I saw him today at a party but he didnt saw me I miss him it’s just so ironic how one person tells you he loves you then after an argument and a month of space he suddenly don’t have feelings for me anymore. I didnt approached him I don’t think I am ready. I hope NC will make him realized that he was just conflicted with everything around him.
As much for giving you a woman’s input I also would like to thank you for giving me a man’s input and even sharing your own experience.
My ex is the same way he is stubborn to a fault and once decided he stands by it. Also selfish for walking away on us. So i hope it works for both of us. For now all we can do is to focus more on ourself maybe we should also be selfish.
I completely understand how you feel because my ex was the same thing. One day she told me she loved me then literally the next day she ended it with me saying she doesn’t love me anymore and gave me every single cliche when the day before she was so loving towards me. Didn’t make sense at all and it really messed with me mentally. I can imagine how hard that was for you to have seen him there and you did a good job in not approaching him, it takes a lot of strength to do that and i respect you for being able to do that. I was unable to do that and was put in an awkward position by myself, but I’ve learned from that mistake and won’t be making it again. In a party setting I am pretty sure that someone told him you were also at the party, now I’m not sure if you were sad at the party or anything but I’m hoping you were with your friends at that party having a good time because most articles and videos I’ve watched on YouTube says that it would build attraction showing your ex that you could live a happy life without them. Even if you are feeling sad they say fake it until you make it. If you were having a good time then some mutual friends or his friends may have reported back to him saying something like “hey I saw (your name) and she looked like she was having fun at the party and she doesn’t seem upset anymore”, something like that.
I’m hoping that what I’m doing is starting to have an effect on her though. Sometimes I doubt what the process is doing and almost give in and break NC knowing that is also the wrong move.
They are rather selfish and stubborn because everything could’ve been worked out with proper communication I’m sure. The day my ex broke up with me she said we would “talk” about it but there wasn’t really much talking about it, it was just her saying she wants to break up because (every cliche in the book), me trying to use logic and facts over how we felt literally the day before (which neither works when it comes to human emotions) and she just ended it. I felt like i never had a fighting chance to begin with. Some other tactics I read online would be the jealousy move but then again I’m not sure if I want to go that route(even though it worked on me on the ex I had gotten back). As selfish as we want to be the problem is we’ve given them so much already that (atleast for me) I’m not sure it’s in me to be selfish because I feel if you love someone wouldn’t want to usually give up certain things just to be with them? To even keep them happy? The fact that we both are dealing with depressed people (atleast for me) makes me feel a little guilty for being selfish as well. I hope that it won’t have to come down to that for the both of us and our hard headed ex’s will realize what they felt might Not have been the right call.
If you’re curious with where I get a lot of my information (specifically on YouTube) then there are a couple of coaches there that i recommend watching and listening to when you’re feeling hopeless. 1) Coach Lee (I find his content to be more reasonable because actually thinks you should reach out when you feel you have nothing else to lose), 2) coach craig Kenneth (his content is useful as well only problem with him for me is that he says no contact at all unless they contact you first), 3) the love chat (he bases his ideas on Craig Kenneth’s so almost the same general concept). I listen to these guys videos on YouTube whenever I’m feeling hopeless so maybe they could also give you a helpful insight as well. These 3, I feel, are more reliable as far as the YouTube channel goes because they go into more detail over the other people on YouTube they may tell you to buy their product (I bought coach Lees) but to be honest the video content on YouTube is way better than what they are trying to sell you.
Are we in the same situation. Hahahaha Everything you have said strikes home. My ex also said we need to talk but he’s already set his mind on breaking up and telling me evey cliche breakup excuses without the real reason being uttered. I tried to reason with logic but as you guess it never goes through them. That’s right if only they are willing to communicate with us it would have not lead to breakup but that is hard and they want the easy way out so they choose to be selfish. It messed me up really how someone can turn to someone so selfish.
Well his friends complimented me saying I look so good well not that I am a vain person but I always choose to look presentable I smiled and conversed with them and thanked them for the compliment then proceeded my merry way. Later on I saw him but never approached him.
