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Steve, LA, Daniel, Julia –
Thank you so much for your replies and I will follow what you said! You are amazing! I got emotional from time to time, so sometimes I would make bad decisions… i.e. watching those videosI have another problem that I would love to ask for advice… My day was usually ok, but every morning when I opened my eyes (I don’t even need an alarm to wake up now, which is so strange because I used to sleep a ton), I couldn’t help but those memories and the fact that we’re not dating anymore just kept haunting in my head… And that made me sick and sad. Is there anything to do to make this easier?
Steve–
Sorry for the confusion. Not a native speaker so please tolerate my grammar or expression issues :)(he’s American tho).I’m in complete NC right now, no messaging/facebooking/video chatting whatsoever… He said “I love you so much but I need a break” last Monday and replied my email saying things about “being alone” on last Thursday, I replied his email on Sunday so yeah it’s official 5th day for me 🙂 Aiming for at least one month because Dara told me that for him time may pass slower (since he’s working 14-16 hours per day) 🙂
Those videos were sent by him when we were still dating. Back then we would video chat every day and he would send me an extra video before he/I went to bed.
I couldn’t help watching those.. I have been preparing for my exam next Monday so I didn’t get the time to transfer his pictures/videos out from my phone. I’m doing it after my exam for sure.
It’s just.. Seeing his smiles and listening to his words in the videos make me so sad. Oh gosh we’re not dating anymore.
Thanks for the concern Steve, you’re really a nice person. 🙂 Wish you a good night!
Day 5 NC for me.
Got a little bit emotional this morning. Couldn’t help thinking about him and kept watching the daily video he has sent me. Yeah there was a sign. He smiled less and he looked exhausted. Miss him so much ans I really hope I can get back with him.
Trying my best to better myself.
a.z., I love this comment too much that it motivates me a lot:
“Hey,
Its possible.but there is nothing to worry about.the only thing you should do is to continue being the way you are.and thats why i said that you need to be patient.it takes time.you should do it little by little and step by step so you can reattract him again.and once you attract him again,there will be no more logical thoughts on his mind.he will convince himself that you have changed and this is the new you.Don’t worry about anything.be confident.keep up the good job and update us ”
Thank you a.z. for having supported so many people here!And Giulia, I’m so happy for you that you’ve come so far! I feel like everything is heading a perfect direction for you! I’m with you and wish you all the best!
Mordecai –
Thank you for the encouragement, I feel a lot better knowing that I wasn’t acting needy 🙂RAED–
Thank you so much for your long comment again! Yeah I started to have real smiles on my face and my friends told me that I look more like what I was before – confident! You’re so right about thinking what I was before he entered in my life! And I realized at the same time that I did not control myself really well in this relationship that I became too attached/dependent/needy on him, which is not a good thing especially after the honeymoon stage. Apparently, I was still in the honeymoon stage while he was not there anymore. I told to my friends that it was hard for me to accept is partly because this relationship was perfect to me, right, may not be perfect for him because I was always receiving and he’s always giving. Plus he has much more real world pressure than I have while I didn’t relate to him. Knowing those problems make me feel more confident about getting back to him. I am actually very positive right now.However, at the moment, I will have to focus on my exams in August. I kept visualizing telling him about my success on those exams (I know he would be proud because he always care that I’m successful in school) and that really keeps me motivated and concentrated on my study!! Good luck to us all!! Ace the exams and better ourselves!!
Thank you again RAED, you’re such an amazing person. You’re telling the truth and also giving me the hope. I am so, so thankful.
Yeah what you said totally makes sense! But I already sent it and currently on the NC..
Hope we can still have a chance..
a.z.,
Your words helped a lot! “The first step of getting an ex back is to become a happy confident person without them in your life”, this is so encouraging!!!
Steve,
I wish he could reach out to me, but no… that kind of message was in the breakup email and in his messages with our mutual friend. He told our friend that “A big reason I cant handle a serious relationship is mostly because it’s just not a good time in my life. I worry far too much about others and I’ll just end up hurting both of us. More than I already have. A lot of this may seem selfish, but I hope she understands that it’s not all selfish.”; “Such a hard hard decision. I just know that I couldn’t handle a strong relationship right now, it’s overwhelming me, I haven’t been sleeping and my stress has been far too high”, “Good, the only thing I ask is that you (our mutual friend) help her succeed. Grades and tests.”, etc. And when our friend asked “Do you plan to stay friends with her?” He replied “Yeah but she needs time to heal. I’m not just going to drop her but I want her to focus on herself.”…(She just showed me some of them and from all I know I feel like he’s seeing me as a friend now..)Hey I was starting to think like a mess..
Not sure if this is an excuse but my ex said “I’ve been too weak because I care too much.” And “I worry constantly and I haven’t been sleeping and my stress has been far too high”…Feeling lost 🙁 Obsessed with the idea “getting back with him” 🙁
Thanks for your long comment Mordecai! Yeah I replied his breakup email by the following:
““I know this must be a hard decision for you but I completely understand. I understand that right now you need time and space to deal with your stress, work, sleep, and time with family, and that is the most important thing for you right now.
I will stay strong, study hard, and keep hanging out with my friends and making memories.
Thank you very much and you can always talk to me when you’re not that busy. You’ll always have my support and you’ll be in my daily prayers.”
I felt it’s somehow positive and cool but I did say “you can always talk to me when you’re not that busy”, making me feel like I just friendzoned myself…What do you think of my email?
I got a little bit distracted while studying because I saw a sentence that “if a guy decided to end an relationship, it’s for sure that he can’t be happy in this relationship anymore”. I know I shouldn’t have seen those stuff during my preparation for the exam..
But..How could I ignore all the “signs” (i still couldn’t think of any one of them)? How could I still think we were stable and sweet while he already decided to let it go? We still Facetimed every day and he told me he would love me forever literally three days before the break up …
🙁
RAED –
I couldn’t thank you more for your words every time! They’re telling me what I have to do right now but are also very encouraging!Yeah I will focus on my exams before September (two in August, ugh), and then my school will start and all the career fair and classes stuff.. hope I can truly focus on myself as time passes!!!
I got Relationship Rewind yesterday but I guess I will have to wait after my exams to read them 🙂
