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Saoirse, Dara, Az,
I did NC. Our last contact date was Aug 10th, when I replied the breakup email and sent all my best wishes.
During these days, I am half way done with my certificated exam (4 in total, I passed two with high scores, 10 days after breakup!), started school and got involved in a lot of activities, got an part-time internship starting next week, lost 10 lbs and am looking better 🙂
What made this hard is, we are in the long distance relationship. I’ll have to drive 6 hours to meet him, this is crazy, right? And I don’t want to tell him because I feel he would say no, and our mutual friend will come out and say something bad.
Another crazy thing, I sometimes watched the daily videos that he sent me before, I didn’t feel sad, but I feel joyful and happy.. I feel like I’m going crazy…
I just really want to do something to make it work and I’m really feeling more confident, composed, and independent right now since I’ve been doing well without him. And because English is not my native language, I worry that there will be misunderstanding through texts/messages. I think if we can talk face to face, it will be more clear.
I don’t know.. What do you guys think? Am I going mad..?
PS, am I the youngest? I thought a.z. is! I’m 23 years old!
Also, I made it missing an “e” on purpose! Feels it’s cuter haha!Seeing all your posts here made me realize maybe I should never just drive to him place and “surprise” him..
Sometimes I feel like this because I am sure that I’m not a mess anymore, I actually look better and have some achievements in school and other areas, I feel like I want to show him that I’m composed and independent enough.I feel like talking to him, rather than having a “middle man” (our mutual friend) between us, who is even not genuine and is playing tricks to stop us being together.
But I guess going to him is just a bad idea.
I still want to get back with him, and do not want to completely “move on”. I just feel like this is not over in this way…Aw a.z. you are at the same age or even younger than me!!!
And I like that you’re so strong!!! I’ll stay strong too 😉
Steve,
I agree about the Facebook idea too! And it’s been a long time so I think it’s ok to take the actions!One of my exes reached me out after half of year after the breakup, and I was dating someone after the breakup but broke up with another guy, then when my ex reached out to me, he changed a lot and I was attracted to him again so we got back together!!
Best of luck and keep us posted!
Dara –
Your story always makes me laugh.
Your post is not ridiculous at all! Actually this is what you should do 🙂 Whenever you feel like you want to share something that you could not share with others.. Come here 🙂AZ –
Thanks for your words. You have no idea how powerful your words are,they always heal my feelings a lot.So I’ve been busy these days, career fair and stuff. I got my scores for my two exams that I took after my breakup, it turned out I passed both of them, and both with relatively high scores 🙂 I’m half way done with this certified exam! And I’ll have an interview tomorrow, but I still wanted to check out you guys here…
Hope everyone is having a great night and have a great day tomorrow!
Sorry I have to vent it out there… again
My gut tells me our mutual friend did it on purpose. I’ll refer her as W and my ex as R.
W hung out with my friends, and said something like “R said it’s almost impossible. It’s not a good match.” (I can understand this tho, classic post breakup talk) “Oh yes he wanted to go to China. If I went back to China, he would go; if not, he wouldn’t go.”
Guys, she must know that there is possibility that my friends would tell me these, and she did. She knew how hurtful those words are and she said them.
However, I chose to trust my ex here. He’s not going to date her because he’s the type of guy who wants stable, and who’s responsible, etc (I didn’t know how to describe but hope you understand), while she’s the type of girl who may play with guys. Actually the first day they met, my ex heard she have sex with another guy in another room, that guy was dating her best friend at that time! So it took a long time for my ex to be respectful to her. But overall, she’s nice to friends and study/work hard, so they are still good friends. But they never go to bar or party together or something. Dara, do you remember I mentioned that she wouldn’t post photos with me? I feel like she’s trying to block me from my ex.
I feel like she wants to date my ex.
Also, when my ex and I had issues before, she told me something like my ex thought I was lying or something, and when I explained to my ex, he said that’s not true.
I really feel like she’s doing this on purpose! What should I do? If she’s doing everything to prevent us going back? What if she keeps telling my ex to unfollow me on facebook and telling him that I’m not doing ok?
And A.Z, I have another question for you, hope you can help me out I don’t have your email so I’ll post here. I knew law of attraction actually because our mutual friend, she told me once that she used a lot and always succeed. I’ve watched the Secret to feel a lot better and thought to apply that to get back with my ex. But what if she’s using the same to get in relationship with my ex? I’m so confused!
