So my previous post was pretty long ;shall try to cut this one shorter and make it more organized.
My ex bf and I were in a serious committed relationship for a year. We met online last year and fell in love a month later. I horribly wronged him. Catfished him - faked my name and photos (he was just someone i had met online so was skeptical of him). Didnt feel good about the lie but neither of us thought we would build such a bond so didnt bother rectifying then. Lie started pinching me badly as we got in a relationship. By that point,the fear of losing him held me back. He had immense respect for me and we both were heavily emotionally invested;so it was a nightmare.I kept up with this false charade for a year.
Anyways,so i finally mustered some courage and told him the truth a year later.He was of course shocked and felt hurt and betrayed.He said he doesnt want to lose me because of what we shared but at the same time can’t say we are in a relationship anymore and also begged me to not be hopeful of him feeling the same for me again.He never disappeared on me though but we started having frequent fights/arguments and each argument ends with him saying “Given my current state of mind,i dont see “we” being a possibility” and then we get back to normal again the next day.
Since June,one great progress that he has made is moving on from that photo girl’s image and accepting me completely for who i am(my looks and name). Now,at times gets very flirty,romantic and emotional. Sends kisses and calls me affectionate names. But then sorta withdraws after a while (or after 2-3 days). He’s very moody as a person anyway. He started getting bit sexual(twice) since last 2 weeks and I told him that i still love him.He said “i’d be lying if I said I dont have feelings for you. I still feel something special for you ,even now,although I dont know what.I still lack trust”. We got in a fight last week when i casually asked if he likes me to which he said “i honestly dont know”.So when we fought about it,he said “yes,i said i still have some feelings for you but not with the intention of wanting a relationship”.
And then 2 days ago(i fell sick) he said “whatever i may feel or not feel for you,i want you to know that keeping that one thing aside,you are still the nicest girl i have ever met and i really care about you and always want you to be happy”.
We talk everyday and remain connected throughout the day,though,he’s not as into me as he used to be when we were together but always initiates contact first.
Do you think he still loves me ? Do you think it’s salvageable? I still love him so much. Most importantly,do you think we should just strictly remain platonic friends or is it okay if we get flirty and talk sexual at times?
Thank you!!