wow this is very scary, and very hard but your right, after I contact him what should I do? Should I write him that letter or should I text him? and what should I say? Also I am talking with someone, but of course only as friends, lol theres other’s that I may be able to talk to as well. lets see what happens of course I only want my husband. 
Yes, but don’t tell your husband that or any of the men your texting
It’s hard to say at this point - wait and see what happens (how he acts) the next week or so because it seems as though you two will see each other and lots of things can happen. Maybe in 12 days, you need to wait 12 days more. You should probably text him, but it depends what you want to tell him…
your right, lots of things can happen,but I feel like he isn’t going to make a move. I feel scared. so what your saying is wait this week to see how he’s acting then act from there? so wait 12 days before contacting him? so you think I should still go on a date or will that savatage me? so wait 12 days more after the first 12 days that I contact him? and when should I text him and what should I say? also dont tell my husband or any of the other men what? that im texting all of them? lol
He might not make a move just yet, which is also why you need to give him more time. If you dont give him enough time, he might just reject you.
No matter what, you still need to go on a date!
For right now, wait 12 days to contact him. If nothing has changed, dont contact him and wait 12 more days from there. What do you want to write him in the text/letter?
yeah I think your right, it’s hard waiting for the right time to contact them and knowing when the perfect time is right. this is so hard. yeah I don’t think he will make a move, maybe none at all. I wonder though if he’s happy or waiting for me to make a move first? but I wont, not till after, messaging him first. well I really would like to avoid saying anything about the break up or that I accept it, for starters. I don’t wanna take a risk there. I wouldn’t know what exactly to write. would you have any suggestions? Also are you gonna do the going out on a date as well?
I’m gonna do just that, it’s hard waiting when wanting to contact him and not being able too, but what if he contacts me. he would call me but never leaves messages. just in case he does.
I’m gonna try and see if I can get a date. I think it’s a good thing. I’d prefer to go with my ex but I’m gonna try and follow some parts of the 5 step plan.
If you don’t want to talk to your husband about the break up/relationship then maybe write something lighthearted like “just went to … it reminded me of you and put a smile on my face”…
When I’m done with my 30 days, I’m thinking of leaving a letter in my ex’s mailbox with 2 football tickets with a note saying “You might not remember, but back when we met I promised you these tickets. Back then they were sold out but now i managed to get a hold of 2. I hope you’ll bring me.”
wow it would be nice to go on a date with someone you know, I wish I had a friend but I don’t. lol I like your text idea and I love your letter idea. My husband lives with his sister in her town home so I don’t have a way of getting a hold of his mailbox but I do know where he parks his car at work. but my question is what are you planning on writing to him in the letter? I wish I was creative in that way. I know he loves boxing and mma so maybe i can fine tickets to an event. you just gave me this idea, lol. also what other ideas do you have? and what type of things am I suppose to talk to him about when I do see him? as I only started studying now and exercising. I wish i could start up a hobby but how?
Maybe you could get his address from your mother in law?
For my sake, I am not planning on writing anything but the “You might not remember, but back when we met I promised you these tickets. Back then they were sold out but now i managed to get a hold of 2. I hope you’ll bring me.” That will be all. I’m thinking that it will be sweet, make him smile, make me not seem desperate and by saying “i hope you’ll bring me” not demanding that he does bring me. It puts the ball in his court - if he wants to see me, then he’ll invite me to go I hope! haha
Yes, I think that the boxing/mma will be a good thing. That way, you will have something to talk about all the time since you can always talk about what you’re watching. Also, it will create a good memory for him and he’ll be reminded of the good times you had. It also shows that you’re making an effort to make him happy. If you’ve been with him for 12 years and you have 2 children together i’m sure you’ll find something to talk about. But 1 thing you must NOT talk about is your break up/getting back together unless he brings it up. You have to be cheerful, happy = be your best self. You could start up a hobby - what stuff interests you?
Oh, I just had another idea. If my ex doenst want to take me to the football match, then i’ll do the no contact for 30 days again and then send him a huge box of m&m’s with a note saying “I know how much you love these. I hope they’ll bring a big smile to your face. Enjoy!”
When I met my ex he fell for me because I always did really sweet things for him but for the past 2 years i haven’t so I think I might get him back if I start doing it again LOL
No, unfortunately, she knows just as much info as I do. I really like your idea. very personal and creative. If for some reason I can’t fine tickets to an event, I was thinking maybe asking him if he wants to go with me somewhere to see one, like wing house or hooters. I’ll have to check all of this out. or maybe inviting him to go to a Halloween thing at an amusement park or something, well coming up with something. what do you think? If not i may find myself having to do no contact again and I dont know how i’ll handle that. :-/ I notice you mention not to bring up the break up but if he does what am I suppose to say and/or act and do? So you would be willing to go another month with no contact? you are very brave. lol… that’s a nice way to do things. I would need to start doing that to then, and it’ll show a change side in me as well. lol… I love your ideas, very creative. You wont believe what just happened to me. lol I went to the grocery store to get my med at the pharmacy. this is the store my husband works at, but I don’t know most of the people there so they don’t know who I am. my husband is off today. so I decided to go today to get my med so he wont think im stalking him, like he did to me. lol… the kids and I were hungry so we went to the deli to have sandwiches made. when I notice a girl who caught my eye. I read the name but wanted to make sure so I told my oldest, whats her name and she told me. omg it was one of the girls my husband is talking to. I wanted to whoop her a$$ right there, but of course, I started thinking, hey I can get arrested, it’ll push my husband away, and he has part in this to as well. I notice that his department (meat) is next to hers (deli). omg what a day. she left when she notice I gave her the stank eyes,lol, but then I saw her in the front of the store, she left through the back. she was talking to a bunch of workers. ugh, but I have no idea how I contained my self. I also felt like crying but remember my husband is mine still and I need to follow the plan. ugh…lol what do you think? btw haven’t heard anything from my husband at all today. ugh
Yes, you can do that. But make sure that you take him to something that he loves! That way, there’ll be a smaller risk of rejection. If he brings up the break up, talk about it,but dont get all emotional. Act cool, calm and kept together.