I know NC is hard but I am almost on 3 weeks now if I can do it then you can also do it. They may be depressed but it doesnt give them the license to hurt others especially those that genuinely cares for them.
I think you are right he’s trying to get my attention on social media he post all these nonsense things and even a tweet or two about his feelings I remember he disapproved of posting too much on social media saying it is not an outlet for our thoughts but look at him now it makes me cringe.
I already read so much and watch every youtube videos about this topic but talking with you is what I find most helpful there is nothing more comforting than someone who is in the same situation despite our difference in gender.
It is kind of funny that we are in the same situation regardless of gender haha of course the situation isn’t funny but still it’s nice to get another persons opinion on it that has maybe a different way of approaching things as well. If they did give us a real reason it would be easier for us to work on the problem. I hate the cliches because we all grown ups we can take the truth, but i feel like for her she didn’t give me the real reason because i have a feeling her family influenced it heavily and she doesn’t want to make them look bad. It’s sad to say but people are selfish by nature and what’s worse is instead of dealing with the situation head on everyone always finds an easier way out. That’s great that you were able to communicate with his friends for all you know his friend might have been his “spy” but he will definitely report back to your ex.
NC is very hard because you’re literally putting off dealing with that person until later when all you can think about is how to get them back after working on yourself of course. I did see her today and smiled at her but i got no reaction out of it, she is viewing my social media again (not that it might mean anything).
That’s great though isn’t it? He’s seeking attention perhaps yours. I think he will start trying to reach out to you eventually. I feel like he’s really trying to get a reaction out of you since he knows you two don’t do that and all of a sudden he’s doing it, he probably wants you to text him out of anger or something but let him continue doing that because that is a big sign that it is working in my opinion. Just remain in NC for now and he will eventually have to go to you.
I feel the exact same way mainly because I can’t ask the coaches questions without having to pay them but getting your opinion on the matter does help me out as well and gives me more hope that I am doing the right thing even if she is acting like she doesn’t care. Fortunately for you I have been on both sides as the dumper and now the dumped so yea. Besides as a guy who was in NC from the dumpers perspective i can tell you that it works.
I have gone out with my friends today and my friend who is a social media addict did post pictures I was hoping he will see it too. I think her checking your post is something good social media nowadays is so powerful and I am afraid I am not using it to its full extent but I let my friend do my dirty work post pictures of our hangouts.
I think you should continue smiling and greeting her even though she is avoiding you it shows something about your character that you are mature enough in the situation.
His friends I don’t have an issue with they still treat me as a part of their group and we still converse from time to time. I hope you are right that he will contact me soon enough I just wish that he now view our relationship as something worth communicating for.
Yes most of the time they will only answer once then redirect you to their product. One coach did advice me to go NC then after that nada no replies anymore.
That’s good to hear. It’s more effective if your friends are posting and tagging you rather than you posting yourself because (i think i read this somewhere) when he sees it he will know 1) you’re out living life 2) because you’re friend is the one tagging you in them he won’t feel like you’re trying to get his attention so it creates that psychological effect on him where he will start to think that you are happier without him, which is a good thing because it puts him in that position where he will feel that he may have made a mistake. It’s fine that you don’t use social media to it’s full potential, just use it like how you have been using it because if you over do it on social media it will look out of character (like what your ex is doing) and it will look like a desperate attempt to catch his attention. I do get that viewing my social media stories might show she is still wondering about me but for all i know she might’ve viewed it by accident (even though they have the skip function for it now).
You’re right, it does show maturity and I was also thinking that if i keep doing that it would make me more approachable to her if she does want to discuss anything (killing her with kindness right?).
