Hi my friends
Yesterday i saw my ex girlfriend once again at work.its so difficult.i tried not to pay attention very hard.
we work in a club and yesterday actually i had a good day after a long time.
Dancing and having fun.(i play music)
also flirting with another girl.i think my ex saw that…at the end of the night my ex gave me a look like she was seeing me for the first time.
or like she expected me to go and talk to her.i don’t know.but yesterday was the first time after 14 days of NC that we had an eye contact like this!
im thinking stop NC and talk to her.i miss her and love her.i think she does to.what i sould to?please i need an advice here…
You will see her next weekend again right?
i see her kaila 4 days in a week because we work together…
ok so… my opinion is see how things develop the next week
thanks for the reply kaila.its very difficult to do NC because we met 4-5 days un a week.i dont know if you understand it.everytime i see her i wanna talk to her.any advice gives ne strebgth.thank you…
Hmm… you could talk to her, because you see each other so often and ignoring her may be too rude or something. But I should not say that you miss her, just be plain to her and try to read her emotions. If you think she’s hiding feelings or pretending to be too happy, then you could ask how she is doing.
Would you guys read my post? I am really worried today a mutual friend said she was gonna talk to him to give him her perspective since none of his other friends deals with me on a regular basis. I am affraid he will say he doesn’t feel the same about me anymore… although just two weeks ago he said to me he would like to get back but isn’t ready and doesn’t know when he will … https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/he-says-he-would-like-to-get-back-but/
She started not speaking to me.and she started not to because she saw me with my best female friend.she thinks that we had something before her.
after she started i gave her space and i starded the NC.
if i speak to her i will break the NC.i really don’t know what to do.
Hi again.
I ve just learnd that my boss who is also a very friend of mine talk to my ex and told her that it is not good thing to tell about our separate to the others co workers because they gossip.
she told her not to say bad things about me because if we get back together sometime, what is she going to say?
She didn’t respond negative when my boss/friend told her that sometime maybe we get back together.
I don’t discuss anything with my co workers although I work in that club for 7 years and all the guy’s are friend of mine and she only works for 9 months!
Why she talk to the others? Should I told her stop doing this or leave it as it is?
I also didn’t told to my boss to talk with my ex.
Hi to all of you.
if you read my previous post I need en opinion.today I will start with my therapist to solve my issues and be a better person for me and if we get back together and for her.
I go out with my friends do things I like and tried not to think of her.i also work a lot.
I don’t know but a every day it’s more difficult to do NC maybe because I know that some point in the week I’m gonna see her.thats make it difficult.
also I know that that I have to make the contact because she is very ego selfish person.when she told me that she needed time she also told me that I have to many things to gain her trust again.
I realize my mistakes but she doesn’t.or she knows her mistakes and not admitted so she can have the upper hand if we get back.please read and previous post.
any response would be helpful.
okay i think u should not tell her to stop talking about you. you need to act like u dont mind what she says… this is also kind of a way how u can prove her u have changed and such. my boy also didnt want to admit his mistakes and i never wanted him too admit them. he is proud and his ego is big. so just… let her be and say what she wants. remember oppinion of other people does not define who you are! if she has smthn bad to say let her. I used to see my everyday since he lives in the next village and we know each other since kinder garden… i understand it is very hard not to talk to her and tell her what u would like to say, but trust me it is for your best if u want to reconcile one day. also the fact she didnt respond negative on what ur boss said, means she is not 100% sure that u will never reconcile but dont take this the wrong way and be sure of reconciling with her. For now focus on urself and learn to be happy without her. Then when u are able to be happy without her reach out. good luck
Thanks for the response tami420
I don’t know why is she doing that.talk to co workers etc.
Maybe is she way to reach out.i am not ready to talk to her.i just got back from therapist.do well I think.anyway.hope you are doing well with your situation.
any other feedback would be helpful.thanks in advanced.
If you are not ready just take some more time. But about the co-workers thing I think if it doesn’t stop you should call her aside and say that you should keep your matters personal and not bring them to work. That for all you guys went through, she should respect that. Keep it short and if she is all friendly try to act normal if she is cold be cold.
