Kinda an ego and confident boost at the same time. Whena, its been 5 months since my ex broke up with me even when I was working hard for our future, (my working weekdays are overseas and I could only meet up with her during weekends) and yes I still love her somewhat deep inside even though I’m with my current gf. Part of me still loves her and wanna be with her yet there is fear that if we get back together, she could leave me again and hatred that she abandoned me. Even after 5 months, my ex still pops up on my mind daily and I am wondering how she is although I know she is happy with her new thing and I’m still trying hard to make peace with the fact that we could never be together again. Damn emotional stuffs are hella complicated man.
You’re welcome everyone.
Leslie, you have taken the very first huge step which is to identify and realize the issue you’re facing. Like what everyone mentioned in this website, that we are all important in our own ways. What I did was to get myself to believe that and my steps to improving myself must based on the fact that, not for our ex or future partner, but for own good, to heal ourselves inside out.
There are always two sides to view a situation. In my case, my business wasn’t doing well and my ex left me. As a guy, failure in both couldn’t be any worse. Initially I was upset and blamed life for all these happening to me. I was desperate and reached out for anyone and any thing I could get my hands on. As time passes, despite how many friends consoled me, it is only I who can help myself. And its also this time when new business opportunities came knocking. As one door closes, another will open. Some times I enjoy watching Steve Jobs graduation speech at Stanford University. It brings some truth about connecting the dots.
I’m currently reading this book “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin and it has brought me to see things in a new light, new perspective. Till this day, although I’ve been on a couple dates and I have accepted the fact that I might never be with my ex again, I am still going to take the risk as whenever I’m out on dates, I wish it had been her beside me. There are many girls out there, some are prettier than her or better than her in certain aspect, yet she had been the only one who captured my heart. After all, there’s only one of this girl in this world. Yet at the same time, I am going to continue working on myself to regain the self confidence I once had and bring myself to greater heights. I hope this could give you some inspiration and faith to get stronger.
Have faith in yourself. Some times you’ve got to take the giant leap to find out what is on the other side and to your surprise, it could be something even better. If you do read the book, feel free to share along your insights along the way. It would be a good sharing session as well.
Stay Strong. I’m cheering for all of you.
Hi sxox, he could he going through a ton on his mind right now and the mind is a complex result of his past encounters. Youve got to work on yourself first, find your self worth, understand yourself. Be the attractive you once more. Stay strong.
Yeah Daniel, I totally get how you feel man. I’m having my fair share of regrets and wish I could turn back time. Well I aint sure the type of situation youre in, but some times we only have that one chance to make things right yet we missed it. (least that was my case and I wish I had a second chance). Yeah, we are just humans and we error, and its a continuous learning process from our mistakes.
Heard this from a drama and it felt so true:
Some times in life, what we do not see is more important than what we actually could see.
Hey Kevin, What’s up?? Sorry to hear what happened to you, but I guess we are all in the same boat. Like Khine, I also did the same thing and I ended up pushing her further away. And also when I met her during our training, I tried talking to her, but I guess I asked some of the wrong questions and I felt the coldness from her and guess I’ve got to start NC all over again and give her time and space in the mean time. I miss her dearly and she’s the first and last thing on my mind daily, but what to do?? We’ve got to let our brains control what we do for now as our emotions are messed up. So let your heart take a break and let the brain take over the helm.
BTW, on a side note, did anyone of you purchase relationship rewind?? Whats the difference between RR and the 5 steps? Or please provide any of your personal insight if you have purchased RR.
Thank you.
PS: I wish we could meet up for a coffee or something. Anyway, head out and have fun.
Hi Khine, I’m glad that youre looking at the bright side of things and getting yourself out there. As for the get fat thought, I would prefer to have a sexy hourglass figured girlfriend (thats coming from a guy’s perspective), however it is still up to personal preference, which is always very subjective. However I would suggest being yourself, be it fat or slim. Be the person you want to be for yourself and not for the sake of your ex. You’ve got to be happy with yourself inside out before you can bring happiness to others.
As for the FB thingy, try google for on how to select the functions. I believe its possible as I’ve done that before, but that was ages ago.
All the best in being yourself. We’re always here to support you. Oh yeah, you might want to take a pic before and after your change to see how you’ve transform over the period that you’ve set for yourself. Cheers. 🙂
Dear Kevin, Looks like we are pretty much on the same ship, just that for me, its that i started NC subconsciously, hence she thought that I was trying to cut off contact, which hurt her unintentionally, and now that she seems like she detest me like i’m a pest too. Well, I’m now on my 10th day of NC and I’ve got to meet her for a training which we signed up together, hence I’m pretty anxious now and fear I might just mess things up tomorrow. Sorry that I went off course a little. For me, I’m leaving it to faith whether if NC would cause her to move on or not. However first of all, there is definitely an underlying issue that caused our ex to have wanna leave us, an issue which we need to confront and overcome to be a person who is better in character and state of mind so that we could be once again recharged to shower love to our special one. There is definitely a reason why she accepted you to be her special one in the first place. Right now, I’m controlling my state of mind to bring me back into that scenario, to be the once so loving and sincere guy I used to be. It is deep down within, just waiting to express it to her. I hope my example could give you some guidance or insight towards something that suits you best. All the best Kevin. Be strong and have faith.