May I ask how close you are with his friends? Because the ex I had gotten back is really close to all my best friends and if they are that close to you as well, your chances may go up. Based on my personal experience if your ex knows you’ve been talking to his best friends or hanging out with them occasionally, chances are that he will start asking them questions about you (of course he will try to act cool about questioning about you at first, but then he will constantly ask about you. That’s what i ended up doing atleast). If you are still considered in his circle and cool with his friends that helps out a whole lot because I like it when my friends like my girlfriend and want to be her friend too that means they know that she’s good for me and if something is wrong then my friends would be honest and tell me whether i messed up or the girl is no good for me. Being good with his circle is great because a lot of things can be beneficial from that 1) they may tell you (even without you asking) how your ex had been doing and thinking about you (depending on how close you are to them) 2) if they were close to you as well and can be trusted not to say anything his friends could even be used to be your spies 3) if you hang out with his friends and he’s not there imagine the psychological effect it will have on him (he will think well wait they are supposed to be my friends why are they hanging out with her and not me? I would’ve liked to have gone) 4) his friends (if they are good friends) knows what is good for him and will want that for him as well (of course they can’t force him to get back with you) but sometimes they may suggest to him that maybe he should get back together with you (they will, by themselves without you even asking, do the hard work for you). Those are great benefits of being friends with his friends. Unfortunately for me I’ve never met any of her friends because she is an introvert and has few friends for me to even talk to (her best friend lives in another state and is very supportive of my ex’s decisions).
I did notice that too with a lot of coaches. Like wow thanks i totally did not know I’m supposed to go into NC even though all your videos state that’s where i should start.
His friends was devasted with his decision to breakup with me they even tried to sway him to give our relationship another chance but he kept bringing up old issues that we have already resolved saying that our relationship is unhealthy when in fact he is only trying to justify his decision. Some of his friends even sided with me and announced that he is being immature. Well two of his male friends is my blockmate ang we are always paired up as a group for projects and such they always asked how I am feeling. His hs friend (girl) did an extra mile and chastised him saying that he’s so lucky to have me in his life for I was there when he was hospitalized and all I did was support him through thick and thin. His other friends still greets me whenever they bump into me and make small talk. After our breakup I did inform them and tell them to take care of him and watch if his depression is going worse. So yeah I think we have a great relationship. I am just quite scared for I know it might take time to get back together and this is our last sem at uni I might lose some leverage for by the time we graduate all of us will quickly look for jobs.
Did you try to hide your story from her? Talking about the facebook ones even if you hide your story from her if she actively visits your profile and watch your story then you can caught her red handed. I know it seems petty but at this times even a glimmer of hope is better than nothing. I agree with you acting mature in the situation and you should continue what you are doing. It took me three weeks to even see hope I think you’re in week two right? Just give it some time. That’s unfair of her friend for she doesn’t know your side of the story I would never put anyone in our position.
Today I think I’ll go do something healthy maybe visit a gym or make my own salad I am not an emotional person but this breakup make me burst into tears when I least expect it although sometimes I feel good about myself it’s a rollercoaster but I continue to go out with my friends maybe I should do alone time and find a new hobby.
He’s probably just not in the right mind set right now. Could be a lot of things even a fear of committing it’s just going to take time. I wouldnt worry too much about after graduation. I’m sure even if you are all looking for jobs he will come around. Everyone else seems to be pulling for both of you so with that kind of support system he will eventually think more about you and about how big his mistake was, but it seems like your in a good position in getting him back.
No I did not try to hide my story from her because i feel like it’s there if she wants to see then she can and if not then it’s fine as well. Well She broke up with me a little over a month ago and I’m on my second attempt at NC the first one lasted for two weeks and she texted me happy birthday and so i tried to converse with her but nothing then the same week i saw her at work and initiated contact which was a bad move so right now I’m just now getting onto week two.
The gym is a perfect way to distract yourself but you should allow time in your day to just let it all out like disignate a time where you can sit there and be sad. I totally understand how you feel though because my day could be going well then all of a sudden i get depressed out of nowhere thinking about it. Sometimes i do feel like hope is gone as well and really start to question if it’s worth it or something like that. I ended up picking up an instrument again as a hobby and it’s a great way to distract myself. Just find something you really enjoy and try to indulge in it.