As I said I went to the therapist to solve my issues.i explained to him my case no with many details but enough to understand it.therapist asked me if I wanna talk to my ex and what to tell her.i response that I want to talk to her and tell her why we came to this point and if she see us together as a couple.he said to me that probably she will have positive reaction to all of this.
Therapist never told me to talk to her right now.perhaps he thinks that is mine decision to do it and when I am ready to do it…
I am very confused.stay NC or talk to her…I am not really ready.maybe afraid rejection.don’t know.take 3 days off to clear my mind and not see her at all.maybe stay 1 week NC and then make an approach. Any help?
This blog and starting therapy is very helpful.
everyone going to therapy and here I am waiting for it two months later meh
What are you waiting Kaila. To make contact your ex? Any news from your friend? In my previous posts I have some thoughts that NC doesn’t work in every case.maybe the 30 days are to many.thats why I am asking for opinions and read all the posts.to see how NC works to different cases.
I am waiting for an appointment to the psychologist. No news from my friend. Which is odd cause we were supposed to go to the gym in the morning and she didn’t even call. But last week something happened and she didn’t call either so maybe it’s that again. But still I ca’t help but think she is avoinding the talk because it’s bad.
I have never been a month without contact and we were close to getting back at the one month mark. But I am not sure if I could have changed something for the better. I think he was affraid I didn’t want anything anymore or something and from the moment I made it too obvious I was really eager he decided to put some space between us. Or maybe it was something else. I don’t really know. I planted the seed of us meeting up sometime soon. And now I think I will just not contact and work on myself. If he says something fine. If not later I’ll see what to do
Kaila i read in an scientific article that the NC is an abusive and manipulative rule for the feelings of our ex.the article says that we “force” our exs to miss us.maybe our exs deep down in their hurts understand that we do that and they keep distances or put space between us. I don’t know.i am really confused.i started NC because my ex came to work and didn’t speak to me.
I get from her mixed signals even she don’t speak to me.like she expected from me to talk to her.maybe I’m wrong.maybe the NC does work.i hope when you see your therapist maybe you feel better and get some answers.
I read that article. And it kind of made sense to me. If you break up and then want to get back and your ex just doesn’t answer that doesn’t give the right message.
With me, bfore we broke up he was gonna get me some stuff on a work trip. So after just a few days he texted to thank me for a letter I gave him after we broke up the same day. I didnt answer. Then the next day I asked him to call, we talked a bit about the relationship but not much and ended the talk on a positive note. Then a few days later or a week he texted because of that work trip. But he didn’t have time to get my those things so a week later he texted again saying that he was gonna be able to get them for me, and the next day or so he came and we talked for about an hour about stuff going on in our life. I had two piercings done and stuff and was thinking of starting gym so thats what we talked about. He said also that he was gonna look for that phone we said he would borrow me (so that I could send mine for repair9, and to text him the next day about it so he would remember to look for it. I didn’t. I didn’t text him for a week. Then when I did I asked about a restaurant we went too that was really good and I wanted to go there. And there he said two things he had to return to me and I took it that opportunity to arrange a meetup the next weekend. I even asked if we could go on his motorcycle. He loves riding and got me into riding as well. And so it was perfect. He was sweet, caring, grabbed my hand, was totally a date. But then I think I just got too happy when at the end he told me he had hopes things would work out. From that point on never again we had a meet up as good. I did NC for 15 days, didn’t say a thing on valentines day. And my thought is, I shouldnt have reacted like that when he said he would like things to work out, I probably shouldnt have even brought that up. And I shouldnt have done those 15 days no contact. This is my situation. 3 weeks after that great date we had we went out again, and he was colder and said he didnt wanted to give me false hope but he does would like to get back but is affraid, not ready and doesn’t know when or if he will be… then I talked a week later (a week ago) because it was his birthday. we met, gave him his gift. and now I am waiting for my friend that his a mutual one. she was with him this weekend to celebrate his birthday and she was gonna tell him that I have really changed. Now I am waiting to know how that went. and im scared.