[Val]

P:S: If we were all living in the same city, it would be like in on of the scenes where we would probably be hanging out together looking over the city.

Sincerely and truthfully, you all are my friends whom are afar physically yet close to my heart.

[Val]

Hi Guys, its been an interesting to see how your lives have been after the major break up. Till these days, I’m still missing my ex but I’ve not contacted her yet, I guess I’m just not ready yet for any heart breaking moments yet if that should happen.

@ Rihanna – What you’re doing now have given me some insight and I’m envious that you and your ex are still leaning towards each other. Yet for me. there are times when I wonder, am I just dreaming or hanging on to the past?? As much as I miss her, Ive not done anything to take steps to contact her either. Some times I’m just confused since I’ve not contacted for her this long.

@ Robot – Sounds like you’ve got an interesting week and it could have been totally something I would have done if I knew anything about my ex activities. Hahaha… At the end of the day, I would say it went well for you, having to know other girls and them wanting to meet up for future dates. its definitely a ego boost. You must be one hell of a good looking chap.

@ Steve – Especially since Singapore is such a small country, there are times when i wish I would bump into her, yet I also fear how to react if that happens.Some time I wonder too if I could ever find someone whom is good as my ex. Well not that she is perfect, everyone has their strength and flaws, but to me she had been perfect in my world and the chemistry we had was none like any I had before. I guess its just because we have yet to fully move on or to meet someone whom we could have such emotional adrenaline or attachment with. Till then I guess we should stay single so as to be available when a chance pops up…

Something for you all to enjoy, concentrate on working on ourselves and look ahead.

[Val]

I would say this place is like A Heaven A Home for our Hearts. Cheers everyone.

[Val]

Yeah Robot, we could almost be twinys… Hahaha… I’ve currently opened an online dating account and i’ve got girls winking and sending messages of that sort, but I couldnt be bothered. Even when i see some hot girls on the site, I dont feel anything, its like my heart is dead, unwilling to give or take a risk again. I’m feeling I’m getting kinda weird.

I’ve also seen her Facebook and I doubt she is with any guy yet as I saw her group photo on Valentine’s day, but the so called guy whom likes her had two other person standing in between them while they had the picture.

I think online dating is really something out of our normal comfort zone. Its like meeting a stranger with whom you’ve got totally no clue about what kind of person they are. I was chatting with a girl online and we hit off pretty well initially, but later on, I began to feel less enthusiasm from her and unwillingness to meet up for a meal, hence I got burned out from continuous effort to keep in contact if the other party aint open enough to maintaining an effort. Well it takes two hands to clap afterall.

Well Steve, the only reason I could think of is that woman talks based on their feelings. My ex told me that I am the type of man whom she would want to marry, and I also only had eyes for her. Yet still she broke up with me, softening her fall by trying to maintain a sworn brother/sister relationship. God Knows what they are thinking man. And Yeah, you’re definitely the man that she couldn’t see. I’m glad that you are doing well with your new activities. Somehow I had a hard time trying to move on as all the activities that I am interested in, my ex also enjoys them, or least I did taught her for those that she didnt know. Doing those activities just reminds me of her, which definitely sucks. Hahaha…

Hi Danial, I think what youre going through is totally normal. Be it I ever bump my ex on the streets or not in future, I would wanna find someone hotter than my ex, although one might think it as superficial, I guess its our desire mechanism wanting to win/show off to the person whom hurt us dearly.

Hi Loreley, I think what happened between you and that guy is normal, I mean this is coming from me whom also had a close to similar experience, however for your case, you guys seems to hit off better than I did. If there is any clues to his actions, I guess he had fears of committing into a possible relationship with the risk of breaking up if you end up together, you get what I meant? If there’s no relationship, there wont be a break up. Yet again it all depends on events that took place for him during and prior his break up. I guess it goes back to the same story of not thinking about it and just concentrating on improving yourself instead.

Well I guess I am gonna be here for quite a while. Somehow it seems like no matter how empathetic/supportive our friends could be towards us, it feels like no one truly understand how much we’ve been through to be desperate enough to end up here seeking help.

