That is very strange behaviour. Did you ever put him under any pressure in the relationship? Cos right now she is looking like a shiney new toy for him…you’re gonna have to let him get on with this and see what happens. I know that must be impossible after 9 years but it is the only way. No amount of pleading is going to change it. The best thing you should be doing is NOT mentioning this girl to him.
What do you think he might be going through that he is hiding? You were together 9 years and no children involved?
You work in the same place as him so it doesn’t really matter if he blocka you. This girl sounds like an idiot saying that he is over you, he is not over you after being together 9 years that is absolutely ridiculous. She needs a slap.
Nope, no pressure. It was him who had mentioned proposing on my birthday. He actually said he had been wanting to do it for a while. I know he was frustrated about not having moved out yet but again that is why we both changed our contracts to nights as the extra money would’ve got us the last chunk to get us moved out this year.
It sounds daft but I feel like he is going through a bit of a mental struggle at the moment. It’s the only way I can make any sense of it. The excessive drinking the past month, he hasn’t turned up to work for a shift for no reason, just went awol, got himself at trouble at work also. All just seems strange like he’s reverting back to being an 18 year old again.
Don’t get me wrong I am having an extremely bad time but I feel getting my feelings out is the best thing for me and will hopefully help me in the long run. I feel like everything he is doing is to try and cover his up to act ‘macho’.
He suffers from depression, at times a lot worse then others but he won’t let anybody know that. Instead he will sit in his room and drink cans and listen to music. That is his way of dealing with it. He is not one to show his feelings unless you know him extremely well and even then he won’t tell you when he is feeling a certain way, it all seems strange he’s been going for ‘walks to clear his head’ as he has told people and on massive drinking binges. All the time playing happy families with her and telling everyone how much better it is now he’s single. It doesn’t sit right with me to be honest. That’s why I think there’s more to it then he’s letting on, I think he’s having a bit of a breakdown to try and hide the real problem.
Well looks like I don’t know him well after all…he’s been messaging a girl at work (we both speak to her), but has told her he was going to end it with me last year and didn’t do. So looks like I didnt know him at all.
I don’t understand why he has taken so long to do it, that’s so bad… I really don’t know what to suggest at this stage other than ignoring him and seeing if he reaches out…that will give you the chance to move on and still open the possibility of him realising he made a mistake. 9 years is a long time so maybe he feels like a teenager again being let free. He sounds like a right asshole.
One possibility could be speaking to him at work and saying you’re cool with everything (even though you’re not) Three shouldn’t be so many chinese whispers going around your workplace though
Yea there’s far too much he said, she said going on at the moment. Like a soap opera! I feel really let down and confused by it all. Very strange behaviour.
How are you feeling now? Are you starting to eat a bit better and sleep a bit more?
Yes I have started eating better, Friday and Saturday I actually had a proper tea and I then went into the chocolate as well!
Sleeping no better as I’m worrying about going onto nights, which should be in 3/4 weeks time.
We are both off work next week as it is my birthday. We should’ve been in Paris (obviously had to change that coz of corona), but that’s playing on my mind that we should’ve been going there and me getting proposed too (apparently).
It sounds daft but before this week happened with lying about that girl I had in my head that if he still cared he would get in touch on my birthday (sad thought I know). And now I know he won’t get in touch with me as he is well over us it just hurts to realise that it’s over for good with no chance of a way back.
Well today is my birthday and he hasn’t got in touch (I knew he wouldn’t but I was hoping deep deep down that he would-he had bought my presents earlier this year). I haven’t spoken to him since last Tuesday when he lied about that girl. So I have Gone all this month hoping today would be the day he would get in touch to get nothing but silence. Looks like it’s time to try and put my thoughts to better use now 
Well today is week 5 and 1 day. He had officially forgotten all about me and moved onto her. Last week when we were meant to be going to Paris for my birthday and I sat at home crying he was with her every day. Putting up picture on social media of the 3 of them together on walks and cuddling in bed. He even put one up of her in his room wearing his dressing gown. The dressing gown I bought him ??:female_sign: So whilst I have been mourning him and non stop thinking how I can sort things he has been in a loved up new romance. I have 3 and a half weeks now until I have to go on nights and work with him. How times have changed in the last 5 weeks
Please stop thinking about that as it will only hurt you. Accept that he has moved on with someone else. Also, You need to try to move on as well. I’m not saying you have to move on with someone else. You can do things that you love to do and keep yourself busy this will help you forget about him. I know it will not be that easy, but you have to try it.