No Idea Where to go From Here - help please :)

reconciliation
1

Hi,

Me and my boyfriend went on a “break” after an argument from then he wouldn’t really speak to me and I didn’t know where I stood for weeks so in the end I ended it for my own sanity. He had some personal issues going on but he wouldn’t communicate well with me so it was difficult for me to help.

I did the NC and he came back saying he was so sorry and he wants nothing more than to get me back. I felt really apprehensive about the situation as I knew he hadn’t properly sorted his head out so I was a little stand offish when I saw him, as I was scared to get hurt again (maybe I shouldn’t of been like this).

Because of that he has said I’m hard to read and I’m not affectionate- he has now gone distant and we haven’t spoken in 2 weeks.
He does have a lot going on in his personal life at the moment so I know I need to be careful by how I act but I am getting hurt and don’t know what to do? I feel like I have lost him again.

Any advice would be appreciated, I just don’t know where to go from here. I went on a date last night and I had to leave early because I got so upset, as I only want to be dating my ex no-one else.

Look forward to some advice :slight_smile:

2

@sarah_davies - He wanted to get back together and you acted stand offish which never prevents hurt. You apparently thought of it as a self defense mechanism, but it back fired. I’m sure he was confused and he even said he doesn’t know how to read you and you’re not affectionate. Don’t contact him for another couple of weeks and then ask to meet for coffee. Explain why you acted that way and that it was silly. If you both want to try again, I suggest you have a calm conversation about what went wrong during your relationship and how to fix it. Don’t go on anymore dates with other guys until you two figure out what you want to do.

3

Yeah I understand being like that probably wasn’t right but it’s difficult to just be back totally normal. I felt apprehensive about the situation because he got a bit spooked of commitment first time round that is what caused the argument. Ok I’ll complete 30 days no contact again and if I don’t hear off him this time I will reach out and ask to talk. Thank you!

4

Hello there Sarah

Hope this day wasnt bad for you all the way, usually we do have good moments even if the day suck so hope your did go well,

I read your words and i hope that my words can help you by anyway

So it looked to me that your man have some sort of tough time these days and he really need to fix things in his side.

Don’t try to help em unless he wanted to , like this ( hey is everything ok ? ) if he said yes then just ask him what he want to drink or what do he want to eat. But if he said no , sit close to him and tell him by calm voice , ( Do you wanna share )

You just have to wait em until he calm and open him self to you , you’ll see alot of things have changed to the better , and he will trust you on this.

But if you were fighting with him to know what is going on by force , thats never going to work

So take few mins,hours to think deeply and carefully how to talk nicly to him and own his trust , its not revenge , its for love sake

Guys are nice when you are nice, ask him out and try to cool things down , nothing end unless you want to end it

I hope that my words helped you out, if it did not , i am really sorry that i’m not that good , but i didnt wanted to see you alone and felt u need someone to talk to

Hope i can be here to help agian
Later, you the tiger

5

Hi,

Thank you for your lovely message :slight_smile:

I get what you mean and no I was never pushy he openly told me about things and I was always there but as things went on it was as if he was isolating himself and focusing more on the people that did him wrong than those who really care (me being one of them).

Usually with boys I would just end it when things start getting bumpy its the way I have always been but with this one I really don’t want to- I haven’t felt like this before.

Thank you for your lovely words

6

You are welcome , its my pleasure

So did anything happen the past few hours ?

7

Hey,

No Nothing we haven’t spoken in over 2 weeks. He’s constantly on my mind I don’t know whether to reach out soon, but then I keep thinking if I really meant something to him like he kept saying would he of just stopped making an effort? I’m so confused.

8

Hey Sarah

To be honest I don’t recommande thinking to much , after two weeks you might need to check on em , If you love someone pretty much you want your life to start as soon as possible ,

I would just send a little message and then check how things lead to

Its just my way to do things , u might have alot of different better ways

Hope things be better for you , don’t give up , you are doing well , I’ll be here

9

Hey,
I haven’t reached out yet, but he messaged me over the weekend just to say I looked nice in my new picture I do however think he was drunk. I didn’t respond as I honestly didn’t know what to say. I want to message him but shouldn’t I complete the NC first? I do love him but I’m not sure whether giving him more space is better for now so he sorts his head out- what would you do?