Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hey Lulu,
NC will allow you to figure out if your ex is the right guy for you. You might end up in a rebound relationship if you continue dating him because you are not over your ex yet, in that case you will hurt him. Let him know that you’re not over your ex and that you still need time to think about it. However, if you like this new guy and the attention he’s giving you then ask yourself why you still want your ex back.
Better yourself during these two weeks, don’t worry about the new girl, there’s nothing you can do about her. You can attract him and other guys if you imrpove yourself. So control the things you can and let go of the things you can’t. You can still contact him, I agree that NC after 4 months can be risky if you still want him back. Perhaps try contacting him once every 3 days, don’t act needy and keep the conversation going.
You two have two years of history together, most likely it is a rebound with the new guy. Instead of thinking about them, find out the real reason for breakup. Even though it’s just 5 minutes of arguing, they add up. Know the reason and fix it yourself to improve yourself. Do it for her, yourself, or your future relationship, try not to repeat your mistakes.
Only time can tell for sure, you just have to do your best and control what you can, which is yourself. If you learn to be happy without him, you’ll be happier whether he is back or not. When you felt miserable like you were, you have to calm yourself. When you let go and keep your mind clear, your decisions will be clearer. Don’t lose yourself to your emotions, you are stronger than that. You still have a chance, but you have to stay strong inside. Let him initiate contact on you, you dont have to do anything, you’re good where you are. If he doesn’t contact you, don’t worry and keep moving in life and stay happy. Life is too short to feel sad, don’t wait for him, you have endless opportunities, taking care of yourself is more important.
Hey Gigi,
Let your tears out, you will feel better. Memories don’t go away, so cherish them. I’ve felt you pain before and it felt terrible. You’re not alone and I want you to know that you’re special. He wouldn’t have treated you so nicely if you weren’t special to him. It’s hard to let go, I know because you are afraid. Think about the positive traits you have, close your eyes and keep your heart calm. You’ve done enough for him, it’s time for you to treat yourself better. When you feel better, go out and have a walk and think of the beauty of someone fe itself. You’ve gone so far now and you have a lot more to go. We are always here, feel free to contact us, I hope you feel better soon. Keep smiling.
Nice Daniel, I’ve finished Culinary school at Le Cordon Bleu right after high school. I think it’s a great skill to have and it’s a heck of an experience. I hope you are enjoying your career and have fun in your travels hehe. I’m studying computer science at the moment in college.
a.z, it’s great that you’re not even thinking about him anymore haha. Every post I see has your reply in it, 😛 good job helping others.
It gets better over time guys, keep yourself free from worrying. The more you think about what your exes are doing, the more assumptions you make. Whether those assumptions are true or not, there’s nothing you can do about it and it only makes you feel worse. If you are happy, your happiness will show and you will attract what you want.
Are you finally moving on now a.z? How is everything? And you Daniel? I’m curious of what everyone is doing nowadays. It’s summer for me so I’ve lots of time. What is everyone studying, working or up to?
Hi everyone!
Sorry I haven’t been visiting, I’m doing great and still with my gf. It’s so good to read all of your comments and stories, I’ve missed you guys. Good to see everyone is doing so well 🙂 I live in California too haha. Dara and a.z., thank you for helping everyone out there and helping everyone out. I love helping out others too and couldn’t believe that I felt so miserable after break up. Everyone’s comments and giving myself time to self reflect has made me a stronger person. I am a happier person now and life is great giving me the opportunity to meet you guys. I still have a month before school starts, I’ll try and visit you guys when I can. Thanks Kevin, for making all of this happen. You guys are the best!
