To sum it up fast. Basically I broke up with her because she started to get mean, used hurtful sarcasm, controlling (she was able to do whatever she wanted wherever she wanted and I wasn’t, even with sex between us, if she wanted to and I was like sleeping then she would get mad if I wanted to and she didn’t then she would get mad), broke promises (some about sex and some about when to get married movie in or jobs), did things that were sketchy and looked like she tried cheating (such as telling me to play video games just so I can look over to see her chatting away at random guys on her phone and fb and seeing her tell random guys she wanted to go get drunk with them in a different country without me. Of course she pulled it off as a joke that she just apparently liked saying a lot. She even randomly went to the gym with some guy she didn’t let me meet or want to tell me who it was and got mad when I asked) , yelled a lot and said hurtful things. The thing she loved to say was that I was a stuck up rich snobby kid because I’m still living at home while going to two schools. I was really nice and never swore once to her or said anything mean when she always did to me, so I guess living at home while going to college also means that you’re snobby now or something, Apparently she doesn’t believe in college. So basically I guess she loved trying to say I was a bum because I didn’t work two part time jobs or full time while going to two schools full time, because she just wanted to move in before I was ready. I told her I wasn’t ready multiple times. People also think she just wanted to use my family and I for money as well because we spent a lot of money on her when she didn’t on us or pay back. For example my mom bought her tires and said she didn’t have to pay her back if she helped clean our house. She cleaned one room that we thought wasn’t worth that much money. So I asked her to at least give my mom something and she flipped out on me. She had enough to pay my mom something because she spent hundreds and thousands on herself like painting her car and getting tattoos. After the break up she posted the first week that she was with other guys hanging out or who knows what. After that she fought some more. It’s like she didn’t even know how to be nice to me anymore because for the next month every time she tried to text me first had attitude and was somewhat mean. For example she said “it’s beyond me how you could have possibly forgot to give me my cd”. Just randomly as if that was supposed to be nice, so I tried no contact more and she messeged a month later on her bday saying “I know your not talking to me what ever that’s cool… And on about some movie”. I felt bad because I wanted to say happy bday but she sent that first so I didn’t. So now I’m entering the third month after the break up or the second of no contact. The most that happened within those months was I liked a fb comment of hers on my friends post last week. We’re not friends on there right now but I can like it on a mutual friends post. My question is…… Should I try to even get back with her? Do you think she can get nicer and change and not do sketchy stuff? If so how long should I wait to contact her directly now? I still do love her although everyone I know tells me that I shouldn’t.
I still love her because I can remember the good times and intimacy
Hello Seanl’s, how are you?
Sorry for my english
A friend of mine had a similar situation where the girlfriend did what she wanted, when she wanted to and he always accepted. He recently discovered that she cheated on him and worst have sex with the guy without a condom. He told me never wanted to see her, but she promised that would change, I wanted to do the thing go right etc and so he forgave. I’m trying everything to change my problem to try to get my ex and I think this is what you should think! She’s trying to change? She wants to act differently to get you back?
I know that when we love someone, we want to go over the problems, but the dating is done by two people. You alone will not bring about change.
What you have to think about is to what extent she wants to change and how far you want to take risks.
Have more evidence that she wants to make the relationship work
Best.
Thank you for helping me out. So basically what you’re saying is go slow and get more evidence that she is changing for the better because it’s not up to me to change her, she has to do that? In that case what should I do? Continue no contact for maybe like another month or something then add her back on fb and just text her or something then all while looking at what she’s been posting to see if she’s trying and see how she responds when I text her?
Yes Seanl , she has to want to change or you will get into the same relationship ?
The Kevin says: If you come back , we have to think it’s a new relationship , and the two have to work for sucess!
You said she has sent messages to you but you feel if she bothered to change ? In reviewing the errors she committed ?
Do you have any prove about her change?
Try do not go through these bad things again.