Rebound?

Hello,

I have general situation I guess, but still would like to ask your opinion about it to let go, my friends are super supportive but still is nice to have a total outsider point of view.

so my story in a nutshell, I met my ex 2,5 years ago and he was my first real serious relationship, after one week he told me that he is in love with me and never felt like this with his previous girlfriends, our relationship was really strong and we were inseparable after 2 months he moved in and since then we were living together, we had total trust and faith in each other and many times he mentioned that I am it for him. We always talked about our problems, mine was that during the relationship I gain weight which he did not bother him that much or at least he did not say it to me, and his issue was that he could not get a job and was not independent financially but I have supported him not just with money but emotionally as well. I tried to help him to get a job but after lots of rejection he became desperate, I have a good job and a flat and a car too which he could use anytime, the only income that he had was the rent money from his apartment. We did not fight that much but I was a little bit frustrated that what is our future but he always told me that since we are here for each other nothing else matters and we can work it out and he will find a job. we were passionate about one an other and we sad love you and act it like that too. His friends were happy that he is with a girl who is normal and nice with him (previous girlfriends were crazy according to them). Then came this June when we were fighting a little bit more then usually about the future and money issues, and he was more stressed then normally, I asked him if he wanted to break up and he sad no way I am the only stable person in his life but he admitted that our relationship at this moment is not 100 %. Then suddenly he got a job opportunity 2 hours away for 2,5 month, and he accepted it which meant that we will do long distance and the job was not even that good and permanent. 3 days before he broke up with me he told me that he does not want to break up with me and we will manage we can travel and then it will be all okey but the money is really important for him as he had some loans as well. I supported him and he wrote me like he did and called me while we were away, he often sad that he misses our bed and can not wait to be at home our home, then he came home and wanted to take a break which I did not wanted then he packed his things under 1 hour and started to cry for 30 mins sad that maybe is a mistake but he is not in love with me anymore (in May he was so in love with me that he could not take his hands of me) and he is very sorry and I was the best girlfriend and there is no other girl he wants to be alone, he cried so hard that my heart was broken. We had such a good relationship full of love and affection, he also told me that he was struggling with this decision for 2 weeks but never really talked about it with me. After he left and I contacted him 2 times I wanted to know the reason because I am not in love with you is not an acceptable reason after 2,5 years I deserve more after I have done everything for him. I asked again if there is another girl he sad no, I asked if the money was the problem he sad no now he has a job, then I asked my weight he sad no. Then it turned out that before our break up we went to a b-day party to one of my best friend and there was a girl an almost 10 years younger then us, who was totally my opposite without any correct job he still lives at home and just came out from a long term relationship and still in love with his boyfriend and the reason was for their break up (the girl broke up with him) that he does not have a job. So my ex started to talk to her and after our break up 3 weeks they started to date, now he is posting on instagramm how happy he is and wants to show that he made a good decision, I was the one that blocked him from every social media sight, because he would not do it not even after the break up, it was still on facebook that he is in a relationship with me even tough he was already with someone else and 24 hours after our break up he was at this girl’s house. He talked to my best friend or at least tried because she would not talk to him so his boyfriend replied to leave them out this. He made up excuses like he could not talk to me about anything (big fat lie), and that we were living together like friends (also a big fat lie, I don’t know about you guys but I am not sleeping with my friends and not cuddling with them ) I assume this is a rebound for both of them, as I have read in here about rebound he checks all the boxes. It has been 5 weeks since he broke up with me I try to put myself together, loosing weight traveling enjoying that I have more money because I do not have to spend on him as well (like food, going out, clothes for him). My friends are happy that we broke up although all of them liked him very much, he is not a bad person just very insecure as he is not achieving anything in life, and most of my friends and my mom (who is the most rational and logical person ever) that he will want to come back to me within a few months once he will face the reality and his job ends. But I can not shake one feeling, how can he leave me like this? How can that so much emotion and love just fade in one second? He loved my friends and family and this girl is nothing next to me she is so young and will not be able to support him like I did , not just financially (which I will not continue) plus she is not that smart, I have met her couple of times, plus one of my best friend knows her well and she is not falling for guys like this. I can not imagine what they have in common. The other strange thing is that he is very careful with the social media and he always told me that after the break up with the previous girlfriends he always blocked them and his friends as well, in our case he still liking my mom my friends and did not block them. He became someone else and I do not understand him at all. his best friend came over and talked to me as we he did not informed him about why he is breaking up with me and he told me that he will never find a girl like me and he needs to think it over and will rethink and wants to come back to me. but so far I do not think so, and the pictures are posting are so disgusting calling her the best girlfriend not even after 1 month our break up. Just would like to know your opinion, sorry for the long post.
thank you,
Daisy

@daisy88 - Nobody falls in love in only one week! Love develops over time. Moving in with someone after only 2 months is not wise! People should get to know each other very well first. It seems he was taking advantage of you for a long time with you paying for everything, he had it easy. He might be a nice guy, but he has no ambition to better himself and become a financially stable person. It doesn’t matter why he’s with the other girl and you should not even think about it anymore. The sad thing is, he will probably come crawling back to you if he loses his job or the other girl leaves him. You must know that you deserve a better man! I’m sorry this happened to you, but there are other guys out there who could love you and be in a much better position for marriage and family. Please don’t stalk social media as it will only serve to depress you. The best thing to do is move on and eventually you will find someone else who can make you very happy! Wishing you luck…

@patricia12 thank you for your comment, yes you are right and I am trying to convince myself that I do not need him in my life but he was my first love and we had such a special connection, yes he took advantage of the situation but he tried to compensate what he had, so it is a 50 % of taking advantage of the situation he wanted to achieve but he could not… so he got depressed and wanted to move on and as I was a constant reminder of his failures. The thing that bothers me the most is that after 2,5 years of love and caring for each other and being in a serious adult relationship, how is it possible to move on so quickly to a girl who is 10 years younger and lives at home and does not have the same interest? he does not even think of me anymore and is he over me that quickly? Yes our love started really quickly but during that time it developed into a deep connection I was his best friend as well as his girlfriend. Yes he is a nice guy but now everyone around me wants to tell him off and they are really mad. I am not stalking or contacting him at all but my friends see what he is posting all the time and everyone says that this girl is not right for him and he will want to come back but I do not think this anymore according to the piece about the rebound it clearly is one but how he could do this? I was not enough? okey I gained weight and started to be frustrated about the future and money. have I mistaken him for an other person? can someone be someone else for 2,5 years?

@daisy88 - You need to look at the situation logically. To me it’s obvious he took advantage of you when you let him move in with you and helped him out financially. There were arguments about money. He’s with another girl now and you need to stop wondering why he picked someone 10 years younger and different than you. The answer doesn’t matter! Facts are facts and he dumped you. When guys dump a girl, they have been thinking about doing it for a long time, but can act normal until they make that final decision. So he moved out, but where is he living now? You are a good person and deserve better.

@patricia12 thank you for your opinion, i will ger over it it does not matter what happens in the future i am working on myself and i deserve better. And once he wants to crawl back i will not let him by then i will be much better and over him. This decesion was the worst for him but the best for me. Thank you again.