So yeah today was a backlog I didn’t have the energy to go to the gym and spend my day at my room sleeping what a waste. I also cried a bit. Tomorrow I’ll attend a christmas party so hopefully I won’t be a couch potato and enjoy the day.
My ex doesn’t have commitment issues for we have already planned our future that I am sure of and our last argument leading to the breakup is his spending habits I pleaded for him to change his excessive spending and that time he was also under the pressure of not being able to graduate which triggered his depression. So that lead to him asking for space then after a month of limited contact he is claiming he doesn’t love me anymore more cliche bs excuses blabla.
You know Christmas is coming don’t you think we should greet our exes happy holidays? I mean we are in NC for a decent amount of time you and me both. I was originally not planning to reach out to him first or if I ever did it will be after our graduation which is 3 months from now.
Well plus I think he is trying to flirt with a classmate of his (crushing on him) commenting heart emoji on their group photo and posing with her multiple times it makes me cringe for he said in the past that he will never be involved with this girl. Honestly he makes me cringe now with the way he is acting.
It’s ok to feel that way every now and then. It happens because of what we are going through. I haven’t been as motivated to anything much since the breakup but we can’t stay like this for long. It’s ok to spend time and let yourself feel this way because I’ve been doing the same just in a depressed mood really. Some days you’ll be wayyy up and other days you’ll be down again but you have to remember that everytime you feel a set back just feel it get up and try to move forward again. This is a healing process for us we need time to grieve the loss as well. I feel it’s because even though they left us we haven’t really accepted that it really happened yet so that’s why we are still holding on, but once we figure out how to accept it and let go eventually it may come around again (on their terms as unfair as that sounds). If we initiate it then we look weak and desperate in their eyes and we will push them back further.
That may be the case but me and my ex also have had that conversation as well but i feel like she wasn’t as committed as i was. We could talk to them about the future all day if we wanted to but in order to make that plan a reality they have to realize the type of work that goes into achieving those plans and that’s probably what rattled them (atleast my ex I’m not sure about yours, but these are all just assumptions because i cannot speak on her behalf). I understand his point of view as well as far as the spending and school goes because 1) lets be honest nobody likes being told what to do with their money (his logic is probably i worked hard for it so i want to use it how i want,atleast that’s my thought but for me i like to spend whatever on my S/O because i feel she deserves it) 2) obviously trying to graduate is a big deal (for me I’m still in nursing school at the moment but the fact that he is afraid of not being able to graduate may have made him feel he wasn’t good enough or something, that’s how i would feel in that situation because what girl wants to be with a guy that has a uncertain future? That fear is what probably helped to contribute to his depression as well, again not entirely sure because I’m not him but that’s how i would feel and sometimes do feel). I got those same cliches too so I’m with you on that but i know that’s the biggest BS excuse ever because you can obviously tell when someone loves you because when you’re with them you can tell, like you can even feel it.
So about texting them for the holidays, I want to say yes but then at the same time you have to think would they do the same for you? For example for the thanksgiving that just passed I did not message my ex happy thanksgiving but it’s not like she tried to do the same for me. Based on videos and everything that i have been watching, a lot of them say No as far as contacting them goes because our ex’s pretty much told us that they didn’t want us in their lives anymore (at the moment or whatever) so we owe them absolutely nothing. The thing is we’ve already given them everything we could’ve and even today they still have every bit of our love as much as they had when they were with us. On top of all that if they do miss us or something and the thought of us would make them upset would you want them to feel that way on Christmas? But who knows if we are lucky we might get a Christmas miracle (although it is wishful thinking). They should already know that we are still thinking about them, they should know how we feel about them because they are the ones that left us therefore should know where we stand. The problem with that is because they know that if they wanted to they could be like “hey baby I’m back” and we will be quick to jump at that chance but we need them to feel unsure about that because we should not be a second choice, we should not be a back burner because we deserve better than that. Right now they have all the power and in order to change that we just have to keep up what we’ve been doing as hard as that is. Besides in your situation you’ve been around him for 2 straight Christmas’s already he’s gonna feel the difference this year but you have to let him make the first move, if he even does, because for all we know our ex’s currently doesn’t know how to approach us or contact us even though it’s very simple. The fact that they know they hurt us will probably make them both very hesitant about contacting us. For us to think about messaging them on Christmas (I’m not going to lie to you I also want to text my ex) is just an excuse for us to break NC and we do not want to let our struggle this far go to waste.
