Mr. undecided

reconciliation
1

Hello!

My boyfriend and I broke up in the middle of june this summer…
I am in quite a bad place at the moment so i thought I should seek som guidance and help here. I tried the system and I think it had started working, but due to some critic happenings it got broken off about after 3 weeks of no contact. Then we had a little contact and after he came home from work (he works on the sea 4 weeks at a time). We met and everything was great, he told me had missed me a lot and regretted his decisions.He opened up more than ever before about his feelings and things that had happened to him in the past.

But due to his decision before we had now moved to separate apartments and live now about 10 hours from each other. So when I had to go home and we had to make som kind of decision he said that he has feelings for me and want to be with me but he just feels like he can’t. Like he has mental barriers he can’t get past.

Well after that we have now had contact (stupid i know) and it remains the same. He says that he has feelings for me and care about me but it’s just so much right now that speaks against us and he is so tired of feeling sad and tired. He just wants to be alone and think things through.

So well, I have decided to do no contact again mostly because for my self but also in case that he might come to the conclusion that he doesn’t want to loose me.

But yeah, i don’t know what to do in my specific situation, like how can I deal with the fact that he has this issues. I know that he has issues with feelings and letting people in? He is also dreaming om taking a job on the sea where he would be away for a longer time and I think that affects his decision as well.

We are and were really great together and completes each other in every way.We’ve had a lot of good memories and had a great time living together. I can see us growing old together so I think it would be such a loss for us not getting a real shot at have a great relationship together.

What should I do? Specially do to his problems? How can we get past them and how can I show him that we could make it work, that if he wants to be with me, he can. And to mention we are both young, me 20 years old and he is 25 years old. We have been together for almost 2 years.

Help me guys!

2

@Emiquestions - You can’t force a guy to make quick decisions. He wants to be alone so he can think about you, himself, and his career, so respect his request and go strict no contact. You can’t solve his mental barrier problems either. If he’s severely depressed, therapy might help.

3

Thank you for your answer, I know that you’re right, it’s hard to see when in the situation but it is true. I don’t think that he is severely depressed but I think he should talk to someone at least, but that’s not up to me.

4

@Emiquestions - Hoping for the best. Take care.

5

It sounds like you are doing all the right things not only for yourself but for him. Sometimes the best thing someone can do for someone else is to give them time and let them work out their own issues. I wish you the best.