Oh yes! Not because I want to go another month without being in contact with him but im willing to do anything to get him back. I’m not sure I’m using the right tactic, but only time will tell. Though honestly I hope he’ll be back in my arms
like yesterday!!!
Oh wow, that’s crazy! Glad that you managed to keep relatively calm… If you see her again, be really nice to her. She will for sure tell your husband and it will baffle his mind.
It’s good you havent heard from him - the No Contact is what you need to do right now!
Cassie said it all! I read your story.
Start doing something that makes you happy, like a hobby or something to keep your mind occupied! I think everyone wants what they can’t have… So change style, do something with your hair, be HAPPY and watch him come crawling back to you! And at the date, show CONFIDENCE. My ex has really bad confidence and it’s unattractive, even made me lose my confidence, lol. So confidence is key here. Stay cool and calm as cassie said. DO NOT, let your emotions take control. You’re doing great so far, keep it up!
I see, I will have to look into events then, but what if he rejects me? I understand and agree with you, I feel you, I want him back so bad, already too. That girl doesn’t know who I am and she doesn’t concern me much as she’s like you said a rebound,lol, it does however bother me that she does happen to work in the department right next to his. 
lol…but if I do happen to run into her I’ll probably do just that. My husband came by last night. I spend too much time where he was I think. :-/ I really missed him, he stood for a while. Then he mention he was leaving and I left the room before he left. It’s funny because he’s already seeing changes in me. It doesn’t help when I have my oldest telling him that I lost a lot of weight and that im whatever amount of Lbs now, or that we saw “his girlfriend” at his job. he said she’s not his girlfriend just a friend but as he was saying this was kinda smiling turning his head up and to the side. that hurt. then on the other side I have his mom telling him I’m applying for help. and she’s telling him all this stuff. man I’m really not gonna have much to talk to him about am I? I’m so confused. yesterday I did see him looking at me but as I was speaking, idk. He also was playing with our youngest throwing a stuffed animal around and he “hit me” by mistake, lol, I turned around and gave him a look and he just was making a “oops” type face, my oldest said, your flirting with mommy and I said he wasn’t flirting he hit me by mistake. and he kinda agreed and kinda said the same thing, but he didn’t get mad or acted crazy when she said it either. Then when he was in his car leaving, I turned the lights upstairs off because it was night time and I was looking out the window on the top to the parking space, I saw him glance up to look at the window, I hope he didn’t see me looking,lol, that made me happy but idk why he did it. then he left. I missed him so much, I stared crying, my oldest also told him when I was gonna leave the room the first time that I was gonna go and cry, idk why but I said no I’m not and went back in the room and sucked it up. Today he called me, not because he wanted to talk but because he got a call from the school saying our youngest didn’t go. So he left me a voice mail, stating he got the call and wanted to know if everything was ok. I never called him back though. I don’t know if I should or just leave it or send him a quick text or just leaving it at that. at least he showed concern. he hasn’t been communicating much lately. his mom said that she spoke to him in the AM yesterday and he told her he had an appointment but she didn’t know what kind, I’m curious to know what type it was but am not gonna ask him. I hope he’s ok. I’m really concern about him. but I don’t know. Oh funny thing here,lol, his mom is a Muslim and I’m a christian, but she told me that in the mosque they could probably help us with something, because everything has been going wrong in my life lately, lol, so I said if they can help then lets go. so we went and I ended up wearing a hair covering out of respect, lol, and my husband in a thousand years would never had thought I would do that,lol so his mother started telling him how we went there and how I even covered my hair,ect,lol and he was in shock,lol and my oldest took a picture of me, and he told her I guess with out thinking im not sure if he was or not,he said send it to me. and then after a coup;e of times saying it he was like I was just playing, my oldest was like well I already send it to you. lol he didn’t say anything. so im not sure what to think about this. Im so sad when he calls and dont hear what I want to or when he doesn’t express himself how I want him to. What do you think about all of this? he has seen a lot of changes lately as well when he comes over, like we don’t have hot water at the moment and he heard me talking about it with his mom and sister, and heard we were showering with cold water lol, he also seen me getting in the rain with our kids,lol, just things I never use to do or wouldn’t, lol, What do you think? do you think I stand a chance? thanks :-)btw the reason I didn’t answer the phone was because no contact. I would like to end it soon, but I’m scared of being rejected. :-/ any thoughts on this? thanks
@clear Thanks for your input. I’ll follow that. and thanks to @cassie for helping me through this. lol
and @funkylicious for your input and help as well.
Is he a muslim?? If he is, showing him that you either care about his culture or religion will make a huge difference, trust me on that!
No, but it did impact him a lot, he has gone to the mosque a long time ago and has been between religions, trying to find his way. But his face said a lot when He notice that, So I don’t know, when we first met he wasn’t any.
Well, keep doing what you’re doing. Seems to me you’re attracting him towards you again. Keep being strong and don’t let emotions get the best out of you!
I think you should do the no contact for a little while longer… You’re almost there but keep it going. He’s still the one controlling the relationship so I think there is still a chance of rejection and you are also still too emotional when he’s around. If you almost started crying yesterday then you for sure need to do the no contact for a while longer.
Thanks, I’m really not sure what i’m doing but whatever it is I hope it’s working,lol. I’ll keep giving updates as I’ve been doing.