That website didn’t make sense to me. But maybe I’m just too distraught right now.
I just want to be single forever now. If I’m able to get through this.
Thanks for listening. I was doing so good, thought I was doing so well…I don’t know anymore. What’s the point?
Day 7: Yesterday went terribly. I guess I couldn’t believe that he would so quickly looking to date. I cried hysterically yesterday, and somehow made it through the day. Today, I’ve worked on myself and have found some peace within myself by reading the book I had mentioned before. I’ve reached out to good friends and family members who comforts me and it has definitely helped. I am starting to see a light at the end of tunnel and my heavy heart lightening a little bit at a time. I’m glad it wasn’t a total setback since I worked so hard from Day 1.
I don’t know if I have hope, in retrospect I don’t think he loved me as much as I did because I’m starting to see signs I had missed. I only saw the signs I wanted to see. Now that we live in opposite coasts of the US, I don’t know how this could ever work out in the future. I know that I won’t take him back immediately if he decided to come back now. I am starting to see the things he didn’t do that in liked, the things that were missing…hopefully, by day 30, I’ll be convinced that it really was for the best that he broke it off.
I am active on Tinder and okc just talking to guys and flirting and thinking about the possibilities that could happen.
But like everyone else here, I’m still not over him, but I know that the way it was going, it was best that this happened. He wasn’t ready for a formal commitment of moving in together which would have been our next step.
Perhaps it’s best to give up hope for my case, don’t you think?
Don’t give up hope but lower your expectations. So much in life is about setting expectations (and meeting them). I say don’t give up because you should continue the 5 step plan. As for match.com I suggest you disable your account. My ex was on okc and I did the same thing. Look and check, cry about the photos that I took she was using, and it was not helping. I stopped when I realized there is nothing I could do about it and it was just upsetting me. It is natural to start to question the relationship and see faults and reasons why that person was not a good match. If it helps use those things to get you through the pain. Continue NC and then see how you feel at the end of it. This whole process is a combination of sadness, anger, and confusion. Everyone here is feeling the same things so continue to share and reach out.
Also I found this site today, geared towards men, but I am sure some things apply to your situation. I also read this expert has a women’s site as well. http://exgirlfriendrecovery.com/how-to-know-if-your-ex-girlfriend-wants-you-back/#comment-3137
I always want to hold on to hope for something I want so badly. I just want her back. But looking at what she is doing online is just making me sad. I have barely logged onto FB because I don’t want to see anything. It doesn’t stop it from happening but I won’t know about it if it does.
@ bguarino, thanks for that link. I found the over for women trying to get their guy back. Haven’t divulged into it yet. I don’t have an active account on match, I just went in to see if he was on it. But I stopped looking at his profile, and the women he’s probably talking to right now. It’s funny, but I think we get a certain pleasure from giving ourselves more pain.
Day 8: I had a great night last night. Went out with some friends and got a little drunk. It was fun to be free, to feel light and happy. I really was happy yesterday. But I have to start all over the next day…like I had to today. But I think overall, it’s getting better day by day. My heart is more still and don’t have the urge to cry as much anymore. Also realized that I need to change jobs and start a career. I also want to move and start over somewhere new, possibly in San Francisco. I love the vibe out there. So, I’m starting to look for jobs, or looking into grad schools out there and start to sell my shit here. Have lived in this place for sixteen years, it’s time to move.
Haven’t heard a peep from him. Maybe he won’t till I contact him to get my things back. I almost just want to never contact him because I don’t really need those things back…but who knows how it will turn out?
Gotta be positive, gotta make positive changes, gotta keep moving…life doesn’t stop for anyone.
But I miss him, sooo much, it makes my eyes water when I think about missing him. My head, heart, and mind are constantly going all over the place…wish they would be still and at peace. Hope, soon I will be normal again and be able to eat properly for once. I hate him for doing this to me. I hate that he just discarded me instead of working through it. I hate him.
