I do not know how to handle this. My boyfriend and I broke up for the final time a couple weeks ago. I’m having a hard time with it or I wouldn’t be in this site. I found out he gave me herpes today. Obviously there is the no-contact rule. I don’t know what to do though, because this is health related. My ex is impulsive and I believe a pathological liar. If I contacted him to tell him this, my intuition tells me he would not take responsibility, and scarily enough, would turn it around on me and possibly spread rumors about me. I am so utterly disappointed in him it’s hard to express in words. What should I do?? This is the ultimate violation, as well as he obviously was cheating in me. Help me!!! my age - 39 and my ex’s age - 40.
I think you should notify him because he will continue spreading it and not getting it treated… You dont need to have further convo just tell him that he needs to get check up asap I get there is a risk that he might behaved the way you think but you know what karma is a bitch and he will get his one day ten fold. I think this is an opportunity to be the responsibe adult and if he chooses to continue being jerk then let him. You are better that that guy. I am so sorry that this is what you got from him. Breakups are hard enough without discovering this. But you know you will through this and you will get good things happening to you just wait and see. I wish you all the best.
Just one thing though, you say it would break the no contact rule. Are you thinking of getting back though? Cause you describe him as a pathological liar, an impulsive person, a cheater, so on and so fort. I think you should reevaluate if you really want to get back or otherwise find someone else who is a good presence in your life. Much strenght x
Thank you for the replies! After this last incident, it would be impossible to start a relationship I with him again. However, it still hurts so much. It almost hurts worse now that I figured out he’s done this to me, as his true colors are revealed and I actually thought I wanted him back. More mad at myself than anything.
It’s no worth my dear 
forgive yourself and promise yourself that next time you won’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Much strength my dear
First of all, herpes isn’t the end of the World. I’m now 7 days into No Contact with my ex, and she gave me herpes the 2nd weekend we were together. There’s a stigma about herpes which is kind of unfair in my opinion, but if you get on the right medication the chances are you won’t have another outbreak for years, and the first outbreak is the longest and the worst.
I’m guessing he knew he already had it, which is a shame. My ex knew she had it and didn’t disclose it to me, but I forgave her.
I personally think you should contact him and break the 30 day rule and get some closure, tell him how much he hurt you, and then re-establish the no contact rule.