My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago, and he's being a complete idiot.

Hi,

So my ex and I were together for over 2 years, and have had a thing for eachother since we were kids. We couldn’t date as we were always in other relationships until finally 2 years ago. We got together. We have so much history it’s insane. With that being said, we got into a fight and I said I was done, not done with the relationship, but done with the conversation. He took this the wrong way and held this against me. We didn’t have the best communication with our feelings and I regret this now so bad. If we would of just been honest about our feelings, things would of worked out.

I thought this was just another one of our fights because he continued to act like we were together. Until one day he asked when I’d be moving back to my old place. This shocked me, so I said " I didn’t know we weren’t together" I was confused. He said you broke up with me and I’m holding it there. Who says that? With that being said it took me a 2 weeks to get my stuff organized and be able to move out. So we talked still, still slept together and made me feel sometimes as if I should hold on.

But claimed it just wasn’t going to work between us. Not even a month before that he was talking about kids and marriage soon with me? Uh wtf. Also, I could tell in the two weeks he was messaging a girl a lot. One he’s known for years, and believed this was the reason he wouldn’t give me a second chance. ( yes, I made the stupid mistake of sitting on his bedside hoping we’d get back together and apologizing for everything over and over " and he kept saying, I wish you would of been this honest through the v relationship. I kept saying, I’m going to now if you give me that chance, I want you in my life, and if better communication is what will fix that, im so down. But he wouldn’t budge, I knew it was because he wanted to see where it would go with this other girl. Because he did say I need time away from you to miss you and clear but head.

So finally I asked " your talking to another girl aren’t you? " here explained he met up with her a few times in the past two weeks and she seems like a sweet heart etc. Like I cared to know what she is like? Seriously. So I stopped him there. Packed my shit and got out. All the hot and cold signatures m signals were torture after everything we’ve been through, than finding out that was the icing on the cake. We’ve been broke up for a total of 3 weeks as of now and clearly he started talking to her immediately after. He said this girl had liked him for a long time and he had no interest in her until now. Makes me sick. So after I moved my shit out, I was having a hard time wrapping my head around things and my best friend seen that. So she wanted to call him so she would know where he was at with his feelings for me so she could help be hold on our move on.

That’s strictly why she called. She said to him, tell me what VB your thinking because I need to help my friend, she’s a mess. He replied “I love her so much, and always will, I’ve just been asking for my space so I can clear my head etc. And that there’s still hope for us” she said ok but I don’t think it’s in your best interest to talk to this other girl as it becomes a distraction on thinking and possibly fixing things with my best friend " he agreed, and said he wants to think about me and this and he wouldn’t be talking to her anymore until he cleared his head.

She told him ok, I want you to know that I will be repeating this to my best friend, so she understands where you’re at. And he said that us completely fine thanks for this" the next day, my exes bff messaged me new years night saying how I should be here and it’s not right without me here. I knew he was hinting that the “new chick” was there. (This was new years night, and the following day mY friend had this talk with him). What the hell? I’m annoyed. I poured my damn heart out. And he lives up the street.

I found out she stayed the night there, and again last night. The sick part is she’s been hiding her truck behind his house. He had no reason to lie to my friend, she specifically made it clear she was calling to get the answer whether it was good or bad to guide me in the proper direction. Why lie? Thi literally 2 weeks after our relationship? This is completely out of character for him. As he asked me the other day to please not go dating people right away in our small town because he just couldn’t bare seeing it. He’s making everyone uncomfortable. I think he’s not using his head. Alot of my stuff is still there and texted yesterday saying I need my shit, I’m not playing games. No reply. I love him with everything, and really did not expect this from him at all.

If I pulled this shit, he’d lose it. (My friend messaged asking if she could swing by to pick my stuff up and that he proved his sick point, he replied saying “I proved my point? You told Tiff our conversation and said I loved her, that’s not cool” ) I know it was actually said, because I was there? What’s going on with this idiot? 2 weeks and he’s already having this trashy bitch staying at his house two nights in a row? Rebound much, he was just crying to me about everything and sleeping with new 4 days ago!

Update on this. :
Hi,
I have noticed no replies to my post etc. But also noticed I just rambled about the current situation. With that being said, I went to get my shit we argued off and on. He said he still loved mec still but he won’t give up the fact “why I love him so much now, when it didn’t seem like I did in the relationship” I always loved him I guess had a shitty way of showing it. I explained all of this to him and he just thinks our relationship would go back to normal. It’s hard to get him to understand that I don’t want our “old” relationship back, and that I want to move forward with him and more drive to show him how much I appreciated him and make up for not doing that. Lately he’s been fairly friendly with me and has called to make an effort to talk about things. He’s starting to own up to faults as well. How do I make him understand that this “will work” if he got back with me. He always says “it won’t work”. I know that’s not the case. That boy did everything for me, and it makes me sick were not together because I was terrible for not always showing him I did. Help?

You need to show him that it will work not tell him. Take some space from him work on yourself and the things you say will change so your relationship will work. When you have had space and he reaches out you will be in a much better place. What he did with that other girl sounds like a rebound, you need to let him do him and you do you. When you’ve taken the space you will start seeing things clearly and it will help you decide whether or not he’s the best for you. Trust me the space will help, if he come back and you get together awesome the space will leave you in a good place and if you don’t get back together guess what? You will still be at a good place. Let him miss you and realize whether he want to get back together pr not but for now just worry on yourself

Yeah,
I totally understand that. He has been weird lately. I was at a friend’s place last night and he was asking where I was and making joking comments and me being with another guy etc. Saying stupid things along those lines. Talked to him for 2 hours on the phone tonight about things. And now he’s basically saying he would get back with me and try, but then he’d be possibly ruining things that might potentially end up good with the “new” random girl he’s been seeing. So basically saying I’m his second option, real nice. 17 years of liking eachother for a chick he’s known for a month? Regardless of this, how could I ever take him back after pretty much being his second option? It sounds bad but is this common after break ups and rebounds? It seems like he doesn’t want me to fully move on, but this is stupid

How long has it been since you last spoke? Do you feel like you’ve given yourself some distance to think about what it is you really want? Do you want to go back to him after being treated like a second option?

Hi!

Why not try the no contact rule, Or try to show him that you are actually happy even without him. You can also complement his new chick. For sure he will be surprised. U can also hangout with his best friends.

What I understood from you is that he still loves you, so you still have a chance.

^^???

We speak often. Which I know I shouldn’t do. We talked again on the phone for like 2 hours again last night. No I don’t want to be his second choice. But I know him better than this, and like I’ve said before it’s completely out of character. I think he is rebounding hard. And is soaking up being treated like a god throughout there honey moon stage. He doesn’t seem to want be to move on completely. The other night he was gettin panicky because I wouldn’t tell him who I was hanging out with and got extremely jealous when this guy was hitting on me in the bar I work at. I know he blocks my number the minute he hangs out with this chick. As clearly he Doesnt want this new girl to know we still talk etc, and I know he loves me, I can tell, and he says it. He told me last night " why couldn’t you do this when we were together? It’s actually stressful to know you want these things when you never showed them " I’ve told him I took him for granted and shouldn’t of assumed he’d never leave me. Its just a sad situation, and things would be different if he didn’t jump to another girl a week after we broke up. It’s ridiculous, and he should of waited because now he’s even more suck in between what’s the right choice. He wouldn’t of had another choice if he didn’t act like a irrational idiot after we split