She suddenly ignored me... Kevin please help!

no-contact-rule
1

Hello kevin.
Me and my ex were together for about 6 months. Briefly, these were the highlights of the relationship to give you an idea.:

At first she was the one obsessed with me while I wasn’t taking it too seriously. Later on I started taking it more seriously and started spending more time with her, buying her gifts, taking her out to fun places. meanwhile, her interest seemed to be decreasing slowly (and I think the reason is that I spoiled her and she got used to me)

Few weeks ago, I invited her to go out with me and some friends through text, she didn’t reply. (she wasn’t dead/sick or anything. I could see her going online and posting on Facebook, so simply she had no excuse of ignoring my invitation). After 10 days I called and asked her what’s going on, she said she was depressed.
I tried to understand what’s making her depressed she never answered, we argued for mins about how I was upset that she hasn’t talked to me in 10 days, and how she’s less interested in me than before. then we just hanged up).
later that night, I felt that maybe I was wrong and maybe she WAS truly depressed and that maybe she needed me on her side, so I called her and apologized and told her that I wish things get better with her. She was positively surprised by my call, she even thanked me and apologized sincerely too. so I thought things went back to normal…

However,
2 weeks later, still no call no contact from her (neither from me). So I told myself that I’m gonna call and confront her about it, if she wanna break up, let’s break up! because I needed to move on with my life.
I called, no answer… called later at night, no answer still). Left her a txt “Hey call me when you can” she replied an hour later “I will call you later”… she didn’t call…

Since then, no contact at all.
It’s been 5 days since that txt.

My main question is:
Would that (calling 10 days after the ignoring, then calling again a week later) give her the impression that I am needy or desperate?
I have a feeling that while we were together, she was seeing another guy and starting the ignoring phase since then…

If she calls, should I answer?
Remember, there was no official break up… it just her ignoring completely out of no where.
So if she calls and I don’t answer, I think that will make things worse.

Note on the side: last time we hung out we were BOTH definitely having fun, we even had sex! but I’m just surprised how and why she left…

2

Extra Info:
( I already read How to Get Your Ex Back Perm. but I thought it would be better if I provide my problem specifically)

The reason why I think It’s not a good idea to not to answer if she calls, because we are supposedly not talking because she’s “depressed”. So do you think it’s a good idea to answer and keep it cool as if there’s nothing wrong? or should I still ignore and wait 30 days?
Keep in mind that she has been “depressed” for over 3 weeks now… So it’s almost certain it’s breakup without explicitly stating it.

What do you think?
Any suggestions?

3

HELP ANYONE??

4

First of all whats the real reason of her “depressed”??

5

Thanks for the reply.
That’s the thing I couldn’t figure out, although its probably just an excuse for her to leave me.
When we talked on the phone, I asked her why… I asked her if I had anything to do with it? or if she was mad at me. But she would never answer. Then I asked her how have you been doing lately?
she said she was going to school and hanging with her friends!
So I told her "so you’re not going out/talking to me because you’re depressed. However you’re hanging out with your other friends. She started hesitating, and then she was like “I just don’t wanna talk about it!”. Then I told her “okay… I’m not gonna keep asking.” Then she started talking non-sense like “I’m a bitch! are you happy now?!” or “I just wanna be friends with you!” or “all you wanna do is have sex with me!” or “you don’t care about me!”… note: none of that is true, she even knows that. she was just angry and yelling, and I was speaking calmly trying to hold my emotions…
I’m just afraid that she’s going out with someone else, either because she wanna forget me, or because she did really find someone she liked better than me… At the same time I’m still confused, because I feel it deep inside that she still loves me but she’s trying to find a reason to hate me or leave me because, I think, she finds herself too attached to me.

I’m not sure if that’s helping. I am as well confused. I’m just surprised how all of a sudden she left. Last night we were together, we were perfect. but idk, since that time she stopped talking, everything has changed.

6

Well could I ask how old is she ? I think she is confused too…
young girls just want others to pay attention to them so just say or do something ridiculous…like hot and cold now and then…say herself a b!tch then waited you to comfort her/say something nice to her…maybe that’s why she felt “depressed”…cuz she said "you don’t care about me"maybe she thought if she felt depressed you must come to her and treat her better??
Anyway u can try to do NC and go to visit her, give her space and time , stop dramatic yelling and being angry when you and her should communicate sincerely.

7

SHE JUST CALLED!!!

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LIKE RIGHT EFFING NOW!!! IM NOT GONNA ANSWER!!!

9

OMG! i’m not gonna get too excited… I didn’t answer… and she’s 23, I’m 23 as well… few weeks older

10

OMG keep us updated!

11

She called me again later tonight… about 5 hours later… I didn’t answer either…
If she keeps calling in the next few days, should I answer? or send a txt? or do nothing?
I wanna make her miss me for a little bit, prove to her that I’m not NEEDING her, and get the relationship balanced again.
what do you think?

12

If she keep calling u send her a msg: I need space and time.
I don’t want she feel cruel about ignoring her call:)
What do u think ?

13

Exactly I was thinking of a similar thing:
“Hey… I think I need space and time. Only call me if it’s an emergency or something urgent”

I wanna get this relationship balance thing going on by leaving her for a little, at the same time I wanna show her that I still care for her and I’m-still-there-if-you-need-help type of thing

Good?

14

Did u send “only call me if it’s an emergency or something urgent”???

15

No I didn’t send anything yet. She called today again, I didn’t answer. Then she texted saying that she’s really sorry and she admitted she was selfish.

What do you think I should say?
And what’s wrong with saying that “call me only in emergencies?”

16

she sent u that ?she misses u!
I think you can reply her now ,take things slowly!

you can reply her “ok” or "I still need space and time."then make her out after 2 days.
don’t send her “only call me in emergencies”, a little rude in my opinion…:stuck_out_tongue:

17

SURE!
I will reply with space and time thing

Yea that actually does sound rude. that wasn’t my intention thou, but yea

And thanks Vanessa! you are really helping :smiley:

18

you are welcome !
good luck !
keep us updated!:slight_smile:

19

So I was thinking about contacting her next week. That’s 5 weeks since we seen each other and 3 weeks since we talked on the phone.
Do you think that’s good?
Should I make it longer/shorter?

20

And also that’s 1 week since she texted and apologized

What do you think?