sorry about my late reply!! thanks so much for your opinions guys - we were having a great conversation! but I didn’t want the conversation to die out, so I ended it (nicely of course!) by saying “have a lovely time with matt today,hope hes well and have fun climbing the tanks! and working of course :P”
I thought if Im seeing him friday (hopefully - he hasnt mentioned anything about it to me in our messages :S) that 2 days of not talking will give us something to talk about if that makes sense hehe.
now that ive had time to read all your guys threads, I’ll go through each one.
@thargus it sounds so so positive! just keep what youre doing - you dont sound too available and it sounds really positive that she wants to do boxing too! I really hope it works out for you - you’ve been so patient with it all which has been amazing! I think thats the key with all of us here! and thats good that shes planning in advance- she’s already wanting to see you in the future!
@1stanza ill go onto your other thread and read the updates!
I hope so, I just feel I have my doubts for some reason. I dunno. Could be just me feeling crappy or something. One thing I did notice was that when we went shopping I picked up her basket to hold and she took it to hold herself. I would carry her shopping normally because, well, why not? Its nice. Plus she buys a lot of stuff and it becomes heavy. Later on I took it back off her because she was struggling. But I could tell she didn’t want me to and the reason is obvious, because I’m not in a relationship anymore with her it would make her feel awkward me doing small things like that for her. :\
if it makes you feel any better, when i saw my ex we had a similar type thing…
it was really rainy, and i was like “shall we find shelter?” and he was like “theres no-where really around here, apart from that phnebox but that would be a bit cramped…” in the end i was like “pffft FINE lets just walk quickly!”
think of it not as awkward, but keeping the cards close to her chest/sexual awkwardness if that makes sense? i dont think she did it in a way that meant “i dont want to be in a relationship with you”, but maybe just wanted to show she can manage to do stuff by herself?
its not a bad thing i did it with my ex when i met up with him haha, its a bit of a confidence boost but yeah dont think too much into it, its not a bad thing
Hmm I see what your saying. Tha ks and yeah I’m still trying to learn not to think too much into things. Its difficult to realise when you are doing that lol
she just text me again, saying, “Hi. could i be an absolute pain and ask for a lift again today. My sister cant take me but i was meant to be seeing my friend this afternoon.”
shes asking me to give her a lift to work again today,
i replied with this
“just gonna find out my shift and ill let you know, i dont have proper rotas yet since ive come back to work so im having to wait/ask for my times when my boss answers his phone. and woman, how many times do i have to say you are not a massive pain lol”
she replied “haha i disagree thanks. if not dont worry :)”
I dunno what to do. People are telling me to just give up, people who dont know her and things but are giving me advice and I dont know where to go with it. They are saying if she wanted to be with me she would be by now and things, it’s very off-putting and its messing with how I feel. I want to stay persistent and its been 3 and a half months since she broke up with me… Hells sake.
Thargus everyone has a different timing You two are talking and going out, she is even talking about the future. Why would she say you should see that movie in months if she wasnt thinking of being with you by then? Don’t fret, just keep going for now
Trust your gut instinct. One of the things I regret is not following my gut as I knew there was something wrong with my ex but rather then nip it in the bud, I let it go and it ended up becoming worse.
Follow your heart. Your heart know what it wants, believe in it and be patient. Don’t over-think and if it’s meant to be,it’s meant to be.
Hey guys!! So as you know I met up with my ex, and he wanted to talk about serious stuff, so I plucked up the courage and asked him…
Turns out, it was not what I expected. He has said that he wants to get back together I was completely gobsmacked. COMPLETELY. I told him about how he made me felt, how upset I was, and he said he felt the same and didn’t know why he did it but that it was panic.
He then said how much he missed me, and said can we get back together. I said I don’t know because I was so so hurt I feel extremely wary, and he said I want this for the long run.
Obviously I don’t know what to do! My friends and family dislike him profusely, and I don’t what they will say if I get back with him.
We kissed, and I said that I wasn’t sure and he had to take me out on a date and woo me over…I’m scared!
At this point, a couple of things. First off, congrats Amy! I’m sure this is absolutely terrifying but I’m also really excited for you, given that I know how much you care about him and wanted him back. Second, I think you’re totally right to make him work for it some. I think he ought to have to take you on some dates, prove to you that he’s worth it, woo you, etc. Obviously, if you really think this is going to work out and you want to be with him, don’t push it. But take your time and slowly wade back into this. I think that if you really love him and he can prove he’s changed, your friends and family will/can get over it. No one ever likes the person who dumped someone close to them, but people do get back together. They’ll work through it. For now, just breathe and enjoy the fact that things are working in your favor. You’ve been waiting for this. It’s all going to work out in your favor.
So I met up with him again last migjt…and we ended up sleeping together and now am worrying he’s also worried that he’ll hurt me, which is already putting doubts in his mind.
His mum also doesn’t want us getting back together-she has said to him she wants him to be in lots of different relationships to realise what/who he wants :S he said he thinks it’s a bit of a slutty thought, but obviously listens to
His mum
I don’t know what to think/do. We want to get back together, but at the same time we’re both scared. And now that I’ve slept with him I’m worried it’s going too quickly.
I think the worst thing you can do right now is pretend that neither of you are scared or have concerns. I think the best thing you can do is voice what those things are and tackle how to take care of them together. If everything is out in the open, you can address it and move on in a healthy way. I think everything will work out, especially if you want to be able to get back together. You just HAVE to be able to talk about things like this or you’re doomed from the start. In terms of sleeping with him, that also just needs to be talked about. Mutually decide if you guys are okay with it at this point, and if you’re not, then just hold off for a bit. One bit of sex isn’t going to completely blow this.
So she didn’t turn up at boxing yesterday. I asked her if she would like to go out on Saturday too and she didn’t reply. I made a joke of her not replying in another text and still no reply.
I dunno what’s up.
I did all that for her in the week, I took her to lunch, dropped cv’s off with her, printed one too. Took her to work on Tuesday because she was really in the dumps. And when I ask her if she is free because I want to spend a day with her, no strings attached… She doesn’t even respond to it. And now I hate myself for feeling annoyed at her. I genuinely do and I dont know why.
If I’m just being a “friend” like she “wanted” then why is she acting like this?
I want to know what was on her mind that day and whatever still is.
Thargus, you already sent multiple texts. I know you feel bad and all, but maybe you should just let it be… And if she is gonna treat you like this all the time (being great with you, and then ignore you again) maybe you should have a definite talk or move on? I’m sure it’s so painful to you you don’t deserve it you seem like such a nice guy
I should not be online right now.
I was completely gobsmacked. COMPLETELY. I told him about how he made me felt, how upset I was, and he said he felt the same and didn’t know why he did it but that it was panic.
he’s also worried that he’ll hurt me, which is already putting doubts in his mind.