I will give the backstory first. We’ve been together for about 3 years and have broken up with each other 3 times. Technically once it was only a break, and last two times were break up, most recent one being initiated by her. The most recent break up was my fault for being extremely insecure in the relationship. After being broken up with, I did not beg, I accepted and immediately went into no contact. Fast forward 4 mo that, we ended up drinking together where she told me “she just wants to be single for a while”. She ended up sleeping with me anyways and we’ve been in a friends with benefits situation for about 2 months. Last time we met up I apologized for trying to control certain aspects of the relationships (the insecurity) but did not ask to get back together, in fact, I told her I wanted to end the friends with benefits relationship. I told her that I don’t want this to stop her from doing what she already has planned, it’s just that I don’t want to feel like an option and I wish her the best. We agreed to meet to drink and have sex 1 more time before ending this this. I genuinely want to get back into a relationship with her. Was this the right move? Should I have stayed in the friends with benefits situation any longer? Any other advice?
@monkeyman24 A break and 2 breakups in 3 years isn’t a good sign. Meeting up for drinks and sex was not a good idea if you wanted to try and reconcile. And ending the friends with benefits situation was the right thing to do if you want a relationship. But she has to want a relationship with you too, otherwise it won’t work… Apologizing is nice, but if you want a chance, you have to prove you’re a nicer better person who isn’t insecure or controlling.
How did you display your insecurity?? And how did you display your controlling tendency?? Can you be more specific on all reasons she broke up with you??
She said she wants to be single for a while, so I guess you’ll need to take her at her word. There’s not much you can do to change her mind if this is actually what she wants…