Hi everyone,
Apologies for the length of this post.
My ex and i’s relationship was only eight months long but in that time both of us felt this was the best start to a relationship either of us had experienced. She was telling our mutual friends she “didn’t know a relationship could be this good” and she was “all in” on what we had.
While we were taking things slow, in reflection and with a clear head following the no contact period I recognise now I failed to see and capitalise on the clear signals she was sending me about meeting her parents, and I was avoiding having the difficult discussions around what we were both feeling, masking my love for her by throwing her surprise birthday parties etc.
As such, in hindsight I think the depth of our relationship plateaued and i didn’t make her feel secure in what we had.
We told each other we loved each other and she had tears in her eyes as she left overseas for a six week internship.
4 weeks in to the internship she told me she wanted to return overseas permanently ASAP and wanted to do so solo because she felt she had a clarity of which she hadn’t felt in years, but she hadn’t made up her mind and wasn’t sure how she’d feel once she got back.
Upon this I told her all of the things I should have before she left. but when she got back from the internship she said she felt the same way about moving away without me, and this relationship had given her anxiety because she was constantly wondering if she was good enough for me.
With communication being what I see as the main issue leading to the break up, when I end no contact will keeping the conversation light (as recommended by this site) give her the impression that I haven’t recognised my own short comings, and should I tell her straight up what I’ve learned?
Thanks in advance!