[sunshinegirl]

Thanks Dara,
I’ll try my very best to become a more amazing person and attract him back. It’s just easier to keep hope sometimes, so with that dose of help, I could focus on what I’m doing and stuff. Ugh, it’s harsh.

[sunshinegirl]

Can’t believe it’s only 10th day of my NC, but here I am.

I’m feeling good most of time, but I can get emotional from time to time. I would think things like – Does he still have feelings for me? Am I able to him in my whole life? Is it true that he’s gone for good? Why things change so rapidly? etc.

Again, I am thankful that I have you guys here. I feel stronger.

My studying has been okay and I keep telling myself that if I want to go back with him, I’ll have to do my best to pass the exam because that shows how independent and strong I am, which would be very attractive. So, okay, go back to study 🙂

And everyone here – have a great day!

[sunshinegirl]

I’m happy for you now you’re feeling good!
And I hope everything will work out for you!
Best of luck!

[sunshinegirl]

Giulia –
I’m so happy for your positive attitude! Your plan sounds great and I’m sure things will work out for you!

[sunshinegirl]

Thank you Joe for your comments and not minding I posted here 🙂 but I will not post my stuff here anymore 🙂

Hey I’m so proud of you!!! ONE MONTH!!! Good for you! 🙂

Things are only going to get better!

[sunshinegirl]

Julia –
I know that exactly! Same here! Sometimes I’m so positive because everything would seem so hopeful and I’m really happy during that time. But sometimes I would feel so low that I feel I’m doing nothing to win him back and we’re never going to be back with each other..

Knowing that I have company is really sweet tho!

[sunshinegirl]

LA –
I was about to reply you but I just saw Julia’s comment and I totally agree with her. 🙂

Wait one day or two and figure out how you really feel about getting back with her since you weren’t attracted to her.

Good luck!

[sunshinegirl]

Julia your comment gives me strength!
“yes there are days where you wonder if this is all worth it. You are the only one who can give this answer. If you love her deeply no matter what, then I say you stay strong and fight it. But first you have to face your demons and become a confident person because that what she wants to see in the end.
We can do this!”

Thank you!

[sunshinegirl]

Thanks a lot for your input Dara and Andy!

This makes me a little bit sad tho… I just know he’s an absolutely nice person and I really, really want to go back with him 🙁 I just kept telling myself that we can go back with each other and our relationship will be stronger then. That’s what has been supporting me through these days. I feel bad for not acting right and realizing those signs in time. How could a person’s feelings fade away so fast?

[sunshinegirl]

A.z.

How you feeling right now? Any better? <3

—-
Oops, just saw your replies above! I hope you can have a rest today! Maybe you should come here less? We’ll all miss you tho..

Your health comes first right now 😀

[sunshinegirl]

Rihanna,
Thanks for the concern! I am concentrating on my exams when I’m not on the forum haha 🙂 Coming here just makes me feel that I’m not alone/lonely, and I feel more refreshed actually!

Have a great day oldies 😀

[sunshinegirl]

Thanks Dara, you have been absolutely helpful!

Yeah sometimes it’s hard to me to understand him – I’m a girl and he’s a guy; I’m Chinese and he’s American; I’m still in school while he’s having so much responsibility for his work already, etc. However, I’m trying to understand him.
Although he’s American, I’ve found him not very alike the guys who I know from school. Maybe more calm, and mature? I don’t know how to express that clearly.

From his words to me, I think he means: He constantly is worrying, and he cares about me being happy. He wants to make me happy but it seems he can’t make it. And he’s been too stressed out, so he had to let go.

I was so sensitive sometimes. Now when I think back when I was his place for the summer, I was too sensitive and I got “sad” too often. You know what? I didn’t even realize that. For me(or for all the girls?), I just expressed that and I forgot about it after we talked. But he may remember those and started to think about our relationship. There was one time he mentioned, “you see I can’t make you happy anymore. Think about last week, you were not happy every day.” I didn’t realize how bad it is, all I did is just to convince him “of course you made me happy! You made me happier than anymore else!” But maybe that’s not useful anymore…

Right before he said he needed a break, he was talking about he feels like “there’s too many stuff in my plate”. He said he wanted to visit his family but had no time, he said “I’m working 10 days straight, and then i have an audit, and then I wanted to visit you, and then another wedding, etc” And I said “Then skip visiting me, I’m fine”, and he replied “That’s the thing. I feel like I can’t maintain a healthy relationship and still balance my friends and family.” (I kept thinking that what if I said “I can visit you so then we can visit your friends and family together!” 🙁 )

He also mentioned “I feel like it’s impossible for me to make you happy and still visit my friends and family”.

I feel like his worries make him not able to sleep anymore, which turns out to make him much more stressful.

I don’t know.. He messaged our mutual friend that “I worry about others too much and it will end up hurting both of us, more than I already have. A lot of this may seem selfish, but I hope she understand it’s not all selfish.”

Ugh..I still believe he’s not lying to me. I feel like he’s always honest to me. I just couldn’t understand it.

[sunshinegirl]

Need guys’ perspectives here 🙂 Very curious and a bit confusing.

– Would guys choose to break up even when they still have feelings? He said “I’ve become too weak because I care too much”, “I constantly am worrying and could barely sleep”, etc. I don’t know… Is it that he feels so responsible to make me happy and takes too much pressure from that?

And he mentioned “friend” in the email. Did it mean he doesn’t have feelings anymore?

Also…Is it really easy for guy to pretend that they love someone? Because I feel like if someone loves me, I can feel it, the real feeling, not the fake ones. I still felt that from my ex literally three days before the break up. How could things change so rapidly?

I still couldn’t believe it because in his relationships before, he’s never the one to choose breakup (he told me that) and he mentioned so many times that he never had feelings like those for me. He told his family, friends, and me that if there’s a program to design every aspect of his dream girl, it would end up being me..

I really do not understand guys sometimes. He’s a really, really nice guy. Very responsible, calm, diligent, considerate, etc. Just I couldn’t understand this right now.

Thanks in advance. 🙂

[sunshinegirl]

Mordecai,

Thanks for your reply!!! I am not a native English speaker so please understand I didn’t get all of it..

Why would you feel you’re at the end of the relationship while things were ok even great? From my perspective, everything was perfect and we had happy times all the way.. I did act needy or jealous from time to time, but i did do a lot of nice things and we really had fun. 🙁

[sunshinegirl]

Joe,

Sorry to interrupt here but I really want to know from a guy’s perspective since I started to think about my ex’s words again. Not making me sad or anything, just curious.

Would guys choose to break up even when they still have feelings? He said “I’ve become too weak because I care too much”, “I constantly am worrying and could barely sleep”, etc. I don’t know… Is it that he feels so responsible to make me happy and takes too much pressure from that?

And he mentioned “friend” in the email. Did it mean he doesn’t have feelings anymore?

Also…Is it really easy for guy to pretend that they love someone? Because I feel like if someone loves me, I can feel it, the real feeling, not the fake ones. I still felt that from my ex literally three days before the break up. How could things change so rapidly?

I still couldn’t believe it since he’s never the one to choose breakup (he told me that) and he said so many times that he never had feelings like those for me. He told his family, friends, and me that if there’s a program to design every aspect of his dream girl, it would end up being me..

I really do not understand guys sometimes. He’s a really, really nice guy. Very responsible, calm, diligent, considerate, etc. Just I couldn’t understand this right now.

Thanks in advance. 🙂

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