well.. i messaged her

reconciliation
1

i cant usually see the stuff she likes on facebook, because of privacy settings and im not friends with her on there. but i know people who are and shes liking things about relationships. saying that shes ‘gonna be the one im thinking about in 20 years time (more to it than that) and ‘maybe we’ll meet again when we’re older and our minds less hectic’(again more to it than that) and one going on about how they feel sorry for me and i was the most amazing boy ever and shes moved on’ again more to it than that.

so i sent her a message, just simple. i dont THINK its needy…

i said

love you. hope youre doing well.

because she knows ill always love her. she has a very special place in my heart and im sure its reciprocated.

this was a couple of minutes ago… she hasnt replied… wonder if she will. if she does, i wont respond

2

i know im not supposed to break no contact but, like people have said, its different when drugs are involved. especially when she doesnt deal with them too well. i cant believe her ex is letting her do them, he mustnt give a crap about her.

3

If she has an addiction, then she really can’t help it because it is like she can’t control it. She will need rehab or some other type of help to get off of them.

4

She replied and this is what was said

her

No you don’t. Got back to (my ex before her) she was the only thing that ever seemed good enough for you. Stop adding my family nobody wants to speak to you including me so just stop and let me get on with my life.

Then i said

Yes i do. Dont ever think i dont. Thats kinda how i feel with how you went back to (her ex before me). I dont give a crap about (my ex before her) and you know that. Dont be bitter. We had amazing times and they really mean more to me than all this. What family have i added? I do love you and i do care very very much about you and i am sorry i hurt you.

I really do want whats best for you. You deserve to be happy. If you ever really need anything you know ill be here for you. I could never not care about you

She said

No I am bitter. I want nothing to do with you. If I could erase you from my memory I would. You were a dickhead to me and I’m done. I have a different life with different people now and I’m so happy. That happiest I’ve been in a few years so please go away and let me forget you.

I said

Why are you bitter? Please tell me that? I thought this is what you wanted and that is a bit hurtful but i know you dont mean it in the long run. I know you know what we had was amazing. And please be careful with drugs. I know you dont need looking after but i do worry about you

She said

I hate you. You’re a bad person.
What I put in my body is my business. Don’t talk to me.

I said

Okay i know. Remember i love you. I reeeeeeeaally do

She said

And I am serious. Never think I’m not.

I said

About what?

She said

Everything I have said. You said I don’t mean it. I do.

I said

Oh i know you mean it… Glad youre doing well. Take care.

She said

And stop saying you love me. Feeling isn’t mutual and I don’t think it ever was.

Please delete my number and everything else you have about me

I said

Love you too. And hell no i care about you. I dont ever want to forget you

I got those awesome chat logs from facebook we have. God we were funny

She said

Well ive deleted yours

I said

My number? Still know who it is though i guess :stuck_out_tongue:

She said

It comes up with your email. Don’t think you’re that special.

I said

Hahaha cute :stuck_out_tongue: ill email those chat logs to you at some point

She said

I wont read them

I said

You might… At some point… Maybe.

She said

I live with (her ex before me) now.

You need to go away.

I said

Yeah okay im happy for you too

She said

Please stop and go away.

Then i said

I know you cant be happy with this. I know you hate me. I hate whats happened too. I do want you to be happy. I do want whats best for you. I do really love you and i always really have. You want me to stop and i will. But i will check with you from time to time to see how youre doing. I LOVE you. Best wishes xo

And that was hours ago now and she hasnt replied. What do you guys think?

5

If she really is on drugs, then it really doesn’t matter what you say… or do for that matter. The only people she is going to want to be with are people who support her drug use.

That doesn’t mean that she can’t turn it around, but right now, it sounds like she is more committed to the drugs than any sort of relationship.

6

yeah thats true i guess… guess all i can do is hope she snaps out of it

7

weve had contact over email for a bit as well. i sent her the conversations we had and she replied. i think she will always be willing to reply if i dont harass her too much. i think shes just telling me and herself things to try and forget about me. she tells me she doesnt care anymore but shes bitter and wants to erase all memory of me. she said she was gonna get the tattoo removed of our babies name that we lost. i said

jesus must have really hurt you! dont be sorry, i understand. do remember that do i care a lot about you. you know you wont forget right? 4 years is a long time and especially how close we were. i will be there for you when you stop hurting. id be here for you now if you wanted. i hope everything goes really well and you get what you want, i really do. id like to make you happy again, but theres no way im going to let that stop me making a better future for myself. you are beautiful the way you are, please look after yourself!

and she told me to go away again.

but still makes it possible for me to contact her? she could completely block me if she wanted. i dont think she wants to forget

8

what do you guys think?

9

Well I think you should give her some space now buddy, at least for a week or something! You’ve made contact, you can let her cool down a bit!

10

yeah i do plan on it. ill give her longer than a week, maybe 2, maybe more. she obviously thought i didnt love her (i guess because my ex before her added me on facebook and i didnt contact her for a while) so im glad i reminded her.

she says she doesnt care but then tells me she hates me. she said she wouldnt read the logs i sent her, but she did. she told me. she could just not reply to me, but she does when i give her something to reply to. she says she doesnt want to remember me but she hasnt blocked me on facebook, blocked my phone number, blocked my email address or anything. is that a sign she wants me to talk to her… eventually? i would like to know why she says she hates me. is it because im dealing with this better than she thought? or is it still the stuff i did after we broke up (it wasnt really that bad, ive heard a lot worse stories)?

11

ok I thnk that shes still really hurt. give her time and space. I also think she needs to get off those drugs and away from those type of people. you have a hard situation in front of you. stay strong. :slight_smile:

12

thank you. who knows if itll happen. but like you said, still has strong feelings for me. hope she gets off the drugs soon and realizes they arent doing her any good. her facebook likes are confusing. she doesnt know i can see them

13

she says shes trying to forget about me but all our pictures are still on her facebook?

14

people say lots of things and she probably has them there for a reason but who knows. give her space for now. stay strong you can do this and keep working on yourself and having fun. :slight_smile: go on dates if you can. :slight_smile:

15

yeah thats true and things change! just like a wider perspective than my own! i miss stuff with only my perspective! will give her time now. more time. think she expects me to message her now so i wanna give her enough time to wonder if im gonna message again… glad i did message her though, i think. when i told her i loved her, she told me i didnt. so im glad i got a chance to remind her.

i am working on myself and having fun… still trying to work out what i can do by myself again but :stuck_out_tongue: realise i shared my power with her and now im taking it off her. be a man and be respectful again. thats actually a funny concept to me actually. ive had plently of girlfriends right… but none of them have been my doing… how does one approach setting up a date? with someone new? could ask people i know but honestly, i was a different person growing up through school and theyre gonna still have that image of me in their heads? should i just ask women for numbers? how do they like this done?

16

theres dating websites you can go on and set up dates. keep doing good for yourself. :slight_smile: and if you think you did good then you know what your talking about. stay strong and take your power back. :slight_smile: hey would you mind reading my lastest post and giving me your opinion on it. :slight_smile:

17

with dating websites, im a little worried to use. my ex has been known to use them, a lot. and i dont want her to think im only signing up for her. i dunno what shed think, what do you reckon? of course ill give my opinion. :slight_smile:

18

I think it shouldnt matter what she thinks and you should go on them on the other hand you could always try craigslist in your area. :slight_smile: thanks :slight_smile:

19

i might give it a shot! why not. thank you