i dunno if wouldnt have worked either way. let me know what you guys think.
8 day in after not talking after we broke up,
I sent her that email about how i accepted the break up (i do)
and that im sorry for the things i did after the break up (i am)
and that very good things are happening in my life right now (they are)
and i reminded her about an antique tea set we both had that might get thrown out as its in storage.
she sent back to me, “please never message me again”
to which i responded, “dont be like that. are you angry at me?! what about the stuff you have of mine?”
to which she replied, “I’m not angry. I just don’t care anymore. what happened that night completely ended any form of us makig things better, even being friends. You can have your stuff back mum said she will drop it round. I don’t want to be around somebody like you. You’re a mean nasty person.”
to which i said, "Okay I can understand that. I know i acted appallingly… Please understand why I behaved like I did. I said and did some strong things I know I shouldnt have because of how strongly I felt. I was very emotional. I know its no excuse but i guess i saw that as the end right there and then. you said you couldnt be friends with me if we ever broke up. I wish I could change what happened that night I really do. I wish I took a page out of my own book and acted like a mature man. You know I’m not normally like that. At all! in all the time youve know me, have I ever done anything like that? you know as well as i do everyone has that capacity for nastiness if something means that much to them. Im not mean and nasty, you know me, you know that. If thats what you want to think then okay, i accept that. But you want to discard me and countless amazing times because of one time I acted terribly when the worst possible thing i could imagine was going on?
I know what i did was emotionally terrible and thats exactly what you didnt need right now. I wish i could just hold you like i used to and caress your face. I loved caring about you. I know we both acted immature and spiteful in our relationship and i realise now thats what killed it. I should have just let you love me, not worrying about anything else and just enjoy being in love.
I know you don’t want to hear it but its just so sad whats happened to our friendship. but you know that. I know I cant change anything but everything thing weve been through together means so much to me. and I know you want to just forget it all, i really dont blame you. I dont expect anything from you, to accept my apology, to be friends or even talk. I just want you to know that I truly am sorry. I want you to know im not going to let it happen again, with anyone. I want to be a better person. You helped me a lot with that. Thank you for everything really, youve meant a lot to me. So much and thats why I acted how i did.
I know ive caused you more stress than you need and I know Im doing that now. Im sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry if im doing that now. I hope everything works out for you I really do, you deserve the best, dont ever forget it. You are the most amazing person Ive ever met. Thank you for all the amazing times and memories, they will be cherished.
I know you dont want to read all these words, especially from me. I just really hope everything we had and been through together means as much to you as it does to me. I will miss you.
Tell your mum thank you for that. Hows this going to work? I dont suppose youd give me my ring back? it did mean a lot to me. Its okay if you dont want to. it is yours after all.
sorry about all the writing -.- i really am. I dont want make your life harder, ive always wanted to make it easier, better, interesting and fun. I do love you. even if its not in love, or not matter how far away you are, you will always have a very special place in my heart.
all the best darling"
to which she replied, “Just go away.”
to which i replied, "Sorry i hurt you. Ill leave you be. Let me know whats happening with my stuff. i need some things for the interview with asc/mta
take care of yourself please"
what do you guys think? am i screwed in getting her to want to be my friend again?
we have a long history, 5 years of being best best friends. literally nothing to hide from each other. probably why our relationship was so hard.
she saw her ex right after we broke up and i got pretty angry and said some horrible things to her (that she really cares about but what i said wasnt true) and i called the police out of spite (her ex is a crackhead)… i know i did dumb things but surely you guys understand how i feel. what i did doesnt warrant that kind of responce does it?