Hello, my finance broke up with me the same time as I had found out I had a heart issue. The heart issue pushed her over the edge. I have since gotten surgery and my heart is back in good health. We had been engaged for nearly a year and together for five years total. She and her girls live with me currently, and I take full responsibility for the break up. I did not attend to her needs as much as I should have. Everything else was great though. In the past four months I have done a some soul searching and have become a different person. She agrees with this as well. We still live together due to finances, but she wanted to move out 4 months ago and we just could not swing it. She has been dating other guys and even started a short relationship, that lasted two weeks. I know hurt her, but I never cheated, and was always there for her and the girls. I helped take care of her when she was sick for two years in the beginning of our relationship. And recently when we were broke up, after a surgery she had. Anyway, since we have broken up we have gotten back to gather for one day each time, then she breaks up me again. She say loves me and wants to date, but needs space. We are currently dating but she is also dating other guys. I do not want to be in an open relationship and have told her this. I am not sure what to do. She is planning on moving out at the end of the month to try and miss me so we can get back together. She also did this with her ex-husband as well, and they were able to work things out. I am not sure what to do at this point. If I give her an ultimatum I know she will leave. She is depressed, and does not take joy in life anymore, she is on social media all the time and has neglected other parent duties. I have picked up the slack cause I know she is in a bad place. WE still have sex, and sleep in the same bed. But as the time gets closer to her leaving I feel that she won’t come back. She has told me that she thinks we will be together forever, but she needs space to miss me. Not sure what to do. The plan is for her to move out and have 50/50 custody of the kids.
See a counselor (couples therapy) or talk with a minister/priest.
She should also see a doctor for her depression. Maybe medication will help.
Good luck…
She is already in counseling for her depression and will not go to couples therapy. She also does not want to go on medication, she has tried it before and she did not like the way it made her feel. I guess by the reply I received I will just have to ride it out.
She needs space, give it to her…sometimes people want to be given free will to decide what they want!
My advice is give her the space, let her explore and miss you, during this period reduce the attention you give to her, do less calling or none at all. She wants to feel your absence and know what life would be like with you.
I am guessing you are to clingy to her and everywhere about her life since she’s living with you.
Remember the reason she came to live with you from the beginning was because she needed you presence in her life more and that was because she was missing you then. Now she sees other guys and come around too to be with you, she does that when she misses you…
The longer she misses you, the better it will be for both of you! This is just my opinion! Give her the space for real!