I read your story, and I’m sorry you’re going through that. I hope everything runs smoothly for you because believe me, I feel your pain. Your situation may be different but the pain is the same. And my bad habits are part of what pushed her away. I didn’t really have a problem with drinking until about a month after she left me, but then I was out of control and made a lot of life altering decisions and that spanned into the time I was seeing her again as well. But I’ve got a grip on that now. I’ve had a problem with smoking weed for about a year and a half now and still do. I just feel so depressed all the time, and I think that’s part of the reason she went away is because she was already so sad and bipolar/depressed and I was really sad all the time. But I’m trying to fight it but depression always feels like I’m fighting a losing battle. I’m not interested in any of the things I used to be. I’m even getting a car finally after conquering my fear of driving as something positive for myself but it isn’t really even making me as excited as it should. I even got a job offer so I could leave my shitty job, but I’m too scared to call everytime. Her indecisiveness and mixed signals/mood swings are hard for me to comprehend even though I am the same way but less severe. Sometimes I feel like I’m delusional for ever thinking I could win her back. I still talk about her, it’s like I’m convincing myself she still exists so I don’t forget her. This is a weird feeling I’ve never quite felt before in my life.
But is it really a rebound if she already had a rebound? When I talked to her before she said she really like him and can’t fuck that up by seeing me and it’s unfair to him for her to fuck around with me. And then she said a week or so later that he likes her but she doesn’t really care and that she doesn’t feel anything for people anymore. But it fucks me up because now they’re dating and all I can do is feel like shit and try to ignore it. I just don’t understand. If she doesn’t like him then why are they together now? This is all fucked and I feel like it’s pointless but I’m still in love with her. I feel so foolish, I hope it passes.
Hey! Sorry for the late reply I read the update. That’s totally expected and don’t worry. You just need to quit contact with her. She just still seems confused and she might be using him to fill that whole of having no one right now. Her texting you shows she still cares. Just don’t message her anymore until the end of the NC. Or until you feel it’s the right time like if you need to wait longer.
I know it hurts and I feel your pain. She does not seem stable honestly. Seems like she’s just trying to make you jealous by posting something so early. Just deactivate again if you need to so you don’t have to keep facing this. Trust me it helps a lot. When you stay distant she will become more extracted to you as crazy as this sounds. Stay away for now.
Go on dates if you can try okcupid it’s like one of the best apps to make you feel confident by meeting new people and during that time she might come around again. It will definitely take your mind off of her in the meantime. Especially meeting new fresh people. I’m not saying find your new gf there just explore around 
When you feel you are ready and still have interest in your ex, contact her but don’t say too much.
Thank you both for putting my mind at ease. I’ve been just picking up more hours to keep myself occupied, it’s still at the back my head but I’ve been trying really hard. I know I said I got my license, but I already got a car yesterday. This is a very positive thing for me because I was so anxious about even driving but I’ve overcome that. So I’m making baby steps to better myself. I’m saving up money and such as well. It’ll make the NC go by a lot faster because I’ll be so busy I won’t even be able to think about it.
I’m also glad I took bout of your advice of maintaining NC because I almost gave in, I’m glad I didn’t budge so easy and maybe it is best I deactivate my Facebook again.
*both
That’s great! I’m glad you are keeping yourself busy. Whenever you are ready, you can activate it again and she will see how much you changed by getting a new car and seeing how happy you are right now. TRUST ME being a girl, I know she will look through your Facebook. When she notices you aren’t bothered anymore by the situation she might become attracted again. Even if you go on dates or going out with friends, post it on there! Show you are having a good time.
I don’t know, don’t take this the wrong way but women are so unpredictable. So you saying that gives me a little peace of mind, honestly. She’s so hard to read and you never know how she’s going to react to something, that’s what I love and hate about her. I’m just gonna continue to keep myself busy and just try to be positive about the outcome even though it’s really difficult now.
But she obviously takes notice to my Facebook outcome and came in contact immediately after I reactived. But I’m not sure that’ll happen a second time. She doesn’t like to be lonely so I hope you’re right about just filling the hole. What we had was really special and I don’t think I’ve ever felt a bond quite like it before. I just have to show her I’m not the same guy anymore and I hope she’ll at least want to see me so I can attempt to win her love and affection back.
If you don’t mind me asking what are some things you do to pass the time and keep your mind off things? I’m just curious because I have little hobbies and am open to new ideas. Thank you. I’m just trying to keep it as far off my mind as possible.
No problem so have you totally kept the no contact going or you messed up in any way? Just making sure you stick with it!
She is definitely going to have you in the back of her mind. Thing is, you not contacting her makes her wonder and question what happened to you. And you want to keep that going.
Honestly I only did no contact for two weeks bc my situation was different but it took me a week to get out the house. I stayed at a friends which helped me ALOT. I went to the movies, went shopping, it just took my mind off for the moment. I know what helped me the most was just being with friends. Try to plan a vacation.
How long have you been doing NC so far??
I believe I’ve been doing No Contact since June 16. But she’s text me twice, once asking to help her get weed. The next day I caved and called for like twenty minutes but she ended up not coming with us. I snapchat her twice that same night, but she didn’t reply. And the second time she’s come in contact with me was when I reactivated my Facebook and added a new photo/cover photo and I saw the picture of her new boyfriend. I haven’t replied to her, yet. So I’m doing good right?
I just wish I hadn’t reactivated my Facebook so early because that kind of took a shred of hope away. I just hope it’s like you said and she is just trying to fill the hole.
And I plan to end no contact the 9th or 10th of July, do you think this is reasonable? Does this give her enough time to possibly “miss me”? When we were talking again she gave really mixed signals so that’s why I’m so confused.
She just sent me two texts. One saying “Hey” and the other “Will you at least talk to me tonight I want to apologize.” What should I do?
Okay well, I don’t know if I fucked up or not but like 20 minutes after she text me and I text her back. I picked her up at 8:30pm and everything seemed really nice actually and she even apologized for past events. She asked to hug me when I got there and before I left. Is this a good sign?
Maybe you gave in too early, thing is I don’t want her to know you are available yet bc she might think she can have the other dude and still get to talk to you at the same time. Just try to avoid that.
Other than that from what happened, it’s obvious she misses you. Still keep your cool and don’t bring up the relationship yet. And I wouldn’t really jump on it yet. Just wait it out and take it slow, give her time to think it out and make it her idea to come back. Definitely try not to text her too much. What you did is not bad, I mean she kept messaging you and it’s okay to answer to that.
It’s easy to get weed idk why she asked for that lol do you think she was trying to get your attention in some way?
Looks great so far just keep it chill and don’t message her too much. Let her bring up the relationship and make all the moves and you’ll be good.
Also, from what you are saying, it seems she’s still torn between you and the other guy. Never talk about the other guy she’s apparently with. If you insult him or talk bad about him to her, she will like him more and look at you bad.
Just never bring him up and stay positive. You will do good. Glad she wanted to see you that’s a great step.
I kept it casual and friendly. And I was acting so calm I think she was surprised she couldn’t get any type of reaction out of me. I just smiled and kept a conversation going. She also openly admitted to stalking my Facebook and wondering if I blocked her. I just kept my composure but when I hugged her I started to miss her smell it was really weird. But I just kept my cool so as long as I keep keeping my cool things should go smoothly I hope. I’m going to wait and see if she tries to come in contact with me again.
And I never even mentioned the other guy. But she kept saying things when she got a text message like “what should I do if someone texts me something and I don’t want to respond should I just not.” It seemed odd to me like maybe she hinting that she wasn’t interested in what he had to say. I’m probably just going too deep into it but idk.