My ex (the one I’m trying to get back) said i made her cringe too but i was doing the same thing I’ve been doing since i started dating her which is strange because i didn’t change how i acted towards her at all. I can tell you that he may be flirting with her because he’s trying to fill that void that was left him in when he left you (I’m ashamed to say i did the same thing). Just know that even if he dates her it’ll be a rebound relationship and that he will definitely be comparing you to her and guess what? Everytime that comparison comes up you will win out each and everytime. That and his friends will probably question what he is doing and will tell him that the new girl is not you. If they are his real friends they will tell him exactly how they feel about it all. The thing about guys is if he dates her he will see that the grass is not greener on the other side, and when he realizes that because he tried to date someone else he will come back to you a lot faster than him sitting around just thinking about your relationship with him. It’s a painful thought but if you try to accept it for what it is now it’ll hurt less. Like i said before after a 2 year relationship, connecting on an emotional level with you it will make a huge difference and every girl he meets along the way will not be enough until he comes back to you. If i found out my ex was doing that to another dude I’d be very upset as well but we cannot tell them anything about their choices. I can tell you that even though she may not be talking/flirting to anybody else I’ve been pretending or assuming she is and it does hurt just thinking about it but if you deal with that pain now you won’t be as hurt or shocked if it does happen.
Some other things that I’ve realized that is making me want to reach out to her again is because I’m still using logic behind all my thoughts but logic cannot apply to human emotions. You might even find yourself making excuses for your ex giving him the benefit of the doubt (i was doing that a lot) but when you realize that it’s just you trying to justify everything for them it will hurt your healing process sometimes i still find myself trying to figure it all out but eventually I’ll have to accept everything as is. Eventually time will reveal why everything went down the way it did and maybe the chance to reconcile will show up as well.
Thought I will have a fun day but is actually the opposite things are going well until someone told me that my ex have told him that he is breaking up with me weeks prior when he told me his decision. Basically everyone knows but me all of his blockmates, circle of group, and even ones that we are not close with him he basically spread the news that he is breaking up with me except me the person who is in relationship with him. This hurt me a lot how can he do that to me that is the most immature thing anyone can do in a relationship. Now he is leaving breadcrumbs through social media making me hope that there might be chance for us. I am deeply hurt I feel so violated after the two years we have spent together it feels like. I cant help but be emotional while drinking it just hurts so much I hope my crying will not spread in the entire school. I feel like everyone is looking at me with petty by what he have done.
I wanna talk to him about what we he did he basically shamed me now everyone is looking at me with pity how does someone stomach that it hurts so much.
Look at it this way, the breakup happened regardless of what the situation was beforehand. Nothing you can say or do at this point will changes that and if you do act on this it’s just you acting out of emotion and can push your ex further away from you. I get that him going around saying that is a fucked up thing, i can imagine how betrayed and hurt you feel at the moment but you have to keep it together. You’ve been in NC for 3 weeks now in pain, but if you confront him about this it could make your situation worse. For him to go around and tell people that he is going to do it is probably him looking for validation that he is doing the right thing. Did this person tell you anything else like his reason why he was going to breakup with you? At this point you need to determine for yourself whether your ex is worth getting back. I know it hurts you right now because nobody wants to hear that someone they loved and dedicated a lot of time to had been planning to leave them for a while (my recent ex told me herself that she was planning on it as well but I’m sure it’s BS). I’m sorry that that happened to you but if you want him to feel how fucked up he is you need to stay in NC. Yes he may be leaving breadcrumbs for you but like i said it could be a sign that what you are doing is effecting him. There will be a time for you to be able to discuss everything out with him but not right now when you are still very emotional about it. Just try to gather yourself, if you have to vent to your best friend (the only person who you can trust to show weakness to), do not let him know that you’re hurting as hard as that is. You’ve done a good job at keeping NC for this long and there may be more bumps ahead of you just remember to keep moving forward.