I couldn’t get out of this mind mess!!! It sucks!
Thank you a.z.
I actually don’t want to know anything about him! Because knowing nothing makes me feel good! It was just that one of my friends saw I doing great and thought I fully recovered already so she mentioned unintentionally, but our mutual friend, ugh I feel she’s not genuine at all!
I’m going to stop talking to her! I have plenty time before I head home! Thank you a.z. for your words! They helped a lot!
The career season is coming and I am really not allowing myself to cry through this important time for me. Thank you again and I’ll do my best!
a.z.
I have been doing NC for 30 days now. Now I feel like everything I knew is from her but she never told me anything in front of me! And my ex is going to China after breaking up with me, which we talked a lot before!
Gosh I feel like driving all the way to Wisconsin now! Why he doesn’t contact me but trust her so much?
A.z. I really want him back.. Still. I still feel like I want to anything to get back with him! 🙁
Ok just knew another thing about him. He’s planning to travel to China during Christmas. We’ve talked a lot about this and now he’s going there alone.
I really don’t understand how he can do this! I have to cut off everything that is related to him to feel ok, and now he’s going to my country?! He is not hurt at all?!
Not a problem saoirse!
Ugh I need help here 🙁
So our only one mutual friend never told me in person anything about my ex! But she would mention those to my friends (also her friends).So now I know that my ex is considering mailing my stuff back. When I knew this I was almost crying! That means I’m not strong at all, and this is after a month already!!! I haven’t heard everything from him, I am so afraid that I may just see a box outside by apartment but never hearing from him… I feel like he’s really cutting me off totally 🙁
I feel like all the strong feel, is what I’ve been faking. I couldn’t let go for real. I want let go because I feel “letting go” would eventually let me get back with him. See, all the time my goal is still getting back with him!
How could he be so cold while he’s the most caring person I have ever known? I have the impulse to drive 7 hours to him right now! Shoot I feel like right after breakup :((((
Of course she does!
No matter what the emotions are, no matter they’re positive or negative, people showing emotions means they care. 🙂
Hey Dara –
I’m pretty obsessed too! I checked it pretty often, although I didn’t comment as much.Hope everything is doing great! I feel like as time goes by, the very thing that I wanna achieve most is to be an attractive person, not only to ex, but to all people around me, females and males, literally ALL people. And one of the most attractive traits is independent, as well as strong (I’m talking about mentally here). So that’s my current focus. Ugh! // Well actually my biggest focus is finding a job 😀 wish me luck!!!
Oh about that “online meeting/phone” stuff, I’m interested if it’s on! Just bare my accent since I just have been studying here for a year 🙂
Letting go is really important. When we actually are able to let go, we start to focus on ourselves and live our own lives. That’s when we gain the power. “Moving on” and “letting go” are so important no matter you want to get back with ex or not.
Hope I’m right. Good night guys!
Sunshinegirl here! Just found out I can actually change my nickname and it’s so sunny out there today!!!!
I’m not always commenting here but I have always kept an eye on all of you. And I am so happy that all of you have come here so far!!! Cheers!!
A.z.
I agree with others. Give it some time. You’re so, so strong and I’m sure everything is & will be fine for you!Dara-
Moving on champion! Proud of you!Rihanna,
I am so,so happy for you! I think you may want to stay cool! That’s very attractive!As for me, I am doing really well 🙂 Busy with school and job hunting and my life, I may think about him from time to time, but I don’t get depressed or emotional. And I plan to extend NC for a long time! Until he contacts me 🙂 I feels like there’s no point to initiate the contact since I’m “dumped” haha, I need my dignity and ego! And I’m around 26 days of NC, I still don’t care about seeing his Facebook and asking our mutual friend about him, I feel like cutting him off completely makes me feel a lot better and more self-focused 🙂
All the wishes to everyone!! By the way next Monday is Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival, which you’re supposed to have specific food and gather with family. Well since I’m currently living in the states, I’ll probably celebrate it with my dear friends.. But anyway, happy Mid-Autumn Festival no matter you know it or not!
Have a blast everyone! Hope there’s a beam of sunshine in everyone’s heart 🙂
