My ex and I were dating for 2 years before our breakup. He dumped me a week after returning from our annual vacation, and I took it really rough. Heres a little backstory.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder and was on an IUD which caused incredible mood swings. I would cry and get mad a lot, and he was very tired of having to comfort me all of the time (understandable).
So the breakup was definitely heartbreaking, I called him almost every day for 2 weeks until he told me I needed help and to move on. That he still loved me but needed this breakup. So I stopped calling. Almost a month later, I called him and he seemed happy to talk. We started hanging out again and eventually he told me he missed me and wasn’t sure if he wanted to break up anymore. I told him to think about it and asked if he needed some space–he said no, he wanted to try again. 3 days later we made plans to hang out, but he cancelled to hang with friends and when I asked if he wanted to pick another day, he was evasive. I told him I just missed him and wished I could see him soon. Later that night, he told me I made him feel guilty and broke things off for good. He said he just agreed to try again to appease me.
That SAME week, my father was in a horrible car accident, and my anxiety and grief hit a boiling point, and I used it as a crutch to call my ex and cry for days. He was cold every time, and eventually told me I had to leave him alone, and that he was talking to someone else, which killed me, and this is where I royally f####d up. I logged into his instagram and found her, and blocked her from his account. He found out, called me, and I apologized. He forgave me and told me he’s sorry and knows I’m having a really awful time and he’s sorry for everything hes done and he eventually wants to be friends, but for now he has blocked my number and I have not spoken to him for 4 days.
Did I ruin things forever?