Thank you. You are a life saver. Yes he did mention that it was all his fault that he did something wrong. That is what this person told me.
Right now my opinion of him did go down I was so sure that he was worth it but now I am having doubts I know NC will make things clear.
Sorry that it seem like you are much of help I am sorry that I can only give you advice sometimes yet you give me so much motivation hope I can help you more.
Well did the person tell you the specific reason? (You do not have to tell me because it is not my business but depending on what he did wrong exactly is how you should plan your move) It’s not problem I do not mind helping out however i can, it’s just you worked so hard to keep NC for this long that id hate for you to have to restart it all over again. You’re making progress already with coping with your situation, understanding what you need do to improve yourself so confronting him about it will just put you back at square one all over again.
NC will give you the time to figure everything out. Like i said before time will reveal everything, so unless he’s victimizing himself and trying to make people feel sorry for him by saying “oh it’s my fault blah blah”, or trying to make people pity him then i wouldn’t worry about it. Sometimes the person that did the breakup will try to make themselves look like the victim in all of it so that even if they did something wrong they will try and pin it on you somehow (i didn’t do that but I’ve seen it happen before). Just give yourself time to figure out if it is all worth it to you because you know what you deserve and how you should be treated and if you have to reevaluate the entire relationship the good and bad, think about how he responded to every argument, kind gesture, etc. and figure out if you were treated right the entire time and that is how you will know if it is all worth it or you’re just feeling like your self worth dropped because he broke up with you (guess what it didn’t! Just because someone can’t appreciate you for who you are does not necessarily mean you are less because someone else was too dumb to realize it).
It’s ok you help me out too. Messaging you back and forth helped calm my mind down as far as thinking my chances are dead or that she no longer is affected my me and it’s all mainly because you also understand my situation. I feel like my situation may be improving however. I can’t reallh explain it but it is a feeling. Lately it seems like my ex has been stalking my social media (obviously has been viewing my stories) but because of her timid personality i think she’s just afraid of how i would react to her approaching me after hurting me. Of course I’m not going to act on that gut feeling because i cannot confirm it but when she’s ready to talk she knows my phone is always open. A reason why it seems like I’m helping you out more is mainly because i haven’t really seen or heard anything about her lately, all i have to rely on are either my thoughts and suspicions. I try to to worry about it because i know everything will work itself out whether i get her back or not. If what i had with her was real (which both her and i felt) then she will be back, i just have to give her what she wants which is the breakup. She’s really good at hiding her feelings but i can tell she hasn’t forgotten about me or lost feelings for me. Of course I’m thinking this way now because I’m calm about it, but sometimes i do get scared as well but i can’t let that fear hold me back all the time.
Well remember I told you about his spending habits I help him sometimes and lend him money that is the root case of our argument. I was saying that he should change for this kind of behaviour will only lead him to more trouble. That’s when he said that I should break up with him becoz he gives me so much problem. Saying that I don’t deserve this. I didn’t want to breakup I want to compromise but I guess he don’t want to because all he can say is he can’t do this anymore maybe that’s why he found a way to breakup with me.
I hope my ex is like yours but no he post all these non sense things at social media putting up a front so that everyone will think he is not affected I really think he is overdoing it it makes him look pathetic.
Even then it’s not that big of a deal to want to leave someone. It sounds like he just threw a fit and came up with an excuse to break up with you. Breakups like that don’t usually last once he realize how childish he is being if that is the reason. I could never ask my girlfriend for money or accept help, that makes me feel weak so i couldn’t do it no matter how hard I’m struggling, but he should’ve seen that you cared about him enough to offer help so that’s not a good reason to breakup at all. Wouldn’t most women find that to be a turn off anyways?