Day 12 update:
He contacted me yesterday. He said, “hey, Just wanted to day hello, that’s all. Hope you have a great day.” I didn’t obviously pick up or return his phone call and today is my birthday. So, maybe he wants to call again today to wish me happy birthday. Also, day before yesterday, I got really brave and deleted him from Facebook, deleted all our messages, voicemails, and hid our pictures from my sight. Either the Facebook deletion prompted him to call, or my birthday. Either way, remind me again why I shouldn’t pick up if he calls again today? What might be going through his mind?
Hey, you’re doing really great. Keep that spirit. And yes… happy birthday 
Don’t pick up his call. Don’t reply to his texts. Don’t break NC. I broke NC and I am feeling really studlpid because everything was going great but I destroyed it.
So continue with NC. He wants to wish you afterall its your birthday. So this is a positive news.
You are doing great! That is good that you were brave enough to delete him off fb.
I broke NC.
It was awful. She said that there was no chance she could ever have feelings for me other than just a friend. I don’t understand how someone loses attraction like that.
And happy birthday!
Thanks, I seriously thought I would be over it by now. But alas, I’m still here!
When we had our break-up conversation, I told him I would never talk to him again and I thought he would remember that and never call me. I don’t know why he called. Why would you call to say ‘hello’ after you broke up with someone? Boggles my mind, but anyway, I guess I need to stay on track and continue with nc.
I am leaving for a ten day vacation…hopefully, I’ll be in a really good place when I get back.
Thanks for you support and reminder that I did the right thing by ignoring his phone call. It helps to know that it’s the right thing because I sure don’t know what’s the right thing!
Thanks.
Got a text: “hey you, happy birthday. I still care about you.”
I ignored it. But it did break my heart a little. Maybe, he won’t message anymore.
What does it mean? He just feels bad because I was suppose to spend my birthday with him?
This is a positive news and good job not replying. Its working.
He ll try to contact more trust me. so happy for you
I think it is good news! Have fun on your vacation and come back a person who is relaxed. Maybe some of the sadness will lift.
I have given up hope. I broke NC after 7 days, and she was pretty cold. Said some mean things to me. It is so hard. So, I guess I am still in NC permanently. I still want her back.
I feel like it doesn’t mean anything. I secretly want it to mean something, but I don’t think it does. He knows I’ll be away on vacation…so don’t think he’ll contact me anymore.
Travelbug- that text was very positive. Just saying happy birthday is a good thing, but he also added- I still care about you.
Many people, myself included, would be happy if their ex just contacted them on their birthday.
Ok, I broke nc…don’t know if it was a mistake but I don’t feel any regrets or I don’t care if he says anything else or not.
I just replied saying “thanks!”, that’s it. This was in the reply to his text two days ago when he said “happy birthday, I still care for you.”
I am leaving for vacation tomorrow for two weeks, so I’ll try to come back a changed person.
Was it a really bad idea?
Well yes and no, you took 2 days to respond thats good, but you shouldnt have said anything, if he texts you back dont answer and start Nc again right away.
I don’t know, like what’s the point? We are all trying to move on right? In one of Kevin’s email I got today, it says don’t be rude if they contact you
Exactly, what is the point? I know that I want my ex back, but the only thing I can really do is try to make my life the best it can be with her. I understand NC and re-attraction, but the key part of it is making sure that your life is good so whether or not you get your ex back, your life is still great.
I use to always say if it is meant to be, then nothing you do can ruin it. I don’t know if I believe that anymore. But I certainly don’t think one “Thanks!” text can make or break. You know?
Have we heard from anyone who actually gets their ex back permanently? I would like to hear those stories. I do have one friend from whom that happened. They were broken up for maybe 2 months?
I’ve been texting with him today. He’s hurting and wanted to explain himself. I listened and told him I understood and I am not mad.
I feel good about it. I know he misses me and I feel like I have more power now.
I don’t know what I am going to do. But I leave for vacation tomorrow so maybe I’ll have more clarity when I get back.
Surprisingly, I feel better. Not sure if it’s a false sense of security, but it’s nice to hear from him.