My first love, and relationship of a year and a half ended two days ago with her leaving me. There is a six year difference between us, and i tried my best to be the man that she needed. However, nothing can supplicate experience, and now being out of the relationship i feel absolutely gutted. When we were talking, i pretty much sounded like an indian mobster trying to smooth over an arranged marriage. I asked for another shot at it, to prove my love to her, etc etc. but she was having none of it. She was sad too, but said she needed time to heal, and gave me the “I love you, but im not in love with you anymore” (what does that mean when they say it?) Now its been nothing but tears and not being able to believe that Ive practically gone from living with someone i loved to being alone. Ive decided that Im going to commit to the no contact rule. I know i need to work on being myself, and taking back control of my life, but Im feeling fucking hopeless at the moment. She was the only thing in my life, and friends, hobbies, excitement, fell to the wayside. I need your honest opinions on what my chances are? Also how does the dumper feel after leaving somebody?
Hey, I’ve recently been through the exact same situation.
“I love you, but im not in love with you anymore” probably means that she still cares for you but she just wants to let the relationship go. My ex said the same thing. We’re friends now and it was sort of a mutual breakup. I guess you could follow the relationship rewind to become friends with her after NC and see how it goes?
Hey so now im really unsure of what to do. Its been two days and she just sent me a long email about everything. It was mostly positive, but outlines the things that drove it to this point. She said she cared for me and still does, but is going to need time to work on herself and reassess. She also said “im not against working this out in the future, and i dont know when that future will be? months, a year, years” It was a long email, but it was fairly detailed, so now i really dont know what to do. Should i completely ignore it, or write back a short reply and insist on working on myself for a month acknowledging the no contact thing? I dont know what to do, i need your guys’ help!
It seems there’s still a chance for you. I guess both of you should go into NC. As Kevin said the point of NC is to change yourself and re-evaluate. If you still think that she is the one after NC then go ahead and try get her back.
Alright, i understand that 100%. The question in my mind is, do i respond to her email at all? Do I say something along the lines of ‘hey bla bla im doing okay, its not easy, for the next month i want to focus on me’, or should i just ignore ignore ignore?
I would reply just to be polite. But dont get too personal. I assume you are still friends with her? You google relationship rewind step 3 and read the pdf for free. There’s a sample on how you could reply.
Polite short reply. Say you Need time. Then nc.
You have mentioned the reason you 2 broke up. You had no friends or Hobbies apart from her. That’s too much. She couldn’t hack it anymore.
Sort yourself out and try to Forget about her. She is confused but in a month she will be clearer.