The problem is I’m not sure if she is stalking my social media, it’s just an assumption, for all i know she’s just curious about how I’m doing or something. I wish my ex was posting childish shit that way i know for sure that what I’m doing is effecting her. At this point i want to see some kind of reaction but either I’m not picking up on them or there’s really no reaction to be seen just yet. I do feel like I’ve finally come to terms with the breakup though as shitty as it feels. I know that the only way i can move forward and make myself better is if i just accept it for what it is for now. If it’s going to happen again then it will, either i will reach out to her when I’m ready or she will. I do still hope that she will realize the breakup was a little rash but i can’t sit there and wait you know? It’s slowing me down and making me way too depressed. I recently went to the doctors and due to the depression and the effect the break up had on me i lost 20 lbs in two weeks.
The thing is I think he didn’t want to change at all his spending habits have been a long time issue in our relationship. That argument I pleaded for him to change but instead of saying that he will try to change he wanted me to breakup with him he didnt even try to discuss the issue just flat out said that I should break up with him. So knowing that I will not agree to that he asked for space instead and in that span of time he decided that he can’t fight for our relationship anymore and started telling it to people we are not even close with.
Well our situation really is hard we are pushed away by people who we have loved. The first week I didn’t even bother to get out of bed the second week I really tried to get myself up for uni and by the third I keep missing a class or two for a minor subject. I didnt eat as much I skip my breakfast and lunch and I find that everything is draining me. But I believe I made some progress even though sometimes I cry out of nowhere. At first I was devasted to see him posting so much on social media but then I remembered that when he is the happiest he never even posted about it in the past. Now I don’t know why but I kind of pity him that he is going such lengths to make it seem like he is okay. I wish you would take care of yourself better even though we might not get our ex back only time will tell we need to get back up on our feet. We are a loss to them they will realize that.
Someone from the party is talking to me and he seems nice and all. He comforted me and said that I don’t deserve this then we played online games all night long it is so good to find some people still sympathize with you even though we are not that close before.
That is very ridiculous. I understand what you’re saying about his spending habits (because i too have that problem i just use my money more on my S/O) but he should really learn how to control those wants and needs. He should know you’re only looking out for him and if he can’t appreciate that then he needs to fix that because being broke or barely scraping by sucks. It is however something he should discover on his own. If you could go back and retry that incident again, you should’ve let him experience the struggle of scraping by with what he had because he can’t control his wants. It’s not that hard to learn once you’ve been in that struggle. He probably felt like if he was struggling hard then you’d bail him out but he can’t rely on people like that. It’s a very immature mind set to have but he has to realize that for himself.
That’s the same for me. First week i didn’t even leave my room only to do the necessities (aside from eating) my appetite was at an all time low because i was too focused on my depression to think of food. Second week was pretty much me dying trying to not text her knowing that i would be happier if she would just reach out to me (i tried going to the gym to distract me but it’s hard to lift when you have the weight of your depression also holding you back), she ended up texting me throughout the first two weeks then stopped up until my birthday then stopped again. Third week for me was a lot of highs and lows (pretty much me thinking about to to fix myself, being motivated and then feeling really low to where i thought about harming myself, which is know it dumb and not worth it). Now at this point (which is my second week of my second attempt at no contact) it’s a repeat of the previous one except now I’ll feel hopeful one moment and confident that she will come back to feelings completely hopeless. It’s a whole shitty roller coaster that won’t end and it sucks when you put in so much effort to make things work just to have it fail anyways, because of that I’ll sometimes no matter how hard i try it’ll mean nothing in the end (that’s just what my depressed mind is thinking). Hopefully they realize soon before by the time they want to say sorry it’ll be too late, either we will have moved on or our love for our ex’s will turn into something bitter.
That’s great! I’m happy that you found something else to do instead of being sad all day. Not sure if you see that going anywhere or anything but make sure you’re 100% better before you decide to get back out there, because there’s nothing worse then dating someone just to get over your ex because then you’ll just be putting someone else in the same situation we’re in.