Thought I was making progress, but now wondering if I should give up?

Hello all,

I finished the 30 days of no contact a couple of weeks ago. Once it was over I texted my ex-boyfriend and just simply asked how he was doing. After the break up and prior to no contact, I was texting him and calling him all with no response at all. I was terrified I had lost him forever and as a result I am sure I came off a little needy and desperate.

Surprisingly he responded when I texted after the no contact - just a very neutral response - said he was okay and just busy with work. Also said he wasn’t mad about anything that was said during and just after the break up. Pretty brief conversation. Since then we’ve had several longer and friendlier conversations. I did ask to meet up at one point and he initially said maybe and it would depend on when he got back from working out of town. Long story short when the day came he was too exhausted and had to work later that day. I just told him that was fine and didn’t suggest another day or anything at the risk of coming off too desperate.

Despite the fact that meeting up didn’t work out I still felt I was making progress. We talked again and had a good conversation - he gave me some advice on a work situation. Then last night he texted me and we talked back and forth for quite a while. All was going okay and then he asked why I hadn’t found someone else yet. This was surprising that he asked me that. I just said “I don’t know, I guess I’m picky”. He said something to the effect of “well don’t wait forever”. This pissed me off. I stopped responding. He asked if I was upset. I just said that I didn’t care for the comment but I was fine. He said he knew I wanted a good, committed relationship and I should have that. I took this as him basically telling me to move on. Am I overreacting to this or should I just move on? Or maybe do no contact again? I could really use some advice. I’m starting to wonder if this is worth all the time, effort, and stress.

By the way, I’ve really followed all of Kevin’s rules and I worked on myself during the 30 days of no contact. I even went on one date (it was not good). But maybe I need to not talk to him so I will be more open to meeting other men?

Did you ask him the same question? I think you should ask if he’s moved on…

Hi,

Yes actually I did ask and he said he is not seeing anyone. Kept stressing how busy he is with work. I’m very confused. I’m thinking maybe I should resume no contact again? Any advice is appreciated!!

Hey

I think he is in the “I like her but not enough to be together with her”.
So it is still a work in progress

Actually, if he asks you about your relationship status, it means he is interested in you. It does not have to be a romantical interest, but it is a very good sign.

I think you should not give up.
BTW, I like your answer “I’m picky” :wink:

I wouldn’t asume a full no contact. Maybe a little break of one week or so

But I see, that this topic is a bit older. So how is your situation now?