Pregnant and my baby's father broke up with me

Please forgive the really long post to follow. I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant, the father of my child broke up with me a little more than 2 months ago. We were together for 5 and a half years, and then last year in August we broke up. Long story short, I found out he was on a few dating websites talking to other women, he swore up and down he didn’t actually meet any of them but the betrayal was too much for me to handle so I ended things with him. We continued to speak and hang out after the breakup, neither of us got over the other, so at the beginning of this year we decided to give it another chance because we loved each other so much. Fast forward a couple of months, everything was going well, and then we found out that I was pregnant. We were both very nervous as neither of us were ready to have a child. We were both very stressed and concerned which put strain on our newly rekindled romance.

He started acting distant almost immediately after finding out about my pregnancy, which I figured was from the stress of everything. Then I was told by one of his family members that he had asked his cousin if her friend was single, and that if she was he would have to ask her out for a coffee. I was so taken aback; that I confronted him about it, not even angrily, just very sad and upset. Here I was pregnant with his child and he is wanting to ask out this girl he met for an hour, who has a five year old daughter herself. Which confused me further since he was so freaked out about becoming a parent. We didn’t talk about it that night; he came downstairs the following morning and told me that he owed me an explanation. He said that; for the first couple of months of being back together everything was good. But then the spark was fading, and he realized that I wasn’t his soul mate. And that he loves me but he wasn’t in love with me. This crushed me, as I didn’t see it coming at all. For the next few weeks we still spoke pretty often and saw each other quite frequently, his idea not mine, which I thought might mean that he was just very scared and didn’t mean everything he said as he was acting as though we were together. He told me that he was re-considering his decision, and I told him to make sure that he was not just wanting to get back together for our baby, because if that was the case, he wouldn’t be happy because he would be doing it out of obligation. He took a few days to think about it and decided against trying again. Devastated, pregnant, and with no support system where I was living I decided that I would move back home which is 4 and a half hours from where he lives. I didn’t have the financial ability to support myself and live there on my own, and needed the support of my family with a baby on the way. Since moving back, because I am pregnant and he does want to be involved and is now very excited to be becoming a father (and I am very happy as well) we text and talk pretty frequently, at least every other day. Mostly about the baby, but how everything is going with the other, how our families are, to some more inappropriate conversations. We have never argued since breaking up. I saw him last month at a friend’s birthday party and of course we ended up sleeping together but also spending 4 days together, having dinner and coffee with his parents. At the end of that visit he told me that he loved me. I said it back but didn’t want to push it any further, not wanting to seem needy or push too hard too fast. I just got back from spending another 5 days with him, but this time he told me that he is very confused about his feelings. He said he still has deep feelings for me, but he is just very confused about to what level they are. He told me there isn’t anyone else, I didn’t ask, but he knows me well enough to know that’s where my mind would go. Essentially, he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me in the future but he isn’t sure that he wouldn’t want to be. He hasn’t told many people that we aren’t together anymore, but I think this is because he’s afraid of how he will look, when I am pregnant and he broke up with me. He has added a few girls to facebook, who I know he had previously been interested in, and I know that he has told them that they are beautiful/sexy, and that he’s single, so excited to be becoming a father etc… His cousin is the one who told me all of this because she knows the two girls and they told her. He hasn’t asked them out or anything, but it seems like that is the direction it’s headed in. I’m left very confused. I know that he cares about me, I can see it in his face when we talk. I don’t know if it was all of the stress from an unplanned baby, or if this was inevitable. I know that I have done a million things against the steps that are recommended, I only just came across this website today. Does anyone have any advice on how I should move forward? I want him back, but if it seems hopeless I would like to know that too. Any advice would be appreciated.

Can anyone offer me advice?

In my opinion he broke up with you not just because the baby. As you told he went to dating websites during your first relationships and looked up for girls. I guess that he just feels that he hasn’t gotten enough fun in life or something like this… Sure that he has some feelings for you if you have dating such long while and moreover you are caring his baby but he is still too afraid to be obligated to you. Nobody can ever know for sure if you will be get together or not, only the practical future shows. Maybe you also will get back together and then break up again even few times it happened to many people, or you will get back forever, or maybe you will be happy with somebody else. No one can ever know it for sure. My advice to you is just to be opened minded for everything that might be and believe in good… Anyway you are going to have a cute baby :slight_smile: I wish that everything will go for the best!!

I guess that you can try the not contact even in your situation I mean show a cooler reaction to him or something like this… Speak with him less till the baby is born or even don’t speak with him at all till than …