Hi IA,
I did write the letter, I handwrote it and gave it to her in person. In the letter I’ve mentioned my feelings for her and appreciated everything she’s done for me. I have told her how great of a gf she was. She was holding hands with another guy after our breakup and I felt miserable, I couldn’t stop thinking about what they were doing everyday. As time passed, I’ve read some advices from this website and talked to friends about my situation, I have realized that I needed some self respect. I had to change in a positive way and be happy even though I may lose her. Having this abundant mindset has definitely made me less needy. If you want to reconcile with your ex, I think there are a couple of key factor you have to be aware of. You have to ask yourself are you currently ready for her to take you back? What is your plan to get her back? How can you show her without coming out needy? There are many questions, but the answers come along the way. I found out that the more I’ve thought about the other guy and my ex, the more false assumptions came through, even though some were true, it was affecting my mental health and I can’t feel that way if I want her back. You can easily win her back from the other guy because you two shared many happy moments together. Take this week to write a sincere letter, don’t be afraid if she doesn’t take you back. That’s how you will show that you’ve changed and it will make her attracted to you over time. And even if it doesn’t, NC has made you stronger to make you realize that you deserve someone better if she doesn’t take you back. I hope all goes well between you two and it really seems like you have a chance, don’t think about the other guy, feel confident that you’ll get her back. How you feel will affect how you act around others.
Thanks a.z. for being there for me, it was great reading your stories and watching you grow with improvements. I’m glad that you’re able to finally be happy without him. The important one is you, it’s how you feel, your life and decisions. It’s great to feel free isn’t it? I have felt that way since June and life just feels beautiful. I’m sure that one day you will find someone you deserve, you two will be happy together because of what you’ve learned here. I’m happy for you too a.z., keep up the good work.
Hi everyone,
Haven’t talked with you guys for a while now haha sorry, I’ve been busy with school. NC was able definitely able to make me feel stronger, more independent, and the feeling of single again. Summer school has just ended for me, and now I’m free! Two days ago, I’ve asked if she wanted to get back with me and she said ok. I’ve asked her about the other guy and I’ve let her know the problems that I’ve had. I told her that if she has any problems she has to let me know so we don’t end up like before. She seemed to agree with me on everything and I think the most important thing is to just enjoy the moment with her and build more happy moments together. Life is too short to always be stressed out about problems and it is just better to enjoy it.
Thank you for those who have been rooting for me and giving me advice and thank you Kevin for your emails, they have been really helpful. This site has brought me hope when I felt down and I’m grateful to have met you guys. Rihanna, Dara, a.z., David, it’s been nice meeting you guys, I hope you guys are doing well. I’m happy to see that many of you have moved on and for those who haven’t yet, I know over that overtime, you will find bliss in your journey.
A relationship takes two to work, both people have to put effort for it to work. If he doesn’t have time for a relationship, you have to find out why. It’s not fair for you if you get back with him and he thinks the same again and leave you again. Breakups happen for a reason, either you get back or you don’t, either you learn from your mistakes or you let it be. I’m assuming that you two broke up because you two are too comfortable in the end of the relationship and after he left, you feel heart broken correct?
Hi Ashley,
How long have you two been together? Are both of you Computer Science majors? If he plays lots of video games, it’s an easy way to distract himself so that he doesn’t have to think about you. Your breakup situation is similar to mine, I was playing so much video games that I suggested break up because I wasn’t focusing on my goals. I asked my ex why she wanted to be with someone that always plays video games. I felt like I wasn’t giving my ex nearly as much attention that I should have. After break up, I immediately wanted her back and did all the deadly mistakes mentioned in the guide.
If you two have been together long enough, it won’t be easy to forget you. Hopefully, he will realize that he’s lost someone precious. I would advise you to continue NC so that he has time to recognize this. You should continue your goals and don’t wait for him. Let him figure out his path and you’ll know when he chooses you. If he chooses to play video games or be with someone else, you should know that you deserve someone better.
She is probably trying to move on. It’s up to you whether you want to keep trying, but try not to show signs of neediness. She seems to be doing well with her new relationship, but that’s nothing compared to the 4 years you two have together. If you want her back, you’ll need to find a way to attract her.
