So my ex broke up with me six weeks ago, she reached out to me after two days of the breakup and we talked all night, saying she still wanted to hang out with me and be able to talk to me again without feeling awkward or anxious. I told her how it would be hard for me because I was still so in to her and she responded by saying she loved me which she hadn’t said for the last three weeks of the relationship.
We talked on and off again for the next week until I decided it was best to go no contact for around 4 weeks as towards the end of the relationship I had been very needy with her.
I reached out to her one evening last week (after around 4 weeks NC) asking how she had been, she read the message instantly but it took her half an hour to reply. I waited until the next morning to read her message, she responded in a happy manner and asked how I was doing too. I responded saying I was really good, asking if she had been doing much lately. She replied with a brief reply saying she had just been with her friends alot. She didn’t ask me what I had been up to so I thought it best to just end the conversation by saying how I was happy she was feeling a lot better.
My problem is I don’t know where to go from here. Am I overthinking the conversation? A big part of me wants to wait for her to reach out to me next but its been a week since that initial message. I think I’m just a little confused as how I should progress from here.
Hi Jackson, congrats on following NC for 4 weeks. Now that you opened communication again just wait until it really opens. It wont take so long but don’t always be the one to initiate contact. Let her miss you and contact you. Since you are the man, most of the initiations should be from you, but do not over do it. You are the one whos trying to win her back, so don’t have so much pride. Let things go ahead slowly. Its a long process to get back together and start fresh. Be patient and enjoy the journey of falling in love one more time with her.
Thanks for both of your responses. I messaged her again last week as she posted a facebook status saying she was upset with a friend. We talked for quite a while and she asked if I had a good night out from the previous weekend. We talked about that and I also asked her if she had a good night out recently. She read the message instantly but still hasn’t replied ( 4 days later). My main thought is that she just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore but the conversation was going well and she was asking questions to keep the conversation going so I’m just confused as to why she would all of a sudden not respond, especially when I asked her a question. Thanks again.
I don’t know what shes trying to do. I have done it, and its all mind games. Just let her contact you. In the mean time have fun and enjoy life. I’m sure she will start to miss you soon. If you are following the 5 step plan, Did you meet up yet?
If she is willing to go out with you. It means alot. Plan a nice date but don’t call it a date :).
I have been following the plan and this was my second time reaching out to her and obviously it did go a lot better than I thought. She has said numerous times after the breakup that she thought talking to me would upset me more but I’m not sure how to show her that she’s not upsetting me.
In terms of meeting up with her, I feel like it would be too much to ask to meet with her if we’re not even on fully talking terms yet but maybe thats just me.
Just wondering if there is anything else I should be doing.
Oh I see. Yeah don’t invite her out until you feel like you mastered the step before. Like you said conversation its not yet on full term. Like the steps say being with short conversations until you can do longer. I have made lots of mistakes on my steps that I have to go back to NC. I have taken them way too fast and I see it’s not working out. My ex makes it harder for me to accomplish them correctly. So just relax and be patient.
I know how you feel and I know we’re supposed to be patient but when you really want something that can be pretty tough sometimes. Not that I’m great at giving advice but if you ever want a second opinion on something just shoot me a message and I’ll be glad to help you out, its the least I can do!
Thank you Jackson, I have made a post with my problem. Maybe you can answer there. Being patient is the hardest thing ever. I hate having to go through another NC period, it sucks. That’s why I recommend you to follow each step to the max.