[Val]

Hi Everyone, First of all, I wanna send well wishes to everyone who made it through Valentine’s day. Yes, its definitely a hyped up popular culture.

Robot, Steve, I could totally related to your story. My situation has been pretty much a mix of both of yours. My ex apparently tried to soften the damage from a break up by asking me to maintain as sworn brother & sister. And like what could I do as I had to work overseas during the week too?? So I agreed and of course, I give my gf special treatment as compared to other girls and since she aint my gf anymore at that time, I couldnt treat her as well as if she had been my gf. Yet she still expects to be treated as if she was my gf. Darn it.

But like what Daniel said earlier, seems like we’ve been doing great in meeting new girls, it seems like none of us is ready to get into a serious relationship, emotionally.

Btw, when’s your birthday Robot?? We’ve got a pretty close birthday. Mine was on Feb 14. And yes, darn I spend that day alone and thinking shes probably with her new guy.

[Val]

Oh btw, is everyone till receiving Kevin’s email series? For some weird reason, I’ve not been able to receive them.

[Val]

Yeah Robot, totally agree with you man. The previous time when I broke up with my ex, it took me 3 full years to fully move on man, aint sure how long its gonna take this time. Although it feels better as the day passes, some times it feels like ‘as the day passes, I’m getting used or numb to the pain’. Seriously I don’t know whats going on or wrong with me. I’ve met so many hot women, pretty and slim with big smiling eyes, a couple with hot ass perfect figure. Yet after all the conversation and hanging out, none is able to fulfill the emptiness in my heart man. Not like i’m seeking for a relationship or anything, definitely taking it slow now. However I can’t even feel the little spark, you know like when your heart would flutter when you meet a girl whom you might have interest in. Darn can’t feel any of that man.

So how have you been on the search to get your life back? Have you gotten any clues so far robot?? Hope you could share some if you do, or anyone else could share it too. Thanks a lot for reading and have a wonderful weekend ahead.

[Val]

Hi Everyone, How is everyone going??

@ Loreley: Yeah, I agree with Daniel and Steve. There would be places that you dread of as they would remind you of the times you had with your ex. Images of my ex still comes across my mind daily and its been more than 4.5 months since our last contact. No doubt I miss her a lot and wondering how she is doing, yet this would get easier over time. Once you brave up and overcome that pain, you will be a much stronger person. There are times when I fear going to those places that we frequent too as I have mixed feelings about encountering her on the streets, yet when you can overcome them, you will feel empowered. And with regards to your timeline of how you are doing, I believe you are doing just fine. It takes time to heal, and you’ll get there one day. Just be patient and have faith.

[Val]

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Yeah, 2014 had been a crappy year for most of us here, however may 2015 be nothing but better. Lets continue to lift our heads up and higher!!! Honestly I couldnt be any more grateful to each and everyone of you around the world man. When our friends couldnt give us the best advice we need, it was only us who understood each other best could. Cheers to Everyone and 2015. May this year be everything of
greatness and happiness to you!!!

@ Robot: Yeah Its been good fun partying for the past 3 months, having fun and getting better by the day. Just hurt a little when I saw some fireworks during countdown as that was when we started dating. Hahaha.. Oh well, memories!!! But yeah I’ve yet to get into any fights, well least i’m not really the type who would wanna get into any. I’m a gentle giant… Hahaha… But yeah, I partied hard for the NYE and told myself, thats pretty much the end of my party life. Definitely gonna cut down as it still doesnt ultimately assist in the goals I want to achieve. Get ripped, work up my career and a wonderful gf in 2015. Hahaha… Cheers to you too kiddos…

[Val]

@ RAED:
Yeah man, it would be so nice if we’re all living together and providing support for each during times like this. and I think its ironic that most of us broke up during that month of May and ended up on this site. Its just such a timing. Hahaha…

@ Loreley:
Well, i can say that you are doing well Loreley. At your 7 weeks, it feels like you’re at where I am at 5 months after break up. Hahaha… Keep it going girl. You can do it…
@ Robot:
Yeah Dude, I totally agree that we are pretty much on the same boat and encountering somewhat similar situations too. Been drinking and partying hard for the past almost 2 months, i guess? But its got to stop at some point and I’m cutting it down next year. Hence 2 more days to party hard. Hahaha… Yeah, I’ve got a girl who told me that I’m a pretty flirt too when I’m high, however I do know too that deep down inside, thats not myself at all. Perhaps we are opening up and healing ourselves and opening up new doors.

