It’s probably not a heartless act but an attempt to remove the pain of reminders. That’s how I would view it, if you are not bothered then pictures would not bother you. Removing reminders is removing the source of pain. Look at it that way.
They don’t bother me because I miss him. I won’t pack the stuff he gave me either. I refuse to do it. I don’t know if he’s removing the source of pain or forcing himself to forget about me. Although I don’t know if that’s possible… I mean, he can’t forget about me just like that, right? Even if he packs all my stuff away, that can’t be possible, right?
Of course not, you can’t forget someone you loved so easily. But he needs time to erase leave behind the negative and think of the positive. Maybe we will both never get them back…the problem with being a woman is we analyse every tiny decking detail. Every word, gesture, action…it’s a terrible way to be but it’s what we do.
I understand how you feel…I’m wondering why my ex hasn’t contacted me to even see if I am ok…given my recent suicide attempts. But I know he was at a loss of what to do…
I also know that his apartment is full of my things, even his phone charger is mine. My DvDs are there, my Xbox games, he even has my blanket on his bed, my food in his fridge, the kettle there I bought, my sponge is in his bathroom, my tea in his cupboard, my boots…So many things. So he can’t forget me. I figure he needs space to forget the last shitty month when I lost my mind and became depressed…when he lost the woman he loved.
Sorry…I just wanted to talk about that stuff…
It’s okay, you can talk all you want about your situation. I think yours is worse than mine… we’re just college students, we never got to live together. But we did have a very strong and intimate connection. He was so sweet… So caring. He would get depressed when I had a problem and he couldn’t do anything to help me. He’s the man of my dreams. We had everything. That’s why I’m so desperate to get him back… And I imagine how you must be feeling… Sharing a home together and then everything comes to an end… That must be a walk through hell to you as well…
But you, just like me, should be desperate to get him back. We all are, actually… I’ve been praying so hard for him to come back… The day he broke up with me, after pleading and begging, I had to go to the hospital with heart attack signs… I spent the night there because the doctors saw how dangerously unstable I was. Even so, I asked my dad to bring me my phone, and I contacted him, telling him what happened to me and asking him how he was doing. He ignored me. Even after I told him I was going to the hospital and he acted like he was worried. “Acted”. I said “Why would you want to know why I’m going to the hospital? After this, why would you care about me? It’s pretty obvious you don’t care how I feel.” and he said “Of course I care about you!”
Ever since, he didn’t say a word to me. He’s being colder than Antarctic Winter. That’s I think, though. Actually, I don’t know what’s going on in his heart or in his mind. What I do know is that I love him. I’ve already changed many things about me. But my love for him remains unchanged.
I think that’s what we both need to move away from…the whole…“I’m dying without you” stuff. I know, we think it will work…they will feel sorry for us but they don’t, they just want to run.
I actually didn’t live with him, but I spent so much time there and the last time I left a lot of things there. It doesn’t matter the situation though, when you feel love you feel it…when it hurts it hurts, it’s not a competition. We’re here to support each other through this time…
I miss sharing my bed with him, miss his smell…everything. but I have to be strong, get better and he can again meet the girl he fell in love with.
Yes, we’re here to support each other… Mine shared his bed with me many times. His mother was so kind and so caring. I miss her. She did a lot of stuff for me. And she liked me a lot. Like my boyfriend; I know he was crazy about me. That passion in his eyes… The good times we’ve spent together… This is insane. He doesn’t even want to meet me in person. It’s like he’s transformed into something completely different…
I already got over the phase of needing him. I want him, but I’m proving to myself that I don’t actually need him. But then every night I dream about him. About us cuddling and kissing. About him reaching out to me… Before the breakup, my subconscious was warning me of this. I often dreamed about us breaking up, about him dumping me, and it happened. Some deja vu, huh? And now it’s the reverse. I wish that could be a good premonition…
I understand, when I was with mine I was always dreaming of a boyfriend that wasn’t him, someone who doesn’t exist.
Like me, we just have to give them space. The space will help us…help us not dwell or stress so much. Give us perspective…we existed before them we will after…
Are you exercising? That’s been good for me. I used to run last year then stopped…now I have started again…the couch to 5km programme. But I have skipped right to week four despite no running for 9 months. I listen to podcasts that make me laugh while I exercise…It’s like a double hit…exercising and laughing.
My legs ache today when I walk up stairs…It’s a nice feeling…if your legs ache your heart aches less.
Yes I am. I use my wrath to motivate me. I have his cold attitude and words echoing in my mind when I’m running and working out. I’m also going to the beach, tanning my skin and swimming in the sea. And then I sit down and look at the sea… hoping he’s thinking of me and missing me, wondering how he is and trying to reach out to him in my mind. “Just wait for me. I’ll be coming back for you. At full throttle. You’ll see.”
It’s been complicated to me. I have highs and lows. I don’t want people around me to talk about him because that drags me all the way down. Their words destroy my hopes of getting him back. That’s why I come here, because I know people here won’t tell me to give up on him, that I don’t stand a chance anymore. I don’t want to believe that. No one wants to hear that.
Exactly…You need positivity now. Same as me. I’m fighting the urge to message him right now…argh!
But more importantly…You live near a beach? I think I will give you no contact now 
I’m in rainy Manchester, England and I’m maintaining a nice pasty white colour… 
Where are you?
I’m in Aveiro, Portugal! You English people often come here to Algarve during the Summer and you guys seem to love it here. 
I live quite far away from Algarve, though, hahah. ^^’ That’s where the best beaches are.
Anyway, I’m fighting that too, but one part of me is telling me “Don’t do it. He will just flat out ignore you. Wait a bit more.”
Ah…My housemate is from Portugal. The north though. I’ve been to the Algarve and Lisboa
Resist the urge…we both must it won’t do any good. We lose the power then…
Plat, you should join the thread with Belle on no contact…we three seem to be in the same place…
Aveiro is in the north too. Well, center-north. My boyfriend is from the north. We met when I moved there because of college. He lives nearby college. So yeah, in the Summer becomes a long distance relationship…
I’m not sure I have any power. I would if he had reached out to me already. I’m not saying I wouldn’t reply to his messages, I would just play it cool. No hard feelings, no pleading, no nothing. Just talking amicably.
The power is there as long as you maintain no contact. It’s your choice not to contact him then…regardless of whether he contacts you or not. You had ready decided not to contact him…So him not contacting you is irrelevant…does that make sense?
I guess it does… I have my doubts. I don’t know how he’s interpreting this lack of contact. He didn’t reply to me at all. He ignored me back on those days…
I know it’s not easy to not dwell on it and wonder what he is doing or thinking…You should concentrate on yourself more than anything now.
I will, ElleJ. And then, when I’m through one month of NC, I’ll try to reach to him. That is, if he doesn’t reach out first. But honestly, I doubt he will. I was the one who made the mistakes, so that’s why he doesn’t even want to see me. I hurt him, and he hurt me… But I’m still in love with him. Even after all his harsh, cold words. “I don’t love you anymore. I don’t want to go back to you.”