Yeah man, Totally agree that once you hit the 30 and when your friends get married one by one, it feels like they are entering the rat race or the so called social norm. On one hand, it scares me yet on the other, when I was with my ex, it was what we both wanted. And even scarier now is that I cant see myself with anyone even if that girl is hot or kind hearted, just can’t. However I guess we’ve got to learn how to feel good about ourselves even when we are alone. Some times catching a movie or doing some random stuff alone brings some ease as well.

@ Rihanna:
Well, after all these while, i’m sure you know what would work best for you. So far, hanging out with friends and working out gives the best uplifting mood for me. Lets all look forward and ahead. When one door closes, many would open for you. I never believed this statement till when I’m experiencing it now. Hahaha… And if you ever do come to Singapore, hit me up. I’ll bring you around… Hahaha…

[Val]

Hi Guys, Merry Christmas and A Happy 2015 Ahead. Sorry for the late reply as I’ve been partying hard and tied up with work as well. I’ll do my best to response to all whom I was chatting with previously. Sorry that it seems a little back dated.

@ Loreley:
First of all, congrats that you’ve passed your german test with outstanding results and Thank you for reading my letter. Yes I’ve written it, but I’ve yet to send it to her. Basically I’m not ready to meet her yet, but I’ll do it soon as I’m not feeling as much hurt when I happen see her post on FB. All I could say, it could be his self-defense mechanism working in place and its tough to understand how it works as it varies individually. And oh yeah, I’m not too far away from you, Just probably around an hr or two plane ride away… Singapore right here… Hahaha…

@ Robot 3:
Hey Robot, I think we’ve got pretty similar situation. I’m a one man army too, distanced relatives whom are related by blood but are no more than an acquaintance, parents whom always speak from a negative perspective and a father whom always puts me down with the harshest words that made me felt worthless. I guess they have taken our care for granted that they don’t realize it. Such matters do take lots of self reflection. And yeah it does feel great that I’ve got two girls liking me now, however my heart is closed up and still half heartedly towards my ex. Some times I feel like I miss her so much that it would be wonderful if we can work things back together, some times I feel great alone. In any case, I’m just enjoying the flow and getting my confidence back first before I decide on anything man. For me, its kinda weird in terms of sex. I dont feel sexually attracted to any girls man, don’t even think of having sex with anyone. I’ve seen hot girls around, just that ‘it’s’ dead for now… Hahaha…

I do think its true to that guys do have harder times after breakups, partly also being the male dominant, we cant go to our buddies and have a emotional cry out. That just sounds gay in the male world, while females always have their sisters ready to lend their shoulder.

And these days, I still get pretty nervous hanging out in the malls man, aint sure when she would pop up right in front of me and how should I react to that. Its just crazy. Hahaha…

@ RAED:
Yeah man, I agree with you. some times no closure is still a closure, just that you’ve got to conclude it yourself. Its been 7 months for me and I’m still dreaming of her too that we are back together and having happy times, yet only to wake up knowing its just a dream. Aint sure to be happy or not man. And I’m just amazed by how you analyze things man. Certainly makes decision making much easier.

@ Rihanna:
Yeah it does sting a little when we see other couples out there while we are alone, yet I smile knowing I would be with someone else next Christmas, although I’ve got the slightest clue who it is or would that even happen. Hahaha… And yeah, the pain reminds us that we are still alive.

[Val]

@ RAED:
Yeah Raed, what you say really have much truth to it. When you love yourself enough, whatever that comes along the way or not, you are still happy with or without them.

@ Robot:
Guess yours and my time line is somewhat similar and I’m going through the same thoughts and urge to know whats happening on her end. We’ve got a mutual friend, but I’ve been resisting the urge to know how she is, perhaps procrastinating as well. There’s always some fear to know if shes attached, i would feel hurt, but happy if she’s not. Hence thats probably why I procrastinate trying to find out. And recently when I’m going out shopping, its weird that I keep looking out and around. Some part of me wanna see her, the other half doesn’t. Guess I aint sure how to react yet if I do see her, to run or to say Hi and walk by cooly, although I know the latter is suppose to be the better way.

@ Loreley:
Well, if I have any similarities with your ex, then it might be his way of trying to overcome the hurt from the breakup. I did join a dating site too, looking around for others who are looking for a serious relationship too, but I was no where near from moving on from my ex, even till now, I’ve not been able to move on yet. However if I recalled correctly, you break up with him, right? Hence whether has he moved on or not doesn’t really concern you. Some people could get over in a few days, some could take years. However I guess its some jealousy in you and also I doubt he knows what hes doing too, but just doing something to try get over the pain. Some times what you see or hear just may not be that way. In any case, such matters are too complicated to comprehend. Just concentrate on yourself and things would be so much simpler.

[Val]

HI Joe, actually between me and my ex, everything was going on well till we broke up. She felt that I hurt her during the end days of while we are hanging on to each other, which I don’t blame her for that too because it is partially my own behavior that caused that too. I just couldn’t give her the benefits that I normally would to my gf, thats how i make my girl special from anyone else. I guess its her self defense mechanism that she hate me in order to forget me and I allowed myself to be a doormat. Of course I would never allow that to happen again and yet also, if we could get back together, i know she was never a person like this to begin with. Oh well, sounds like i’m writing in her defense and like i’m confused between my mind and reality.

Yeah Dara, Certainly she has some bad qualities like everyone does since we are human. However when I was with her, i knew about them and accepted both her good and bad qualities as who she was. Its just hard to think of the bad qualities and hate her using them. Just aint really in my DNA to hate a person man. Hence suffering this way. Now that I’ve got my rebound, it makes things worse that I miss my ex even more. Hahaha… What a complicated life.

Its definitely great to see how you guys are getting on well and kicking asses… Yeah, this is definitely a nice place to come back once in a while to see how’s everyone doing and moving on with our lives…

[Val]

Hi Dara, Yup, I was the one who got shitfaced in front of the bar without help. Hahaha… For some unknown reason or feelings, I am still caught up with the emotions of wanting her back. I want her back in my life, not that I need her to be happy. Although there are things that she had done which hurt me, I still couldn’t look into her negative aspects and use them to hate her. Just aint in my DNA I guess??

Yeah, I’m getting my confidence back as the day passes yet aint as good as before. Sometimes I wish I could see her as I’ve not seen her for a long time, yet I think I might run away if I do. Damn it sure is complicated and confusing. Hahaha…

Really wondering what should I do next and hoping I could have an ending like Joe’s. Hahaha…

[Val]

Hi Guys, glad to see that most of you are doing well… I’ve got some situation which i would like to share and if you guys could give me your valuable insights/comments. It’s been exactly 3 months of NC and I wasn’t counting down, just happened to came online and realized it 3 months too. Hahaha… During this period, she had only drop me a text a month ago of trying to get two of her stuff back, however I did not reply her. In a way, I was frustrated that she didn’t even ask how im doing and only asked for her stuff. And while I’m with my rebound, she actually deleted all my pictures of me and my ex in my cellphone. After the deleting incident, my urge/desire/missing of my ex is increasing daily. Every new nice place I’ve been to, I could either visualize with of us being there together in future, or places that we’ve both been to before, I would hallucinate an image of her. This few months, events have been occurring similar to last year’s, only difference is without her around anymore. What’s wrong with me missing her increasingly recently man?? And should I try contacting her?? I’ve been in a rebound, had my fair share of partying, getting girls’ number but not contacting them, been on a couple dates but not feeling any chemistry and only hoping that it was my ex beside me instead. I still want her back in my life. Do you guys think I’m actually in a right state of mind about wanting her back and what’s your views of the overall happenings?

Thank you for reading and commenting.

[Author]

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